halloween

Motherhood in 2024 

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Everything about my daughter is spicy and wild. She is creating a storm, and her actions and movements express the full seasoned attitudes she stomps with. Running down the dirt paths into the Sunny Brea Forest my son takes off down the trail after her. Taking long running strides without resistance. Like Sonic the hedgehog on a track. The idea of siblingship drives my children bonkers. They want to push, pull, resist but they can’t help but to collide back into one another with love and compassion. Being a child even though full of wonderment and adventure it is also filled with a victim mentality, as the children blame each other every step of the way, sissy pushed me, Malakai left the water bottle not me, etc.

Under the Hunter’s moon I felt emotions stir that I had no control over. I felt so passionate about my feelings, I had to act on them, I couldn’t resist. Now in the new moon, I am wondering if I could have held back those feelings. If I was able to suppress them, hide them, until they dissipated. In the new moon I wonder what I could have done differently to not have acted on my emotion, how to be a new me, how to be a different me. I don’t regret having feelings, but I do regret not having the tools, knowledge, and power to have formulated those feelings in a different way.

All Hallows Eve is among us and we are preparing with trips to the pumpkin patch, making costumes, and preparing sweet treats for friends and family. There is nothing better than being surrounded by your best friends, and Halloween is a great time to indulge in doing fun things with the people you love. We went to the pumpkin patch and got lost in the maze. It was a relief to find the exit (I think we exited where we entered, we were that lost.) Our family and friends took their time choosing the best pumpkins. My husband chose mine, an orange and green pumpkin with lots of warts and a twisted stem. I took the kids to the haunted museum, then we went to see the witches on paddle boards. Bonding and spending time with the kids in this manner was very rewarding to me. 

My daughter has been working on her Therian costume. If you didn’t know, Therian’s believe they are a non-human animal species, but are human on a physical level. They may mimic the behaviors of their animal identity. She burnt her hand with the hot glue gun making her costume and I realized even if she thinks she’s old enough (age 11) to do these  things on her own, she still needs adult supervision. My son also wanted an animal costume to match his sisters. He got a wolf tail and ears, we’re going to make it out to look like Max from Where the Wild Things Are. 

I’ve been sharing with my best friend/ roommate ideas for Halloween dishes. Dishes like corn fritters, pumpkin cake pops, stuffed sweet and savory butternut squash (stuffed with chicken, brussels sprouts, and beets,) pumpkin cheesecake cookies, and honey lavender white chocolate truffles. I’m fascinated with all the good recipes we can find on the internet. 

On that note, my roommate cooks the best meals. He makes fish, fresh pizza, and the best tasting quinoa. I am constantly so busy from work and childcare that I can’t always perform as the best cook. But I want to cook like my roommate. I want to dedicate time in the kitchen. I want to enjoy the work. I love being a mom but it’s taxing. To find the balance that offers my children the best life possible and the healthiest options.

Last of all childcare for toddlers; It is so scary to put your children in the hands of someone else. As a substitute teacher I strive to give the kids the best experience possible. The experience I want my children to have while I’m away. Part of me doesn’t want to return to work in the New Year. I’d rather stay home with my children, so I know they are safe. Work on cooking and home life. To become a better writer and artist by dedicating time at home. My mom was a stay-at-home mom till I was four. My son doesn’t have to attend school for another year. Yet, childcare has a lot to offer too. Will I be able to work with him on his education, give him the socializing skills the school offers, and the play structure? Will I be able to keep my calm as a stay-at-home mother, or will it be a burden on my child’s and my relationship? Is there a hybrid version (stay-at-home mom + daycare) that won’t make me feel obligated to be at work? Coming to the end of the year I wonder what I can do to better my child’s lives. 


Therapeutic Art Class: Light and Shadow 1/8

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As you may have heard, I have started teaching Acrylic Expression classes at Willow’s in Eureka. This is an all age class where we talk about our shadows and it’s relationship to art. Our shadow is the part of us that we deny attention, rather we be ashamed, or not ready to face that the ego isn’t always as perfect as it makes it’s self out to be. Many times the community asks me, where do you get inspiration for your art? And my answer is through meditation. When I sit in meditation I am able to conceptualize things clearly and then I take those ideas and I use them in my artwork. In this class we begin introductions with a tarot reading. Everyone chooses a card and relates that card to their lives, without knowing anything about tarot. You may be surprised how much the imagery makes strong suggestions to what the tarot card means, but almost always the newcomer is able to relate the card to it’s intended meaning.

@littlelostforestart

Acrylic Expression Class on the Harvest Full Moon at Willows in Eureka. Theme of this class was Light and Shadow.

