Interview with Interdimensional Artist Synchro Mystic

Find the full interview on YouTube Here.

Natascha: I’m here at Azila’ Cauldron in Eureka with Roman, a visionary artist and OG creative force of Humboldt County. My name is Natascha, and I want to thank you for tuning into the Little Lost Forest blog. I’m beyond excited to dive into the art, theory, history, and creative journey of Roman a.k.a Synchro Mystic. How are you doing?

Roman: Doing pretty good. Thank you.

Natascha: Awesome. Roman, where are you from?

Roman: Mind, body or spirit?

Natascha: All. All of the above.

Roman: I typically say that that way because my body is from Mexico. My spirit is universal, and my mind is global. My mind knows and exists and is part of a global reality that we’re perceiving together. And that definitely is who I am. But also, my physical body is a certain part of who I am, and my spirit is definitely on this mission. That is who I am as well. And those three are distinctly different things in a certain way, and my job is to try and align those together, that’s why.

Natascha: Your universal consciousness has landed you here.

Roman: Yes, but so many dimensions we can talk about that from. And that’s why I like to do art.

Natascha: Wonderful. Well during these interviews, feel free to dive into rabbit holes. We’re all really interested to see what inspires this beautiful art you make.

Roman: Thank you.

Natascha: How old were you when you first started drawing and creating?

Roman: I called myself, and this is, like, one of the most profound and silly, experiences in my life. I called myself an artist at three years old, and I specifically remember this experience that did that. And one of my older sisters came home from school with this big pad of paper, and it looked huge. But then again, I was a little kid, so it might have been a normal sized pad of paper. [Natascha’s Laughter] But then she puts it down, and then she shows me her drawings and I’m like before this moment, I considered myself a magician. And I was like, always pretending to make things disappear out of handkerchiefs and silly things that I saw. And I thought, I’m a magician. So, there’s first, there’s that. And I think that’s very symbolic because I think art is very magical. But anyway, I saw this sketchbook that my sister had, and one there was a crocodile she drew, and I could see a crocodile on this paper with lines drawn on a two-dimensional flat piece of paper, and I could see the three-dimensional crocodile that it was. And I was like, wow, that’s cool. And then the next one was a girl in a bikini. And I was like, that’s a girl in a bikini. I know exactly what it is. And it’s just a few simple lines on a flat piece of paper. And I was like, that’s magical. [Natascha: Mhm.] So, from that moment onward, I instantly call myself an artist, even though I didn’t know how to draw or whatever, because, uh, because at first, I was a magician. So, what did you have to learn?

Natascha: Would you say at a young age you related magic to art.

Roman: Instantly at three years old.

Natascha: That’s wonderful. I think you kind of answered this question, but what initially inspired you? Maybe outside of your sister’s drawing, what were some of the inspirations that have ended up fueling your creativity now?

Roman: Oh, man, I could have countless and countless stories, but I guess one fundamental, um, experience was, uh, being in Seattle during a very critical time in history, and I mean that in many different ways. The music scene and then the technological explosion that was coming from Microsoft at that time, an era when the very beginning and I tried LSD and, something I was never really too proud to boast about. But I also think that it’s a very important thing to express, that there’s these moments of that we can utilize as tools to activate something. Because on my psychedelic awakening, I definitely had so many things come together. And it isn’t all based on the psychedelic awakening. The Psychedelic Awakening gave me a view into the things that were already happening in my life. Like, calling myself a artist/ magician at three years old and a lot of mystical experiences that I never really understood growing up. That happened throughout my life. But for some reason, having a reflection like psychedelics or something external outside of us, like aliens or whatever, if you’re blessed enough to see that. But these external reflections allow us to look back at ourselves to witness these things from a third point perspective. And that helps us wake up, you know, like, oh, yeah, I notice these patterns throughout my life, I’ve never really realized how to deal with those experiences. And sometimes when you have like a psychedelic awakening, it gives you an angle to look at those things through.

Natascha: Wonderful. How would you define visionary art?

Roman: Well, visionary art to me means a lot of things. It leads me to the next thing I’m going to talk about. But just to answer your question first is, you know, at first when I got introduced to visionary Art, it was, outsider art. That was because I looked at a visionary art, magazine when I was really young, and I remembered i. It was more from people that I didn’t go to school to do art. For some reason, it was like, they call them outsider art. I thought that was interesting because there’s a visionary art museum with, uh, all these artists in there before the psychedelic visionary art movement. So then when they called the visionary art movement visionary art movement, it kind of like, wasn’t sure about that. And also, to me, vision means of our vision. But I don’t know what other art isn’t from our vision as much. (Natascha: Okay.) But don’t get me wrong, I still use that title to express our movement of artists because it’s something that people recognize right now within our circles of people, which is very powerful.

Natascha: Mhm.

Roman: However, I don’t think that it specifically talks about the movement that I’m a part of which I feel like the people of artists that you recognize yourself liking to are not a part of necessarily only. I created an art movement called the Interdimensional Art movement. (Natascha: Lovely.) And I even told Alex Gray about these things before we named the thing visionary art movement. And this was a long time ago. And he never even heard of that. And he really was vibrating with that idea, too. Which is really cool to always be able to share your ideas with other people and get reflection. And the Interdimensional art movement the acronym is I.M. (Natascha: Nice.) It’s based on the finite of yourself, your personality, your ego or whatever it is you’re that you’re wanting to express. And then the full title, Interdimensional Art movement has no limits. I think that’s more true to the what the visionary art movement that we synchronize with at the moment.

Natascha: Interdimensional Art Movement.Got it. Can you share a bit about your history as a visionary artist?

Roman: To simplify things, psychedelic awakening in Seattle. Recognizing everything at once and wanting to be part of an art movement. Because as an artist, you always look back at art movements and you relate to certain groups like the Surrealists, the Pre-Raphaelites, or like any segment throughout history, which is really inspired in certain ones inspired us more than others. Art Nouveau or whatever. I couldn’t deny that I didn’t want- I wanted to be part of a group like that, but there was no real group to that I could associate myself to at that moment. Plus, I wasn’t that advanced. But these ideas were coming. These desires were coming to me. But then I started paying attention to what kind of art movement would I want to be a part of? And then that’s when a lot of answers started coming, and that’s when I recognized, oh, those art movements. And we’re answering these questions that they ask themselves. And that’s why they became art movements, because they were answering a question of defining who we are as a culture. And that’s what creates a movement. And we attract each other that are representing this, this reality together. And then, um, that harmonizes us as a collective.

Natascha: That’s beautiful. Who are some of your colleagues in the visionary art community?

Roman: To me, I love the way you ask because there’s a seriousness to it. And then that kind of makes me laugh because I’m also a space cadet artist. But my colleagues. I’ve been blessed enough to have colleagues of all different sorts. Like, my Seattle experience was pretty profound because, when I was having this psychedelic awakening, and I was reinterpreting reality. And then I was like, I want to hang out with the Beatles. But the Beatles already happened many years before me. So, like, put the vibration I was getting the LSD vibe or whatever, you know, and I was like, wait a minute, I’m in Seattle. [Natascha laughs.] Just to bring that into perspective and for a few many years I would keep on running into people like Nirvana, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains. And this is my canvas. And I played in this dimension for a few years of running into these people all the time, getting to know these people from different perspectives. Like, I have so many memories to even remember at the moment, but one of them that’s on my mind right now is, uh, Soundgarden when they were recording BadMotorFinger. They had my paintings in the studio while they were recording a little bit of that album and stuff like that.

Roman: I remember going in there and picking up my artwork and them being all, like, polite and kind and gentle, but they’re like, really, they’re all really tall, like over six feet, you know? For me, that’s tall. Just having those memories ingrained in my brain and seeing how influential these people were, it was pretty intense. So there’s colleagues like that, but more precisely, to the art world is like, from Alex Grey. I don’t know. It’s hard to tell because the way that I learned about my colleagues is through a party that we started. That’s why it’s really hard to answer that question, because I have to, like, share the story of why I know these people. Because if I say Alex Grey, who might be the most famous and people recognize him, but there’s. I don’t want to skew the vibe just by that attention when there’s so many other beautiful and amazing artists and they all were attracted from this interdimensional art show we threw up in Seattle. And this was the beginning of before where? Before what we were doing. There was hardly ever, like, a live artist and galleries at events. That’s like something that was, I wouldn’t want to say that we started it, but we definitely made it a ritual.

