We prepare our bodies and minds for birth for nine months, but what about our birthing space?
Giving birth at home gave me time to prepare my birthing space. A popular question during my pregnancy was, where are you going to give birth? I imagined in the bathtub or on all fours in the bathroom. My mom foresaw me giving birth in the bedroom- and that’s where it happened. Regardless of where you give birth, in the hospital, or at home, starting to prepare your birthing space can begin right away. Even though nothing will ever go perfectly to plan, making these items and putting energy into your birthing space will help prepare you and comfort you for when the time comes.
As soon as I decided to make the bathroom my birthing space, I began my south-facing water shrine, and I knew I had to do something about the lights. I am not a fan of fluorescent light. We switched out the mirror lights with blue LEDs for an aquatic mood. When I went into labor, it was still light outside, but we still like the blue lights. I painted Circus Lion Malakai on the shelf. I got a fern, a common plant that grows under Redwoods, and a beautiful blue vase (which ended up not being practical.) A few candles and a vintage starfish mirror made up the rest of my south-facing alter.
To prepare my daughter, Halaya, for the birth of her brother, I had her read “Kid’s Book to Welcome a New Baby” by Barbara Collman. One of the activities was to make welcome signs for the baby, and a baby is sleeping sign. Halaya miss understood the “baby is sleeping” sign and wrote, “Malakai go to sleep!” I love the “Welcome to the World Malakai” sign she made. I smile every time I pass it. After having the baby, you have to bring him into his body. Stretch him out, move around for him. I feel like these signs are another way of welcoming him into his body by acknowledging his presence.
For my baby shower, I orchestrated prayer flags. Prayer flags are a sentence or two welcoming a baby into the world from the book Birthing from Within by Pam England and Rob Horowitz. Everyone reacted differently to the prayer flags and uniquely wrote their flags. It was heartwarming to hear what everyone had to contribute to Malakai’s coming, and it helped me feel supported by a network of friends and family. Later in life, Malakai will also appreciate the people who supported him in his journey into the world.
It was eight days after my estimated due date, and the whole house was getting ansie. I had all the time in the world, but feeling like you could pop any minute is distracting. There was this little art project I wanted to do for my birthing space inspired by a decoration in the window of the downtown clothing store, Belle Starr.
My mom and daughter were buzzing around me like frantic bees, so I bought different-sized ribbons and used a wreath base from two Christmases ago and had them work together on this octopus. It ended up being a bonding project that they were both proud of. At first, we hung it in the bathroom, and it looked beautiful with the blue light, but I had my husband remove it once the rushes became too intense. Now, this birthapus is hanging in the art room.
This picture was gifted to me by a mother friend friend, Mikaela. I found it entirely appropriate for my birthing space and felt I could use this mandala to meditate through my rushes. The painting was looking out for me and supported my journey into motherhood.
Last but not least the mobile I made for Malakai that I hung over the bed where I actually gave birth. This mobile took me two tries and hours of a DYI Mobile Macrame Youtube video with a tedious Christmas carol playing in the background. This mobile represents dreams and he loves looking up at it.
Even if you don’t give birth in your birthing space, preparing yourself with comfort items to help with the rushes and set a comfortable mood will allow you to ease your birthing experience. Also, having a humidifier with your favorite essential oils will calm the mind. Stimulating all the senses in positive ways can help with birth! Planning your birthings space ahead of time helps prepare your mind, so you can enjoy the ride.
I had an amazing at-home birthing experience last week, and out of it came a beautiful baby and the life-giving placenta. The placenta is responsible for providing oxygen to the baby, discarding waste, and giving nutrients. The umbilical cord comes from the placenta and is attached to the baby’s belly. The placenta, bloody and bag-like, also resembles the tree of life within its design. Even though one can consume the placenta, I choose to plant it in a tree. My doula offered to do a placenta print, and so we did!
Tree of Life within the Placenta
Before I get to the placenta, I would like to talk about my experience with the doula.
My doula, Sarah with Sacred Cycle Doula, gave me pregnancy tea to help induce labor and support my immune system. Sarah (https://www.sacredcyclesdoula.com/) picked me up two days before my birth to take me on a walk on the beach. I expressed my insecurities, and we spent the time getting to know each other at the Samoa Dunes in Humboldt County. A doula is an emotional support person during birth. She helped me with my breathing during labor. Afterward, she helped me with my milk production by offering me a bulk serving of a soup made from coconut, sweet potato, and nettle. This sweet porridge-like meal worked wonders, and after a few days, with the help of Mother’s Milk Tea, my milk was abundant.