♬ This D.J. – Warren G

Next we sit (or lay) in a 30min-1hour meditation. During this meditation I guide my participants to the otherworld, but first we thank our directions and ourselves for showing up. When were in the other world I create a safe space that is different for each participant. Once that safe space is created we face our shadow selves, this can be negative traits of ours, problems we may be facing day to day, or with other people. We confront this shadow, talk with it, accept it and then let it pass. Then we return to the safe place and take note of all the details within it. Throughout this experience we draw inspiration to paint in our art session. When the participants wake up from the session we go into an art lesson. The themes are posted on the flier. Our first theme was Light and Shadow. I am going to post the lesson plans on here so you can do this guided lesson at home. Feel free to leave me a tip through the link to my etsy store. If you prefer a video I have also linked a video to my youtube channel so you can participate in the guided meditation at home.

Why do I put these lessons up for free? The class may never come up again in the same manner. These classes are experiences that are unique each and every session. I can’t promise that one session will be just like the other. To get the full experience it is highly recommended that you come to class in person. The classes structure will change after the series is done, next I would like to do a class targeted to pregnant moms, and new moms so they can explore their unconscious reactions to motherhood and paint it on canvas.

For this class we offer high quality, golden paints, a small canvas, a journal that you can take notes on, sketch paper and drawing tools, as well as cookies, and beverages.

This class takes place every other week. Below is the flier. Thank you for reading and I hope to see you in class.

Light and Shadow

6:15pm Introduction

Introduce class, who I am, the shadow and light physically and metaphysically and its relationship to self.

Introductions, Names, what brings you to art class today, What inspires you? What are you working on?

Talk about safe space, letting people speak, and not sharing other people’s stories outside of class.

6:30pm Lesson

Ask we progress through this lesson sketching is encouraged.

There is no light without shadow and no psychic wholeness without imperfection. -Carl Jung

The shadow is everything which one has no wish to be. -After Skool

Persona, social mask. Taboo to talk about our hardships and failures. hiding behind the persona.

The shadow is limitations, biases, fears, traumas, oppressed fears, and untapped potential.

The shadow is often seen in dreams. When the shadow is confronted, we can understand our potential and ideal self.

Similar to the Ying and Yang, we need both the light and the shadow to make a whole.

The shadow is seen as the enemy when really it is knowing what bad one is capable of. The shadow only gets hostile when it is ignored or misunderstood.

If working with a partner, set your intention on your relationship with that person; if you are on your own, focus that energy on your own lights and shadows.

Go over Light and Shadow and what that means to you. The shadow self. How our art doesn’t always come out the way we expect it.

Meditation: 7:00 pm

Deep Breathing Meditation

Something that brings us light.

Something that takes us into the shadow.

Imagine the color of light brought to you.

Imagine the shadow color you hide in the box.

Behind every negative action is a positive intent.

Look for the positive intent and reframe it to yourself as an adult. Heal it and acknowledge it so you can move forward.

The inner child but not limited to, lacks needs and has scars. Or at any point in life, these traumas could have occurred.

Rewrite your perception, I have become successful because of these traumas.

Drawn to the light what color do you see?  What is the light? What do you see?

Now hidden in a chest is another color is illuminating from inside. When you open it what do you see?

Now, these two images draw them together in the shape of a Yin and yang.

Talk about what the colors are and the things and what this may represent to you.

How can I redirect the darkness to support the light?

Confront your dark side.

Light From Above

Average Light

Half Tone Light

Average Shadow

Cast shadows- an object casts a shadow: will shadow adjust to object form shades.

Form Shadows- When planes turn away from the light. The shape is determined by the curve of the shape.

Halftone- Inbetween light and shadow. Control the halftone by choosing colors closer to the average light.

Pick two colors on your palette paper. Blend the colors slowly into one another. Also, make a line to depicting colors from white to dark. See how they correspond on the color wheel. Use only these two colors for your painting.

7:30pm Start Painting

Shadows are darker or lighter than light? Darker obviously

So remember shadows are darker than lights…

Talk about your painting.

8:20 Accept and Redirect 

You can’t be in acceptance and resistance at the same time. Truly accept your circumstances in the now. This can pertain to the painting, and this can pertain to real life. Your worst nightmare can no longer be your worst nightmare if you accept it. By accepting this fault you are no longer feeding into resistance.

Perceive how the mishap is a blessing in disguise. We write the narrative of the mishap to paint a brighter future that makes you unique because of your experiences.

Narrow down how to make your future goal meet your needs and discard the situations that no longer serve you.

8:30 Share your work.

8:45 Ending ceremony. 5 min