Roman: And it brought together all these artists that some are now famous visionary artists from Luke Brown, Carrie Thompson. It’s like really challenging to even start naming them because there’s so many that I can’t even name. A lot of them, I’m sure that you would recognize. For instance, like Carrie Thompson came to make the most beautiful stages of electronic events throughout the world. You would recognize them because they’re super beautiful and Alex Gray and Mark Henson. I don’t know if you know Mark Henson, but he’s an amazing artist from not that far from here, from Lake County. And if I showed you his art, you would obviously recognize him.

But the reason why I really enjoy these people is because it was a family calling that brought us together, like these shows that we used to throw up in Seattle. Were exactly that. It really bonded a large group of artists together that never recognized themselves before. Now it’s easy to see. It’s all easily recognizable. But before then, we didn’t have anybody. This was like the beginning of us recognizing each other, which was really amazing.

-Roman

Natascha: Wonderful. At that time, were you part of a community? You say we.

Roman: I would say we because I can’t. I don’t ever want to feel like I’m taking responsibility for it. That’s one aspect which is still egotistical, but I am an ego, [laughter] and it’s very influential to where my idea is coming from. But at the same time, it is a collective thing that I’m just being aware of and I’m wanting to share that with people. So, I say we because, you know, I might have been inspiring certain ideas, but it came to be through a network of different people.

Natascha: Awesome. Okay. So, in your art, you use mixed media in your paintings on canvas, and they’re all very incredible and beautiful. We’ve discussed acrylic paint, pencil and paint pens in the past. Are there other mediums you’d love to work with?

Roman: Did you say airbrush?

Natascha: No.

Roman: That’s probably one of my favorite things, even though my relationship hasn’t been too intense with it yet lately. Definitely airbrush. Cool pencil for sure. Yeah.

Natascha: That leads us to our next question. What role does pencil play in your paintings beyond sketching the initial image?

Roman: Well, lately it’s been like taking a central role and I’ve allowed myself to draw more. Then I keep on realizing why I didn’t allow myself to do that more often. Because it really brings my vision together. Because I really love to draw with a pencil, and it really flows. And it’s a relationship between the lead and the and whatever the paper or canvas or whatever. It allows me to put a lot of detail as soon as I start painting, it becomes an emotional thing and I start relating to the canvas with emotions. And then oftentimes I’m I get lost in the emotions of it. When drawing with a pencil, it’s more mental, more ideas. That helps me like navigate because I’m an idea person. I can constantly be channeling my ideas, but then I bring in the emotions of color, and that’s when it starts to get the feeling. But it’s not as controllable for me.

Natascha: Can we take a second and look at this painting over to your left. Is there a pencil in that painting right there?

Roman: Yeah, this one is one of like I said recently, it’s been taking main stage. This is one of the paintings that I did as a live painting. Mhm. And I just allowed myself to just feel the music and vibe and not care about painting and just draw. So I drew pretty much the whole thing with pencil. And then I loosely started airbrushing and painting on top of it, but without covering the pencil. Of course it’s very raw and very loose. But there’s something I like about it. There’s something metallic about it that I really like.

Natascha: How do you select your color palette? You have a very nice rainbow assortment of colors in a lot of your paintings.

Roman: Yeah, definitely spectral for sure, because that’s the reality that I’ve seen. You know, a lot of my art was inspired by me walking around a lot. So, whatever I could bring with me, because that’s the way I’ve explored my reality. But also, with what I have and what I had for a while was black India ink and with airbrush, and that was it, a big bottle of it. And then I started wanting to paint with color. And then you realize you want the least amount of colors, or that was my experience. And then that led me to like, oh, the spectrum, the southern colors. From here I can do different shades of shades of whatever. That was if I look at it from the physical aspect. Like I said, you asked me who I am or, you know, uh, that’s physical. There’s also the mental and the mental is, it’s more chakra style. I use the rainbow colors because I feel like there are these seven dimensions. Those are perceiving reality. So, to me, when I learned about the chakras, it started making sense.

And being a psychedelic artist, I like to travel to different dimensions, so to speak. And the chakra system seems to be a way to understand that because each of the colors are a vibration and each vibration has a negative and a positive polarity. And if you start understanding how they interact with each other, then you can travel consciousness in that manner.

-Roman

Roman: And that’s the primary reason I use the rainbow color palette.

Natascha: Oh. That’s lovely. I hear a lot of entombment in your body when you paint and meditation as you’re painting and choosing your color palette is very interesting. Can you tell us more about the reoccurring themes in your work, what those might look like?

Roman: Definitely a lot of meditating beings, and sometimes I question myself on that. But like, I’ve had visions of tapping higher states of consciousness and feeling that. And there’s always people in the meditating pose and really high vibration. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve heard this from other people, too that these beings come in from other or we tap into a vibration or dimension that they are meditating in. When I experience that, it makes so much sense why I would be so infatuated with painting that because I’m not necessarily Buddhist, but I definitely visit the teachings a lot because very super profound. And it definitely helps as far as, you know, being present with yourself. So, there’s all those things too. I definitely have to admit there’s a lot of goddess imagery. A lot of awakening. A lot of dance parties. The dance parties are the symbol for humanity, I feel.

Natascha: Yeah. Who are the characters that we’re looking at? Do they have names? Personalities?

Roman: I don’t think about it too much, because I think it’s just like who we are on one level. So, I don’t really recognize any separation from just a snapshot of anywhere I would go. There are people dancing or whatever. That’s the main thing. But then the other profound thing is, I don’t know if you’ve heard of Tribe 13, but that was like our production company up in Seattle that through the Interdimensional Art shows. And it still continues to this day. And we have thousands of artists connected to that name. I think that you would consider visionary artists specifically. But essentially Tribe 13 is a traveling gallery at different events and that’s what we’ve been doing since Seattle, but definitely been to that gallery like boom Festival and Envision Festival and a myriad of other ones.

Natascha: You know, he just posted this on your Instagram, but can you tell us more about the meaning of Tribe 13? What where did you guys derive the name from

Roman: It’s really profound vision that happened to me as I was awakening. I told you about me about my psychedelic awakening that led me into really questioning my reality and really, dropping out, so to speak, to just meditate on these things. I started recognizing different patterns and the desire to be myself and to be accepted for myself and accept other people for themselves, which is a freedom, and all based on just the basic fundamentals of this country. So, it kind of unified all these things. But I was recognizing that nobody’s really living up to it. What does that mean? So, then I started questioning who I am. Who? Where do I belong? Or as a part of society or whatever? As I was having these profound questions, I would run into signs of different things.

And Tribe 13 stems from those realizations- as I was awakening up to this way of looking at reality- the symbols are infinite, and I can point them out later. But essentially what makes a Tribe 13 member is to recognize that we create reality, which means the only way to tap into this presence is to be in a state of giving and constant giving.

-Roman

Roman: A lot of people say, oh, yeah, it makes a lot of sense. That way you can receive. I’m like, no, that’s not the point. You can’t, um, you can’t live in a binary perspective. It’s got to be a unified perspective. And it has to come from source. So, to become a Tribe 13 member is to recognize that you are marrying yourself to your true self, which essentially synchronizes, synchronizes that to all the other beings that are doing that themselves. There’s no control mechanism, no one’s better or worse than you from from that perspective, those kind of perspectives can only come from the outer world. But the outer world is not a reality because we have to be in a state of giving. If you’re wanting to receive things, and that is one way of looking at it, but that you’re going to receive an illusion. So, Tribe 13 is the beings that are synchronized by giving from within out. Which art is the symbol of.

Natascha: Wonderful.

Natascha: I you’ve been talking about spirituality a lot, but how does spirituality influence your creative process?

Roman: Well, it helps me recognize who I am. You ask me who I was in the beginning, and I can’t answer that from one perspective. Like mind, body and spirit and spirituality. I feel like it helps guide us into what we’re supposed to be doing or wanting to do. And we don’t have to be deceived by an external belief of spirit or whatever, but to really recognize what you’re really wanting to intend as your person on this earth, which is really basic and not spiritual at all. But I would consider that spirituality because, again, chapter 13 and the vision of having to offer yourself from this source, from this center, is crucial to that. And why I would call it spirit is because it’s beyond what I could perceive. If I’m in a state of offering, I will be in this state of awe of the actual manifestation, if that’s going on.