The day after my birth, we took the placenta out of the fridge and placed it on a chux pad to make the print. Using the blood still in the ziplock bag, she painted the placenta with it and, with a large drawing paper, she made a perfect print of the placenta that helped support, feed, and nourish my baby.
Placenta Print
I knew I wanted to plant my placenta. I initially was drawn to a lemon tree, but I couldn’t find one anywhere local in late summer. I settled with a Mutsu, green apple tree. I bought a large pot to put it in until we have found a permanent home. My husband, the farmer, filled the bottom of the pot with Fox Farm Soil. We placed the placenta inside and added another layer of soil before adding the tree so that the organ wasn’t directly underneath the tree. Then, we filled the rest of the pot up and watered it lightly.
Placenta in Apple Tree
The tree symbolizes the tree of life reflected on the placenta, as well as the journey ahead of my baby boy. It also resembles the change of the seasons that will make its leaves transition in color which will fall and regrow. The tree will provide fruit that helps nourish and feed its community, as I hope my son will foster to his. These are the reasons I choose to plant my placenta. Please comment below with what you did with yours!
Check out my “Unassisted” Birth Plan I wrote at 18weeks for a complete perspective of my birthing experience.
IG: the_glowing_expectant
I never thought the words “I do” would follow me beyond eloping. At the peak of my transition, I shouted, I couldn’t do it any longer, and my husband said, “Remember, your body is made to give birth,” and I responded, “I do.” After that, I knew I could do it.
My contractions started around 4 am on August 10th. My mom, Sascha, was visiting from San Diego. My due date was August 2nd, and I was now ten days late. As a first-time birther, I didn’t know what to expect. I laid in bed, and when I felt myself dilating, I went to the bathroom. Going back and forth would go on for the remainder of the morning. I texted my midwife at 7:32 am, “Feeling contractions. I think today’s the day. I’ll see you at one.” We had a scheduled visit for that afternoon, and I thought I’d ride the waves until then. My daughter, Halaya, stayed home from her school camp, and my mom prepared the house and catered to my needs.
When the midwife, Jami, came, I had her check my dilation. I was at 2cm, and she told me I was doing great as I paced the room and bounced on my birth ball. Her assistant, Elise, helped her bring in supplies and set up the bed with a mattress cover and sheets. They told me they had a 3 pm prenatal visit and that, as a first-time birther, I shouldn’t expect to have the baby until later that night or possibly the following day. They reassured me that they would stay locally and to call them when the contractions were stronger. Elise told me as she left to call Sarah, the doula, in a few hours if I needed help.
Sarah is a newer doula and was offering her services for the experience. I called her around 3:15 pm. It was hard for me to talk in between contractions, and I asked her to come within the hour. She got to my house at 4:05 pm, and I was in between being on all fours and the toilet. I was internalized and not speaking clearly. Sarah offered me water, broth, and labor-aid in between contractions, from which I could take only a few sips. I was throwing up and having a hard time keeping anything down. They were about three minutes apart when she timed my transitions, lasting about a minute and in a pattern. She would tell me later that they progressed very quickly from the time she was there. I yelled at her that I felt the need “to shit.” I went as far as asking her if the baby was coming out of my ass.
When I sat on the toilet again, I felt the need to push and a lot of pressure. I held onto my surroundings which was a sign to Sarah that I had the need to bear down and that it was time to call the midwife. I responded fiercely, “Call the fucking midwife.” That’s when the mucus plug came out.
Sarah said with beautiful big brown eyes that I needed to pant. We began to pant together. She asked me if I would get into the tub, and a little resiliently, I did so. There was a moment when I sunk into the tub, and I got back onto all fours when I felt the next contraction. My husband soothed me with kind words and petted my forehead. My daughter also came into the bathroom and kissed me but then left the room at my request. Then again, I sunk into the tub, but I couldn’t do it anymore and wanted out when the next contraction came.
I was back on the floor and saying “Oww” in rhythm while on all fours. My mom suggested that I go into the bedroom, but I couldn’t move and told her aggressively to leave the room. I gave a few heavy pushes, and Sarah told me to try not to push and instead pant while we waited for the midwife. I got my husband to walk me to the bedroom, where I’d have more space.