Natascha: Would you say your art is an extension of that?

Roman: Without a doubt. But what is not. Everything is from that state. But oftentimes comes from like a really, maybe not evolved state or a weird interpretation or even negative. All these things have a way of manifesting.

Natascha: Sure. Yeah. Okay. What draws you to sacred geometry?

Roman: I definitely use sacred geometry as a thing, but I never really stick to it like some of my contemporaries, for sure. Um. Uh, yeah, I have, like, this deep gratitude for it. But I was thinking, like, if, uh, sacred geometry exists, then, uh, we are part of this, uh, sacred geometry. So, whatever I do is a part of the sacred geometry, because I can’t have a choice other than to create through the sacred geometry. So then at that point, I’m like, out the door. Don’t pay attention to it.

Natascha: Don’t even think about it.

Roman: I know exactly.

Natascha: It’s in the flowers, it’s already there.

Roman: Exactly.

Natascha: All right. What about your local community? How does that inspire your art?

Roman: That it confuses me, which inspires my art. I think our community and that’s why I, like I make a big deal with the dance party and social event because it gives us a view into our community. Where we come and show our art, our dance, our vibe, our talk, or this or the way we get drunk and shitfaced. I only say that that way because we need a safe place that people get to experience themselves and then figure out themselves so they can correct themselves. And I feel that these social settings in a loving and open environment have a way to heal. So those kinds of experiences wouldn’t be happening. And I just say that because we have a lot of healing to do, and we really need to, like, allow people to people to process their inspiration by not just accepting a rude behavior, but to recognizing and knowing that being recognized also starts having an alignment of sorts.

Natascha: I really appreciate you saying that. What shifts have you noticed in the festival scene, and why do you keep returning as an artist?

Roman: Well, to me, if there’s going to be any time traveler’s ever to come into existence, they’ll probably come through portals such as psychedelic events throughout the world.

Natascha: Cool.

Roman: I really believe that because when we go to an event like this with the artists, with the musicians, with the styles, with everybody offering their little trips, it really is like an eclectic group of people that are highly open and well, as far as judging against other forms of people in the world. We’re definitely at that point because we’re in this offering state of being or curious state of being, I guess might be better. That it allows a lot of things to come through, and that’s exciting to me.

Natascha: Kind of like they’re creating something new in these communities. There’s some kind of evolution/ evolving going on.

Roman: I definitely think that there is, but that it’s up to us for being open, because the opposite is also true, where people are being dumb and like, not learning or whatever. But I think that’s part of the fun for me because and what keeps me coming back is because I’m coming back now as an older person that has experienced certain things and like sometimes, I’ll get on my, like, flow where, like, I already know every conversation. [Natascha: Oh, no] -in a really amazing way. Not that I know the whole conversation, but what people are experiencing. And I feel like if we can develop our language, we can help bring people through a lot of experiences, a lot faster by just communicating with each other. And that’s one of my favorite things at a festival.

Like when I open myself up, I get attracted to these little circles and we get to share the pipe and then talk, and then all of a sudden, they’re like I had this one vision, blah blah, blah blah. I’m like, I’m like, I would look at the person and say, so what? And then they’re like, got their little spirit shattered. But then they recognize, like, what do you mean? Like, well, what are you going to do about it? And then like start talking to people like that and then like really brings this awareness to the person’s trip, like, oh, somebody’s actually listening to me. And then they go even deeper into their thing. And then you experience those kinds of awakenings so you can express your awakening to those people, and then you can stop and start helping guide this awakening collectively. So yes, there is an evolution of sorts like that.

-Roman

Natascha: Like, cool. So, on a global level, what changes would you like to see and how do you channel that vision into your art?

Roman: Well, there’s only one mission. The mission is to recognize that everything comes from within, out, and start not judging the external world or feeling like the you’re going to get validation from the external world. But to really believe in oneself, to be able to provide the offering that you really want to provide to the external world, not the other way around. If we could all start understanding that that’s how we fit in.

I feel like that’s when the big change happens, because so many people are trying to consume what they need to be or trying to acquire a sense of belonging from an external world to validate themselves. And it really screws up the whole mechanism of our existence. Because the universe is also like a, not an ego. So, it’s like whatever we’re creating is like going to manifest, uh, hugely, you know, because it’s like what we’re focusing on at the moment. So, I feel like once we start offering our true gift from inside then the universe reacts and recognizes that it can only provide abundance.

-Roman

Natascha: Lovely. That goes back to giving, giving, giving, giving. I love that so much. What upcoming events can we expect to see you at?

Roman: I’m excited to show my art across the street at Los Bagels next month in Eureka.

Natascha: Arts alive, right?

Roman: Yeah. Yeah. I still got a piece myself together, so I’m like, oh, yeah. That’s happening.

Natascha: Wonderful. What are some of your bigger goals as an artist?

Roman: I don’t know, I would like to write a book. I guess that’s one of my goals, because then I can solidify what I’ve been talking to with every people and just document it to be able to share that idea to other people, and it’s always been a lifelong dream. As an artist, oh, artist book, that’s an accomplishment. Uh, so there’s that. But that’s the physical. But on the spiritual plane, I’m on the quest to the eternal party at the end of time. Cool.

Natascha: I’ll meet you there.

Roman: Well, that’s the that’s the trick you just mentioned there. But I’m talking about the end of time. So, there are parties right. Right now.

Natascha: That’s happening right now. Yeah, we’re in it.

Roman: It comes back from the state of giving. That’s how you tap into it. So, if you’re in a constant state of giving, you’re at the eternal party.

Natascha: I love that. Awesome. Well, Roman, thank you so much for taking the time to chat with us. We’re here at Azila’s Cauldron. You can find it on Instagram at @azilascauldron. It’s been an absolute pleasure. You can find Roman’s Instagram @Synchromystic and a huge thank you as well to Julian for recording this interview. You can check out his work on Instagram @depixture_media. All right. Thank you everyone.

Winter Solstice Simmer Pots

simmer pots, cranberries, lavenders, tangerines, cinnamon sticks, depression, aroma therapy, motivation

Do you have some leftover herbs and fruits from the holidays? I invite you to make a simmer pot with me. In these cold months, pagans may enjoy looking within for some shadow work, hibernating like the bear, and spending time with the people closest to them. There is a flip side to the cold, rain, and isolation; depression, unprocessed trauma, and loneliness may also bubble to the top. When these emotions hit home, it’s time to warm the house with an aromatic simmer pot.

What’s in a simmer pot, you ask? It is entirely up to the potter; you may find yourself mixing cranberries, cinnamon sticks, rosemary, pine, apples, oranges, lemons, roses, or bay leaves. Anything with a smell that is meaningful to you belongs in the pot.

Let’s make it!

Winter Solstice Simmer Pot: For Motivation, Connectivity, and Love

Ingredients:

6oz of fresh Cranberries

4 Tangerienes

3 Cinnamon Sticks

a bundle of dried Lavander

  1. Fill water an inch away from the top of the pot. Boil water.
  2. Cut up Tangeriences. Crush Lavander.
  3. Add all ingredients to the pot. Set an intention with each ingredient. Oranges for inspiration. Lavender for comfort and friendship. Cinnamon for love and spice to life. Cranberries for family and (career/passion) goals.  
  4. Allow it to boil for five minutes.
  5. Reduce heat to simmer for 4-6 hours.
  6. When done, you may save the cinnamon sticks in a plastic bag and put them into the freezer for the next simmer pot.

I have found that this aroma therapy magick is good for getting yourself out of your head, easing depression, and strengthing motivation. The smell is relaxing. It benefits everyone inside the house, bringing them closer together and making them more aware of their senses. The simmer pot is an excellent use of herbs and fruit that are about to expire and can be thrown into the compost afterward. Feeling a little frisky? Try sipping your tea as long as you use all-natural edible ingredients.

Therapeutic Art Class: Perspective 2/8

YouTube Link

Introduction.

Today we will discuss perspective, perspective in art, and cosmic perspective.

Tarot Card: Choose a card and tell me how the card relates to you today.

Quick warm-up; neckrolls, touch toes, etc.

Breath in 12345, Hold 12345, Slowly Release 12345

Breath in 12345, Hold 12345, Slowly Release 12345

Breath in 12345, Hold 12345, Slowly Release 12345

Breath in 12345, Hold 12345, Slowly Release 12345

Breath in 12345, Hold 12345, Slowly Release 12345

Thank the elementals of the North, in your mind’s eye picture elements of the earth.

Thank the elementals of the East; in your mind’s eyes picture elements of air.

Thank the elementals of the South; in your mind’s eye picture elements of fire.

Thank you elementals of the West; in your mind’s eye picture elements of water.

Thank Pachamama, the earth and ground we sit on,

Thank the cosmos above,

Thank yourself for showing up here today. Sit with the bright light that fuels your soul, the same bright light that fires the sun.

Thank the sun,

thank yourself,

acknowledge your light.

Imagine you are in a dark cosmic space,

In a rush, like a rapid river, you come into the earth, as if out of a womb, to the light.

Where are you?

Notice your surroundings, rather it be inside or outside,

picture the town you are in,

the state that town resides in,

the continent that holds that state.

Now imagine the planet that, that continent calls home.

And the galaxy on the planet lives.

Bring your mind’s eye higher to the Universe that the galaxy is a part of.

Take a deep breath and look around you.

You are never alone.

Say it out loud; I am never alone.

Okay, thank you for allowing me to guide you to this place. Sit here for a second, look around you. What do you see?

This is inside you, and every one of us.

Acknowledge the vastness, that exists within you and within me.

The complexity of that cycle is infinite and continues to exist, exist in you and in me.

Now lift yourself into a flying position, and travel back to your planet, where you came out of the darkness and into space. This is your safe space. Do you remember it?

What is around you? Are there people?

Are you in a city? Are you on a mountain? Near a Lake?

Are you around people? What are the people doing?

Are you around animals? What are the animals doing?

We’re going to paint this space, so sit with you for as long as you are comfortable. Explore the details of this space.

Now while you are in this safe space, take a mirror, and look into the mirror. In the mirror is a problem. A problem that has been bothering you for a very long time.

How do you respond in your day-to-day life to this problem?

Do you scream at it?

Throw objects because of it?

Do you experience hate for others because of this problem?

Self-hate because of this problem?

Self-doubt?

Do you feel unrest because of this problem?

Has it kept you up at night?

Today we’re going to accept this problem for what it is. You can’t hate a problem you accept. You can only move forward once you’ve accepted a problem.

After you have chosen to accept this problem, we are going to explore ourselves by using this problem.

Looking at this problem in this mirror, talk to the problem. Have a conversation with this problem. Ask it questions, express your thoughts, and listen to the answers.

We are going to sit in silence for approximately five minutes.

When you feel satisfied with the conversation, we have had with the problem take a pair of scissors and cut any strings that attach you to this problem This problem is no longer serving you are you are ready to move on. After you have cut the cords, say goodbye to the problem and wish it a safe travel into the light.

Place down the mirror and look at the space you are in. Is anything different?

Do you notice more in the space?

What details stand out to you?

Please hold onto this imagery as you open your eyes.

When we experience uncontrollable rage, we view it from the perspective of the self rather than the global consciousness. This doesn’t devalue your rage. Your rage may or may not be valued. But even great leaders have not solved their problems by running into battle, but rather by placing their pieces deliberately and playing their cards strategically.

Now let’s get into perspective in art:

To understand perspective in art we start with the viewer,

The viewer sees infinitely far away, this is the horizon line. On the horizon line is a vanishing point. A single vanishing point is called one one-point perspective.

Now let’s add a second vanishing point, in most cases the vanishing points are slightly off the frame.

Now lower the horizon line, now the viewer is looking up. Add a third vanishing point above off frame. This is called a three-point perspective. We can also take the horizon line and move it up, now we are looking down.

Now take an object and put it far in the distance, the object will become smaller. Bring that object closer and it will be larger.

Take note that there is a relationship between size/ distance and eye level.

Now imagine a river or a car going from angle to another, you see the slope?

Now put that same river, or that same angle into the distance, the line is going to look horizontal. Distance forces horizontal lines.

Distance forces horizontal

Now quickly let’s talk about light and shadow. We discussed this in detail in our last class.

We have the foreground which is closest to the viewer, then the midground, and the background. In the foreground, we can see the shadow of the sun easily. As well progress into the background the shadow will be less. In the foreground, there is a variety of color and values in the shadow. In the midground, the depth of colors are brought to the cyan-blue colors. In the background, there are simple changes in colors. The sky does not go from yellow to blue but rather the yellow influences the blue and the blue fades into yellow. Color happens due to light, so the light family reserves its colors more than the shadow family. Yellows get filtered out because of the atmosphere.

Take your notebook and start sketching your scene. Remember we are focusing on perspective. This will not be a portrait but rather a landscape.

Where are you looking toward the horizon line? Up, down?

Place your horizon line onto the paper.

Are you looking toward the left? the right? the center? Plot your vanishing point. If the vanishing point is a three-point perspective than plot your vanishing points off the frame. Now draw your chart lines.

Where do the buildings, trees, and objects fall on the horizon line?

What objects overlap? Buildings overlapping other buildings? People overlapping the ground? Boats overlapping walls of trees? Not overlapping shapes take away from your scene. Populate your painting. Put basics down, this is a tree, this is a person, etc., and fill the space. We will audit later. Tweak the lines to lead to the vanishing point.

Paint 1.5 hours.

In closing, talk about your painting.

Interview with Jonathan, Kambo Practioner. Read till the end to hear my personal experience with Kambo and the Caboclo Inoculation.

Natascha: Hello. You’ve made it to the Little Lost Forest blog. Today I’m going to be interviewing Jonathan, a Kambo practitioner. After doing my third session of Kambo. Hi, Jonathan. Thank you so much for our session.

Jonathan: Thanks, Natasha. I really appreciate you having me on here today.

Natascha: How are you feeling?

Jonathan: I’m feeling great. I’m feeling good. Nice and grounded.

Natascha: I’m just going to ask you a few quick questions. What inspired you to offer Kambo ceremonies?

Jonathan: Yeah. Beautiful. So. I’ve been an advocate and a body worker and a coach for transformational practices for ten, fifteen plus years. And so, in my experience, when I when I come across a modality or a transformational practice, something that really transforms and causes a huge shift in my energy and in my life, it’s made me really inspired to go study those modalities and then offer them as sacred service to the world as my passion and as my service, my sacred service. So in terms of the Kambo, it’s a heart medicine and it really recalibrates the heart, much like Kundalini yoga and breathwork and those types of things. The Kambo, after the first time I did it, I could really feel the medicine working, you know, physically, emotionally, spiritually, working on many, many different levels to cut cords, cut energetic hooks and cords of things that were not really serving my highest consciousness and my highest evolution. And what really inspired me about this medicine is it’s a fire medicine, and I’m a fiery being and use fire as my element. So that was really inspiring and also as well a non-psychedelic. So psychedelics are great and I’ve really enjoyed using them in my life, yet they’re not the end all, be all. And ideally psychedelics in a way they take us out of our body. And so where I’m at in my life now, I want to be in my body. I want to be quick and strong and fast and embodied in my body. The Kambo [makes shooo sound] drops us directly into an embodied state of self, of groundedness, strength in a really practical and applicable way. So. So that’s really what that’s really what what drew me in to the Kambo was just firsthand experience of a complete shift. A catalyst may have you in my own spiritual growth.

Natascha: Thank you so much for your service. What led you on your spiritual path?

Jonathan: What has led me, just in general?

Natascha: What was the beginning that began seeking out?

Jonathan: The beginning of my spiritual path. Yeah. The beginning of my spiritual path was was nature. So excuse me. I draw a lot of inspiration and power and vitality and reflection and meaning. Just from nature, just from the beauty, the reflection, the immersing my my soul and spirit in nature. And so growing up, I didn’t I wasn’t like an iPhone generation baby, thank God. And, you know, AOL was just like dial up internet and all the things. So anyway, I wasn’t a tech kid. And my parents. Did a lot of camping with me and my brother and sailing and fishing. And so I grew up in a nature based reality. Thankfully, my parents shared the same values and they bestowed those, those values onto me.

Natascha: What unique insights has this path given you?

Jonathan: The path of nature?

Natascha: The path of spiritual awareness.

Jonathan: The path of spiritual awareness. Unique insights. Wow! Hmm.