I got onto the bed, and there was no stopping me at this point. Halaya tried to come into the room, and out of fear, I asked her to wait in her room. With bulging eyes, I looked at Sarah to guide me through my breathing techniques. We did a few breaths out and a long awww sound to get things moving. I strongly depended on her at this point to guide me through my experience. My husband stood behind, waiting for the baby. He would tell me he thought the baby was also coming out of my rectum until he mentally corrected himself. The baby’s head began to crown after a few pushes. I gave a high pitch scream. Sarah reminded me, “lower tones bring the baby,” and I followed her lead. She told my mom to get the receiving blankets. There was a moment I couldn’t see Sarah, and I screamed her name. She returned to locking eyes with me, and we breathed through the rushes together.
Jeremy saw the baby’s head. The baby’s face turned purple, and he noticed that the cord was wrapped tightly around the baby’s neck. I didn’t feel the need to push suddenly and wanted to rest. My husband told me I had to push, and I responded that I did not. Sarah reiterated that it was vital for me to continue pushing at this time, and I did so.
Jeremy grabbed Malakai as he was sliding out at 5:01 pm. He said the baby had mucus draining from his nose. He untwisted the cord instinctually. There was a lot of blood, and the concern to call 911 arose. Sarah asked Jeremy and me, and we both rejected. The baby was behind me from in between my legs. J held the baby on its stomach to get it to sputter out the fluid. The baby was limp, and I requested they bring the baby back through my legs and onto my chest. I immediately swiped his mouth for mucus and patted the baby on the back. Malakai began to cry softly and was finally coming into his body. As I laid on the bed with my newborn, Sarah offered me a shepherd’s purse tincture to help stop the bleeding.
We all took a deep breath, and the midwife came about 5 minutes later. I was hemorrhaging, but I felt relieved that my baby was in my arms and we were all alive. Jami and Elise came into the room, shocked to see us all sitting calmly on the bed with a newborn baby. My mom got Halaya and brought her into the room. She was able to greet her new baby brother. Halaya smiled with excitement and gave baby and me a kiss on the forehead.
Jami gave me a shot to help with the blood loss. There was no tearing and I accredit it to a constant burning sensation that caused me to massage my labia frequently. After about 15 minutes, Jami recommended I sat on a stool and pushed out the rest of the placenta. I was uncomfortable, but shortly after squatting, it ejected out. After the cord stopped pulsing, we got two black candlesticks from my altar. Jeremy and I burned the cord together. Halaya watched while we sang tunes and waited for the cord to burn, which took about 5-8 minutes. Once the cord was burnt, we had a chance to settle, and Elise took the baby’s vitals. Halaya listened to the baby’s heart and lungs, and Elise weighed him at 7lbs 12 oz and his height to be 21 inches. He had long fingers and large feet.
Looking at my baby in my arms was so fulfilling. I said to Sarah that Malakai had an old soul. His cues warmed the room, and we all sat awe-stricken as the baby looked around at his new world. It took him a while to latch, but Jami ensured he did so before leaving the room. I filled my peri bottle with a homemade sitz bath extract and used it to soothe myself when I used the restroom.
Everyone went home before 8:15 pm, and we had the rest of the evening to enjoy as a family. My mom made eggrolls. Halaya held her little brother, and my mom sat with him on the rocking chair. We all reminisced about the excitement of the birth. We were all impressed with J’s quick actions to unwrap the umbilical cord, and my mom expressed her fear when she saw his purple face. I would look back on the helping hand Sarah offered me and the deep connection I felt with her as she helped me ride the waves of my birthing experience. In the end, our baby boy came out alive and well.
That night Malakai nursed for what seemed like hours. We tried to put him in the bassinet, but he wouldn’t have it. We moved him from the bassinet to the dock-a-tock in between us on the bed. He cried, forcing me to hold him on my chest as I tried not to drift off to sleep. He took a handful of loaded poops, a tar-like dark brown. Around 4 am when everyone was on cloud 9, I put him back in the dock-a-tock, cuddled next to my husband, and slept for a few hours.
I appreciate everyone that contributed and was so proud of my home birth experience. Reading all the books prepared me not to be afraid and ride my contractions’ waves. I wouldn’t give it up for the world. And even though they say your birth never goes as you planned, my birth unexpectedly went exactly as I had wanted.
If you are a Humboldt local here are my recommendations for birthing assisstants:
All of these woman were incredibly helpfully and I highly recommend their services for a spiritual and centered birthing experience.
Little Lost Forest 