Jonathan: Well, I would say, you know, studying Buddhism and whatnot in college, just the ephemeral nature of all things, the fact that everything is in a way, temporary. So that includes our pain, that includes our suffering, that also includes our joy, our gratitude, the higher vibratory states bliss that we that the brain really seeks us to experience. But there is a certain. Acceptance. I think that comes with the realization that everything is impermanent. So it brings us what does it bring? It brings us into present awareness that if we’re having a hard day, if we’re having a hard feeling, a hard emotion, that this too shall pass. So really it’s a liberating. It’s a liberating thing for me.

Natascha: And that’s beautiful. In your experience, how has Kambo enhanced your clients lives?

Jonathan: Yeah. Great question. Well, I mean, the Kambo has, as I mentioned before, it’s a it’s a heart medicine and it recalibrates the heart to the heartbeat of the universe and to the heartbeat of the earth. And I think when people come and see me, they come and see me for a variety of different reasons. Candida, depression, addiction. Some people just want to like, supercharge their immune system and not get Covid or something like that. I think that that the Kambo, is a very powerful catalyst for change, and it shows us the areas of our lives where that need attention. And then it asks us, it also shows us what our fears are. In life, everyone has fears, so it shows us these fears in a very real and palpable way. And then it asks us to summon the courage to overcome those adversities and those challenges. And so, in a way, when any individual does their work, when they do the work to change, when they do the work to shift, to transform, to uplift their life, to uplevel their consciousness. Then everybody wins. Then all of the collective consciousness is raised because that individual is choosing to do their medicine work. So I think the Kambo has really been really profound for a lot of people with heart blockages, you know, because a lot of people have been hurt. They’re carrying trauma, PTSD. Some of it’s from this lifetime, some of it’s from ancestral previous lifetimes. And, you know, until that stuff is really looked at and healed, it can be really difficult to move forward in life in a clear and in a purposeful way. And so the the Kambo can really show us our trauma and help us to overcome it.

Natascha: What does the Caboclo inoculation offer?

Jonathan: Yeah. So the Caboclo Inoculation is a modern-day take on taking three sessions of Kambo within a 28-day lunar cycle. So the Caboclo people are a tribe of indigenous that live in Brazil and they left the Amazon to come out into the cities. So they started this tradition with Kambo. And the idea behind it is that Kambo works accumulatively in the system to detox the body, spirit and mind. And so if you do one session, if you do another session shortly thereafter, it’s going to go a little bit deeper and then it’s going to go a little bit deeper. So much in the way that sometimes, you know, an ayahuasca ceremony, if there’s a two-night ceremony, the first night is about working through energetic congestion. That’s maybe outside the energy field or right on the edge of the energy field. And then the next night, the medicine moves more, more inward to the physical because it’s already cleared out the energy, the energetic realm. So in the same way Kambo is, is similar. That way, every time that you take Kambo, you’re flooding your body with beneficial bio peptides, which are short chain amino acids which do an amazing job at detoxing the cells, and also causing white blood cells on the liver to start rapidly, rapidly producing. This in turn greatly enhances the immune system of the body.

Natascha: Where do you where do you see yourself in the future?

Jonathan: [laughs] Yeah great question. Well, I see a family in my future and I see it just continuing to be an educator and a teacher of Kundalini yoga and also retreats like that’s been like a big calling for me for, for many years is how to create and market and successfully pull off. Transformational, immersive retreats where people come and have an amazing experience with nature, food, all these things that are medicines, right? Nature as medicine, food as medicine, breathing, breathwork, yoga, alignments and perhaps Kambo as well. So all the different heart medicines. So that’s what I would love. That’s what I am creating. It’s what I’m working on and would also get me out of Humboldt in the wintertime, which would be lovely.

Natascha: Thank you Jonathan, for sharing your knowledge and watching over me and giving me the medicine. I really appreciate you and thank you to everyone that reads the blog.

Jonathan: Yeah, thanks a lot Natascha. That was that was really a beautiful transformation to witness. So, thanks for showing up for yourself when you do your work. When you win, I win. We all win. We’re all here to do our work. And so, we’re up leveling humanity one day at a time.

Natascha: So true.

My voice was frail during that interview. I had just finished my third Kambo session, which meant twenty to thirty minutes of intense purging and detoxing. I followed up that session by going to work with frog (swollen) lips. So, let’s get into this, shall we? 

What made me take Kambo? I saw the Kambo sessions marketed on a signal group called “What’s going on?” An Arcata-based group. A friend had told me she was into trying it perhaps two years ago. She mentioned they take an incense stick and some medicine and go through an experience. I think this is all she told me. After my sessions, when I told her I had done the Kambo, she said she hadn’t tried it yet. So, I had very little knowledge of Kambo. I don’t even think I researched it before my first session. I knew it would be healing. I was smoking mole bowls (a mix of tobacco and marijuana in a bong) at the time, a nasty habit I had been exposed to in my college years in San Francisco, and I set the intention to stop smoking moles. This was my intention. I had a quick orientation over the phone with Jonathan, agreed to a donation, and met up a few days later in Arcata to a quaint healing facility. He recommended three days of a vegetarian diet prior to the Kambo session and that we do not drink any water for eight hours prior to the session. I went upstairs into a flat with a waiting area, bathroom, kitchen, and two rooms. 

I did a group session, and we were asked to bring two liters of water, a pillow, and a yoga mat. I laid out my yoga mat in front of Jonathan, who sat on his knees next to a drum and a ceremonial serving tray. On the tray was a small statue of a green frog. Another woman joined us. He asked us if we wanted an alignment, and taking turns, he took us to the other room to give us one. By the end of the alphabiotic alignment, he said something along the lines of how your legs are now equal lengths. It felt great, and I’m generally scared of any alignment work.

He had the other woman and myself speak about our intentions, and then we began the ceremony. We saged one another, washing away bad energy. Jonathan chanted and then started by thanking the directions, the participants, and the medicine, and intensively bringing awareness and appreciation to the indigenous of the Amazon and Brazil who had taught this practice. He awoke our higher consciousness and spoke of the sun’s power, burning within our hearts. He called in our ancestors. He asked for there to be a physical reaction that would tell us when they had landed. I had an incredible shift at this moment, calling on the help of my ancestors and feeling their presence with me in the room. After this meditation, he asked us how much medicine we wanted to take. He said, “Think of it like you are doing any entheogen. Do you like to microdose, or are you a heavy doser?” He suggested the most we take during our first session was five. The lady beside me decided on four, even though she said she would usually dose lightly, and I went for five. Jonathan began to burn a coal incense. With a knife, he scrapped off the medicine from a wood stick that came out of a wooden box. The medicine was clear with a slight tint of yellow. He placed the doses onto a quartz crystal. Then he showed us the patterns the burns would be in. I chose a straight-line pattern. Than he asked where we would like the burns placed. The traditional way was for women to get it on the inside of their ankles and men on their triceps. I decided to do it on the backside of my heart, next to the spine. He told me this is a very powerful place to put the medicine. He then burned small dots into my back with an incense stick in a line.

I opted to go first, sitting upright (like he instructed) on my yoga mat in front of an empty bucket. I began drinking the water. Jonathan drummed as I drank and drank. I drank so much water it came up, and I thought I had already taken the medicine. He told me to keep drinking, and I did, and then he asked if I was ready to take the medicine. At this point, I had already spat out water. He then placed the five doses onto my back. I could feel the medicine on my back. I could feel the medicine like a rush inside my body. I didn’t know what to expect. I wasn’t tripping, but I was hyper-aware of my body. A few minutes went by, and it wasn’t so bad. Ten minutes later, I started to feel nauseous. I began to purge, and I purged a lot. Twenty minutes, maybe thirty, after he wiped the medicine off and began a ritual with the lady next to me. I felt hungover, but I was no longer purging. Afterward, I was glad I had followed through with my goal and sent a picture of my frog lips to my friend.

Immediately after my session, I had no cravings for alcohol, tobacco, or cannabis. My liver seemed rejuvenated, and my mind was clear, like my third eye had opened, and I could see things for what they were. 

The following day, I questioned myself. I no longer craved to drink, but why would I want to stop drinking? This wasn’t my intention going into Kambo. I like drinking; it helps me manage my stress, and I have fun with my friends when I drink. Then I thought of all the goals I set out when I was a young adult: I wanted to write a book, do animation, and, most of all, sail the world. Before taking the Kambo, I had fallen into a depression. I told my partner, “I no longer see a future. All the goals I have ever had seem to be distant memories now.” So when I started questioning myself why I wouldn’t want to drink, these thoughts came up, and I told myself that I wanted to see a future again where I’m alive when my kids are old and happy with my partner. I want to see a future where all my dreams come true, and I have worked hard to achieve them. Most of all, I thought, I want to be my best self for my children so they can have a mommy who is present with them and not intoxicated. With these thoughts, I knew I had to contact Jonathan again and tell him I was ready to continue on my path of Kambo by completing the Caboclo Inoculation.

The next session was done a week later. He drove me to the beach, where we sat in a ceremony in a secluded dune. This time, I intended to feed my creativity, become a writer and an artist, and fulfill my goals. Again, I drank the water to his chants, and he placed the medicine in a line on my back—this time, I did seven hits. A beautiful image came to me, one where I was in a prayer pose, and a deer with antlers was over my head, birds and butterflies were coming off my arms, mushrooms, and flowers supported me on the ground, and the frog was in front of me. An elderly male to the left of my head and an elderly female to the right were there to help me get through my processing. When the medicine hit me, I pucked into the sand in agony. I moved away from the watery vomit and rolled in the sand, trying to find comfort in the earth. Jonathan directed me to breathe to try and soothe the sensations. In twenty minutes, he wiped off the medicine, and the ceremony came to a closure. 

After my second session, I went to an EDM show with my best friend at Blue Lake Casino. I drank NA drinks and danced all night. My energy and personality wasn’t less of from being sober. We had a blast. 

In my third Kambo session, I asked myself why am I even doing this again. I’m putting my body through agony, and even though I feel great after, the purging process is so intense; why would I do this to myself? We completed the ceremony, and I left feeling like, well like a frog. (Did you know frogs only jump forward? Not backward?)

During the time of taking Kambo, I had distanced myself from my partner. I felt he needed to be more supportive of me taking on the role of a breadwinner, working long shifts, and not getting the time I craved with my kids. After my third session, I was able to communicate differently with him. I didn’t give him what he wanted to make peace. Instead, I told him what I needed to feel fulfilled and supported. This is straightforward advice to give someone, but doing it can be hard when you feel stuck in routine, and your partner won’t listen to you. I starved him of my attention until he would listen, and when he was ready to listen, I didn’t let him fall back into routine. I asked for the things I needed: time with the kids, time with him, and to be non-competitive with chores and daily practices. Our business has taken off since my Kambo sessions. I feel like Kambo helped me achieve these things, and I hope I can continue moving forward with a clear mind to reach more of the goals I have set out. 

Therapeutic Art Class: Light and Shadow 1/8

As you may have heard, I have started teaching Acrylic Expression classes at Willow’s in Eureka. This is an all age class where we talk about our shadows and it’s relationship to art. Our shadow is the part of us that we deny attention, rather we be ashamed, or not ready to face that the ego isn’t always as perfect as it makes it’s self out to be. Many times the community asks me, where do you get inspiration for your art? And my answer is through meditation. When I sit in meditation I am able to conceptualize things clearly and then I take those ideas and I use them in my artwork. In this class we begin introductions with a tarot reading. Everyone chooses a card and relates that card to their lives, without knowing anything about tarot. You may be surprised how much the imagery makes strong suggestions to what the tarot card means, but almost always the newcomer is able to relate the card to it’s intended meaning.

@littlelostforestart

Acrylic Expression Class on the Harvest Full Moon at Willows in Eureka. Theme of this class was Light and Shadow.

♬ This D.J. – Warren G

Next we sit (or lay) in a 30min-1hour meditation. During this meditation I guide my participants to the otherworld, but first we thank our directions and ourselves for showing up. When were in the other world I create a safe space that is different for each participant. Once that safe space is created we face our shadow selves, this can be negative traits of ours, problems we may be facing day to day, or with other people. We confront this shadow, talk with it, accept it and then let it pass. Then we return to the safe place and take note of all the details within it. Throughout this experience we draw inspiration to paint in our art session. When the participants wake up from the session we go into an art lesson. The themes are posted on the flier. Our first theme was Light and Shadow. I am going to post the lesson plans on here so you can do this guided lesson at home. Feel free to leave me a tip through the link to my etsy store. If you prefer a video I have also linked a video to my youtube channel so you can participate in the guided meditation at home.

Why do I put these lessons up for free? The class may never come up again in the same manner. These classes are experiences that are unique each and every session. I can’t promise that one session will be just like the other. To get the full experience it is highly recommended that you come to class in person. The classes structure will change after the series is done, next I would like to do a class targeted to pregnant moms, and new moms so they can explore their unconscious reactions to motherhood and paint it on canvas.

For this class we offer high quality, golden paints, a small canvas, a journal that you can take notes on, sketch paper and drawing tools, as well as cookies, and beverages.

This class takes place every other week. Below is the flier. Thank you for reading and I hope to see you in class.

Light and Shadow

6:15pm Introduction

Introduce class, who I am, the shadow and light physically and metaphysically and its relationship to self.

Introductions, Names, what brings you to art class today, What inspires you? What are you working on?

Talk about safe space, letting people speak, and not sharing other people’s stories outside of class.

6:30pm Lesson

Ask we progress through this lesson sketching is encouraged.

There is no light without shadow and no psychic wholeness without imperfection. -Carl Jung

The shadow is everything which one has no wish to be. -After Skool

Persona, social mask. Taboo to talk about our hardships and failures. hiding behind the persona.

The shadow is limitations, biases, fears, traumas, oppressed fears, and untapped potential.

The shadow is often seen in dreams. When the shadow is confronted, we can understand our potential and ideal self.

Similar to the Ying and Yang, we need both the light and the shadow to make a whole.

The shadow is seen as the enemy when really it is knowing what bad one is capable of. The shadow only gets hostile when it is ignored or misunderstood.

If working with a partner, set your intention on your relationship with that person; if you are on your own, focus that energy on your own lights and shadows.

Go over Light and Shadow and what that means to you. The shadow self. How our art doesn’t always come out the way we expect it.

Meditation: 7:00 pm

Deep Breathing Meditation

Something that brings us light.

Something that takes us into the shadow.

Imagine the color of light brought to you.

Imagine the shadow color you hide in the box.

Behind every negative action is a positive intent.

Look for the positive intent and reframe it to yourself as an adult. Heal it and acknowledge it so you can move forward.

The inner child but not limited to, lacks needs and has scars. Or at any point in life, these traumas could have occurred.

Rewrite your perception, I have become successful because of these traumas.

Drawn to the light what color do you see?  What is the light? What do you see?

Now hidden in a chest is another color is illuminating from inside. When you open it what do you see?

Now, these two images draw them together in the shape of a Yin and yang.

Talk about what the colors are and the things and what this may represent to you.

How can I redirect the darkness to support the light?

Confront your dark side.

Light From Above

Average Light

Half Tone Light

Average Shadow

Cast shadows- an object casts a shadow: will shadow adjust to object form shades.

Form Shadows- When planes turn away from the light. The shape is determined by the curve of the shape.

Halftone- Inbetween light and shadow. Control the halftone by choosing colors closer to the average light.

Pick two colors on your palette paper. Blend the colors slowly into one another. Also, make a line to depicting colors from white to dark. See how they correspond on the color wheel. Use only these two colors for your painting.

7:30pm Start Painting

Shadows are darker or lighter than light? Darker obviously

So remember shadows are darker than lights…

Talk about your painting.

8:20 Accept and Redirect 

You can’t be in acceptance and resistance at the same time. Truly accept your circumstances in the now. This can pertain to the painting, and this can pertain to real life. Your worst nightmare can no longer be your worst nightmare if you accept it. By accepting this fault you are no longer feeding into resistance.

Perceive how the mishap is a blessing in disguise. We write the narrative of the mishap to paint a brighter future that makes you unique because of your experiences.

Narrow down how to make your future goal meet your needs and discard the situations that no longer serve you.

8:30 Share your work.

8:45 Ending ceremony. 5 min

Against the Grain

Image by John Bauer

After being in the festival scene for ten years, I have been introduced to a fair share of magical creatures. Most women I run into associate with the magical Faye. This includes fairies, pixies, and whatever version of the winged, magical creatures. I’ve never been gentle or graceful. Faye is different from the category I fall under. For me to manifest, I have to call to the Earth, ground down, clear my mind, and call upon helping energy. It has never been a flicker of a wand or a little bit of pixie dust; in other words, things have never come to me easily.

I have realized that I stomp on the ground, dance like a monkey, and sneeze like an elephant. My space is organized for those who can appreciate an earthly way of organization, and my heart is always open until given a reason to be closed, and then it’s hard to get it to open up again. Now trolls are a Norwegian myth. They are creatures of the Earth, and when exposed to the sun, they turn to stone. They live in solitude or small clans. They travel and like to make dark, damp, and forgotten places of the forest their home. They are often criticized for being evil and ugly, but trolls are widely misunderstood. They are also full of knowledge, hope, and adventure. Trolls can come in all sizes but are descendants of giants; hence they are known to be large creatures. Some trolls are forest trolls, bridge trolls, and dormant underground trolls. Hell, I think I started as a desert troll. Dancing to drum and bass and dark house out in the High/ Mohave desert. Spinning fire in the dust, the audience being the stars whom I was sure could see my flames. My point is we don’t all have to be fairies, and we don’t have to give a damn what other people think of us.

As a troll, I have a dry sense of humor but find myself funny, laughing in my head over my jokes. I enjoy kicking up dirt, and before I met my husband, I searched for him at every party, gathering, and event, stomping around till the wee night. This fire kept me going and awake, making me particularly worn and dirty compared to my peers. When I met Jeremy and told him my weird troll idealism, he said he knew I was the one. He is the hermit. He is the gatekeeper. He is a source of hermetic philosophy. When I met him, we fit like a glove; when we are apart, like a puzzle, not all the pieces are there.

I get criticized by the wisest of fairy folk for my trollin’. I also understand where they come from. Why would you call yourself that? Why would you categorize yourself as something dimwitted and ugly? Well, my life wasn’t full of acceptance. Instead, I found myself rejected, pushed away and exiled. The more time I spent alone, the more I found myself, learned to express my weird ways, and came to peace with who I am. The more I come into myself, the less I have to hide, and the more I can turn away from the people who hurt me. It’s hard to let go of the people I have been told to trust, those who are supposed to guide me. Having a partner who loves and accepts me allows me to let go of that crow pecking at my shoulder, telling me I can’t do it, I’m not good enough, I’m incapable. Even more so, he has helped me gain the energy to turn away from the people I trusted to guide me, that instead ostracized and controlled me. By turning away, I have given myself space to love myself, work on myself, and be myself- not what society has told me I must be.

I am coming to a remarkable transition in my life where I can break away from the societal norms that were pressured onto me, the long aboding laws that were carved into my mind and body, and instead make my own story up, my reality—one where I fit into my version of self, can reach my potential and can grow in my art, literature, and well-being. My advice is not to be scared to go against the grain, and when everyone tells you, why would you want to be that? Why would you categorize yourself as something like that? Make your own narrative. Not every troll has to be rude, ugly, and drooling. No, the trolls are working with the Earth to help create the space and magic the fairies live in. Respect all creatures, magical or not, and find your own potential.

Tarot for Beginners and Deck Reviews

Original Art by Natascha Pearson

Tarot has been an impactful tool to explore my reflection and objections of self and a life path guide. Sometimes I will draw cards on my past, and the card will put things into perspective about how I channeled my energy at that time. Other times the cards will map out a future path and remind me of what I should avoid or be wary of or what I should accept and be open to. I interpret the cards, and part of that interpretation is an inside intuition, and that is the psychic within. 

(All links in this article are Affiliate links or lead you to my Etsy. Thank you for exploring and supporting my writing by purchasing through these links at no extra cost to you.) 

Tarot, the suit cards, 21 trump cards, and the matto card (aka “the fool”) were played as a game in the 1430s, originating in Italy and spreading throughout Europe. Roma gypsy people took this deck of cards and began the divination fortune-telling Tarot we know now. They believed Tarot was a tool for psychics to interpret symbols for divination, realization, and understanding. 

I started with tarot cards when I was in high school. I became interested in witchcraft and began with the traditional starter deck Rider-Waite Tarot. I liked this deck because the images represent the card’s meaning more evident than most. All tarot decks come with a book for reference. Studying the book wasn’t something I was drawn to at first. Instead, I would pull a card and read up on it as I went. I would sit with that card and see how it resonates with me and my life at that moment. At this point, I was not ready to read for other people, but I was prepared to pull a past, present, and future Tarot spread. After shuffling my deck, I choose to discard my first card or not to discard depending on what came naturally to me. There is no rule on what is right and what is wrong. It’s about flowing with you’re own practice. Thank yourself for showing up and putting forth effort. It is unimportant if you forget to discard the first card before putting out your spread, but it is an option. If the cards are reversed, it is your choice to take this as an opposite meaning or to think of it as upright. You should take into consideration the other cards surrounding it. Either way, go with what flows naturally to you. Don’t be disappointed to receive reversals; if it’s easier for you, flip it upright. 

Then at Lucidity in 2015, an artist I treasure, Gabriel Welch, let me read his cards using his deck. His deck resembled the Druid Animal Oracle Deck, and I remember pulling some prolific birds that predicted a vibrant ongoing career along with obstacles that could arise. I could have been a better tarot reader, but I remember this as a special moment. He took the cards very seriously, considering the images and meanings. 

Later I met my husband, and we traveled to Shasta, where we lived in the woods, this time for about three months. He had the Egyptian Tarot Deck, it was very worn, and I could tell it was full of his energy. I did not have a tarot deck at this point, and I used his for divination. This gave me a lot of hope and guidance as to what our futures looked like and what I could expect. It even foresaw a struggle we would endure that would change our life paths. I was forever thankful for this deck and my time with it. Even though it wasn’t the deck that called to me as my own, it resonated strongly with my husband. It’s a superstition that tarot decks must be gifted to their beholder, but the magic remains the same if it is bought or gifted as long as the deck resonates with the owner. As you can see, there are many different tarot cards, and the symbols may be completely different. The card’s symbols are meant to bring meaning to the card, but there can be different perceptions of cards, such as the King of Cups. Where someone might see the King of Cups as fulfilled and abundant emotions, they might use a deck with the image of a king with a crown and staff holding a cup full of water and his kingdom behind him, or it might be a man at the beach meditating with a singing bowl and starfish like this Light Seer’s Deck. The tarot reader must choose a deck that resonates most with them so they can get the most meaning from the images. This also helps the reader decipher the card’s meaning without looking at the book.

My current deck is the Mystic Manga deck. I got it for my birthday four years ago and enjoyed the imagery and the manuscript with the description of the cards facing forward and reversed. I made this tarot deck cloth; you can purchase it at my shop. I also really like this Past, Present, and Future spread cloth from Tamed Wild and their beautiful Moon phase deck

Whichever deck you use to explore your deviation ventures, be easy on yourself. I thank you for researching Tarot and spending the time to explore not just this psychic art but also this bridge to you and the otherworld.  

Here is a gift to you for 10% off of any Tamed Wild product

Healing Through Writing

A 10 Week Course by Francesca Lia Block

Francesca Lia Block

I just finished Healing Through Writing, a ten-week writing group hosted by Francesca Lia Block. Francesca has been my favorite writer since I was twelve and read I Was A Teenage Fairy, “a postmodern fairy tale, a teen model’s friendship with a fairy helps her overcome abuse,” (amazon.com) and the last book I finished was House of Hearts, her newest book with themes of mythology, death, and rebirth taken place at the Salton Sea. I always appreciated her work because she writes about taboo, abnormal, and traumatic topics accompanied (or disguised) by magical realism. Her language, details, and symbols will take you to another world, engulf you in its essence and bring you back into your existence more light-hearted. I always wanted to be a writer, and after reading Francesca’s books, I knew why; I had never felt more understood. 

I recommend this course. I finished my BA at Full Sail University in creative writing but struggled to publish. Since I graduated, I have taken a writing class at a community college. In this course, I read and analyzed plenty. I even started a new story, but I wanted more. I had yet to accomplish what I wanted. I came to Francesca with questions about getting a Master’s. If you read my blog post on my BA experience, you know I am overwhelmed with student loans and think college can be risky. She told me about her writing group. I’d known about it but needed the money for it. We worked out a payment plan, and I was ecstatic to dive in. 

We met on Sundays on Zoom and submitted ten pages a week, along with the answers to the questions she provided. She used the twelve questions from her book The Thorn Necklace and other questions for deeper thinking. These questions weren’t just about writing but about you, the writer. I am a brick wall regarding trauma, but even these questions helped me open up and reflect. As a writer, I learned that we are pushed to express our deepest desires, write about our childhood, admit our flaws, and appreciate our gifts. After all, without these things, good characters wouldn’t exist.

So, of course, I struggled. I struggled to open up, struggled to write ten pages, and struggled to give back good critiques, but I got better at these things. I continued writing a story idea I had when I took my first in-person class by Francesca Lia Block in 2016. The story I worked on was a high fantasy that could quickly go wrong since I was an inexperienced writer. I got so caught up in world-building that I lost concrete details that helped the reader relate or the characters come to life. She asked me to write a non-fiction piece for submission in week three. (I will post it on my blog in the upcoming weeks). It was called Somebody’s Giant, about a death in front of our home in downtown Oceanside. This piece was a great release for me, and it was nice to hear the feedback from my peers. Even though writing non-fiction doesn’t come naturally to me, getting support from my group was healing. 

We met every Sunday evening and worked in a group of four. These writers were very talented. For the price of the class and the amount of writing, the kind of people this class attracts are die-hards. Reading their stories changed me. Giving them feedback, getting their feedback, was more than someone close to me could offer. We are all striving for a common goal, all being vulnerable, and all there to support one another in the process. There was little time to chat, but Francesca allowed us as long as we needed to give each other our reports, talk about our work, and get her feedback. We had group exercises and even sat in a brief ceremony for the full moon. Reading their stories changed me more than I can say for my community college class because I was a part of their story. They took in my advice and comments, and it reflected in the upcoming submissions. They trusted me with their secrets, and the sisterhood bond was healing for me. 

In the tenth week, I didn’t submit my work. I’m not perfect, and I got stuck six pages into my chapter and was overwhelmed with work, illness, and stress. I didn’t move forward. Instead, I focused on my reviews and gave my group the best analysis I could for that week. I would recommend two hours a day put aside for this class, Monday through Friday, with a break on Saturday and a meeting on Sunday. I’m not saying it takes that long to write ten pages but you have to map out your chapter/ or short story, you have to answer the questions, review your classmates stories, take notes and execute the notes from the prior week and write your story. If I could do this class again, I would take the questions more seriously and put aside more time to focus.

I wrote 66 pages, 21952 words for my story Discordia, gained notes on an existing short story and a ten-page non-fiction called Somebody’s Giant. I received four notes (including Francesca’s professional notation) on each chapter. I learned how to become a better writer, how to plan and analyze my process, and I was pushed to write by taking this course. Because she allowed me a payment plan, I was able to manage the class fee, and I would 100% retake this class. 

If you are a reader, I recommend you pick up Francesca’s fiction books. If you want to become a writer, I recommend A Thorn Necklace. If you are a writer, take the course. There is nothing to lose and so much to gain. I am so proud of what I have accomplished in just ten weeks. 

Thank you for reading my blog! I am happy to be back. 

(Some links in this blog post are affiliate links.)

Tarot Card Writing Prompt:

Photo by Irina Demyanovskikh

Snapshot. Choose a sing card and write a one-page story that explains or describes what’s happening. Try to add drama. Be imaginative.Tarot for Writers by Corrine Kenner.

Death

A woman of wings, feathers, and beastly qualities emerges from the embers. She held a half-moon metallic staff with a burning red ember at its center. She hovered forward. The darkness of the underworld is colder, the stillness denser, and the vastness hollower than she had ever experienced on Earth. The creatures crawled toward her in fear, pulled by power. They bowed and trembled, pushing through the energy to graze her presence. She stepped up on the night crawlers and lost souls as they traveled into a staircase, throwing themselves over each other as she ascended out of the darkness until a blue light illuminated Pluto’s gate.

“Come with me,” she spoke to the doomed. “You deserve closure.”

Eris opened the gates of hell for all the creatures to return to earth. She flipped the hourglass and froze the stone doors open until the end of Samhain. “May chaos bring peace and understanding.”

The man on the moon sent Pegasus down from the cosmos and invited Eris for tea, and she gladly accepted.

“A shift,” A strong man with skin the color of bark and the face of a sacred ibis spoke.

“Yes, I have emerged,” Eris lit an herbal sacrament and inhaled, and she found a suitable stone like an altar to make herself comfortable on. 

“To make changes, “Eris spoke arrogantly.

The eternal being Yah’s eye squinted. “I make the changes.”

“I have basked in the light of your earthly realm presence and experienced your ‘changes,’ “she spoke unhindered.

“Well, please… indulge me on your human experience.”

“I was not needed,” she flicked the joint, and plants began to grow from its ashes. Yah quickly stomped them out.

“And what makes you think you are needed now?” Yah said dryly and annoyed.

“I thought you invited me for tea?” Eris responded. She felt no need to reveal her skin or to batter her eyes.

Yah snapped his fingers, and the creatures of the moon, blue earth-dwelling characters, set up a table and porcelain arrangement along with silver utensils.

“What are you doing on earth?”

“Creating chaos. There’s a need for that.” Eris said, making up her tea the way she liked it- black.

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Medieval Festival of Courage

October 1, 2022- The Medieval Festival of Courage was hosted by Coastal Grove Charter (K-8th) in Blue Lake, CA. With 50 vendors, two stages, and three unique arenas, the festival attracted a large crowd dressed throughout the ages. I had the privilege of vending with TLC. My children, their friends, our friends, and school and work peers all came to indulge in the festivities. This two-day event spanned from Saturday to Sunday and was a very special showcasing of central Humboldt’s hidden gems.


At $10 a ticket, knights, wizards, queens, and kings entered the gates! Greeted by a sword-fighting arena for children and a few rowdy fathers, took on foam-covered sticks and fought to the death! The sword fighting arena was one of the most popular activities full of children’s rampage. The front stage was bedecked with belly dancers, clog dancers, poetry, and bagpipes. The days were full of thespians and musicians belching out their hearts in a medieval dialect. Surrounding the arena were vendors of jewelry, clothing, food, and wine. The cherry wine flushed the lady’s cheeks and beer overfilled grizzly bearded men’s mugs. Carmel dripped off green apples like witches’ muck, and meats and corn were cooked on open grills.


Over by the paddock was a tent for the kings and queens, dressed in authentic 500-1500 ce costumes excluded from the common folk. A large crowd lined the fences as men on horses jostled, flinging one another from the horse’s back. Between shows, men in armored suits and beautiful women dressed as royalty paraded the horses for the audience to touch. Within this arena were a petting zoo, a miniature pony ride, and even axe throwing! The animals warmed the children’s hearts while leaving their turds along the pathway.


Even though there was a metal fence on the high-top areas, I combined this arena as one. The front entrance welcomed the crowd to a beautiful children’s area and homely vendors. One tent offered toys for the children, blocks to make castles, animals to dress, and playsets decorated with dangling tassels and velvet flooring. A majestically dressed woman read stories from a book and welcomed groups on a story quest with the legend of the Sword in the Stone. Also displayed were gem vendors, free pin-making stations, and a gnome dome, the safe haven for the tired-out child to live in a fairyland.

Then there was “TLC” a non-profit showcasing local artists, including me! I represented Little Lost Forest displaying wands, resin trays, acrylic art, and ruins! I had the pleasure of live painting and reading tarot. My friend Savana showed her unique electroplating copper jewelry, and Patrick his locally made wood tables, mushrooms, and swords. We advertised for our upcoming festival in Manila next month! Behind the metal fence were aerial silk performers with young girls climbing the ropes! Musicians played at a small stage in the back, serenading us with the violin. A jump house, jewelry vendor, and archery station fit with plenty of room along the basketball court. Men, women, and children pulled back their bows and shot toward haystack targets. A few performers free-flowed with staff, poi, and Hoola hoops.

The Medieval Festival of Courage was a well put on event that brought the community together, offered affordable vending spaces, and showcased some top performers. The children ran the show, and Coastal Grove Charter did a good job relating its artistic and out-of-the-box curriculum. More adults (then I think would like to admit) dressed in their favorite garb and transported back in time. At the end of the day, the playful and innocent collaboration of our communities youth shinned through, and I can’t wait to return next year.