August 10, 2021

Birthing Story

Warning *Nudity and Adult Content*

Check out my “Unassisted” Birth Plan I wrote at 18weeks for a complete perspective of my birthing experience.

IG: the_glowing_expectant

I never thought the words “I do” would follow me beyond eloping. At the peak of my transition, I shouted, I couldn’t do it any longer, and my husband said, “Remember, your body is made to give birth,” and I responded, “I do.” After that, I knew I could do it.

My contractions started around 4 am on August 10th. My mom, Sascha, was visiting from San Diego. My due date was August 2nd, and I was now ten days late. As a first-time birther, I didn’t know what to expect. I laid in bed, and when I felt myself dilating, I went to the bathroom. Going back and forth would go on for the remainder of the morning. I texted my midwife at 7:32 am, “Feeling contractions. I think today’s the day. I’ll see you at one.” We had a scheduled visit for that afternoon, and I thought I’d ride the waves until then. My daughter, Halaya, stayed home from her school camp, and my mom prepared the house and catered to my needs.

When the midwife, Jami, came, I had her check my dilation. I was at 2cm, and she told me I was doing great as I paced the room and bounced on my birth ball. Her assistant, Elise, helped her bring in supplies and set up the bed with a mattress cover and sheets. They told me they had a 3 pm prenatal visit and that, as a first-time birther, I shouldn’t expect to have the baby until later that night or possibly the following day. They reassured me that they would stay locally and to call them when the contractions were stronger. Elise told me as she left to call Sarah, the doula, in a few hours if I needed help.

Sarah is a newer doula and was offering her services for the experience. I called her around 3:15 pm. It was hard for me to talk in between contractions, and I asked her to come within the hour. She got to my house at 4:05 pm, and I was in between being on all fours and the toilet. I was internalized and not speaking clearly. Sarah offered me water, broth, and labor-aid in between contractions, from which I could take only a few sips. I was throwing up and having a hard time keeping anything down. They were about three minutes apart when she timed my transitions, lasting about a minute and in a pattern. She would tell me later that they progressed very quickly from the time she was there. I yelled at her that I felt the need “to shit.” I went as far as asking her if the baby was coming out of my ass.

When I sat on the toilet again, I felt the need to push and a lot of pressure. I held onto my surroundings which was a sign to Sarah that I had the need to bear down and that it was time to call the midwife. I responded fiercely, “Call the fucking midwife.” That’s when the mucus plug came out.

Sarah said with beautiful big brown eyes that I needed to pant. We began to pant together. She asked me if I would get into the tub, and a little resiliently, I did so. There was a moment when I sunk into the tub, and I got back onto all fours when I felt the next contraction. My husband soothed me with kind words and petted my forehead. My daughter also came into the bathroom and kissed me but then left the room at my request. Then again, I sunk into the tub, but I couldn’t do it anymore and wanted out when the next contraction came.

I was back on the floor and saying “Oww” in rhythm while on all fours. My mom suggested that I go into the bedroom, but I couldn’t move and told her aggressively to leave the room. I gave a few heavy pushes, and Sarah told me to try not to push and instead pant while we waited for the midwife. I got my husband to walk me to the bedroom, where I’d have more space.

I got onto the bed, and there was no stopping me at this point. Halaya tried to come into the room, and out of fear, I asked her to wait in her room. With bulging eyes, I looked at Sarah to guide me through my breathing techniques. We did a few breaths out and a long awww sound to get things moving. I strongly depended on her at this point to guide me through my experience. My husband stood behind, waiting for the baby. He would tell me he thought the baby was also coming out of my rectum until he mentally corrected himself. The baby’s head began to crown after a few pushes. I gave a high pitch scream. Sarah reminded me, “lower tones bring the baby,” and I followed her lead. She told my mom to get the receiving blankets. There was a moment I couldn’t see Sarah, and I screamed her name. She returned to locking eyes with me, and we breathed through the rushes together.

Jeremy saw the baby’s head. The baby’s face turned purple, and he noticed that the cord was wrapped tightly around the baby’s neck. I didn’t feel the need to push suddenly and wanted to rest. My husband told me I had to push, and I responded that I did not. Sarah reiterated that it was vital for me to continue pushing at this time, and I did so.

Jeremy grabbed Malakai as he was sliding out at 5:01 pm. He said the baby had mucus draining from his nose. He untwisted the cord instinctually. There was a lot of blood, and the concern to call 911 arose. Sarah asked Jeremy and me, and we both rejected. The baby was behind me from in between my legs. J held the baby on its stomach to get it to sputter out the fluid. The baby was limp, and I requested they bring the baby back through my legs and onto my chest. I immediately swiped his mouth for mucus and patted the baby on the back. Malakai began to cry softly and was finally coming into his body. As I laid on the bed with my newborn, Sarah offered me a shepherd’s purse tincture to help stop the bleeding.

We all took a deep breath, and the midwife came about 5 minutes later. I was hemorrhaging, but I felt relieved that my baby was in my arms and we were all alive. Jami and Elise came into the room, shocked to see us all sitting calmly on the bed with a newborn baby. My mom got Halaya and brought her into the room. She was able to greet her new baby brother. Halaya smiled with excitement and gave baby and me a kiss on the forehead.

Jami gave me a shot to help with the blood loss. There was no tearing and I accredit it to a constant burning sensation that caused me to massage my labia frequently. After about 15 minutes, Jami recommended I sat on a stool and pushed out the rest of the placenta. I was uncomfortable, but shortly after squatting, it ejected out. After the cord stopped pulsing, we got two black candlesticks from my altar. Jeremy and I burned the cord together. Halaya watched while we sang tunes and waited for the cord to burn, which took about 5-8 minutes. Once the cord was burnt, we had a chance to settle, and Elise took the baby’s vitals. Halaya listened to the baby’s heart and lungs, and Elise weighed him at 7lbs 12 oz and his height to be 21 inches. He had long fingers and large feet.

Looking at my baby in my arms was so fulfilling. I said to Sarah that Malakai had an old soul. His cues warmed the room, and we all sat awe-stricken as the baby looked around at his new world. It took him a while to latch, but Jami ensured he did so before leaving the room. I filled my peri bottle with a homemade sitz bath extract and used it to soothe myself when I used the restroom.

Everyone went home before 8:15 pm, and we had the rest of the evening to enjoy as a family. My mom made eggrolls. Halaya held her little brother, and my mom sat with him on the rocking chair. We all reminisced about the excitement of the birth. We were all impressed with J’s quick actions to unwrap the umbilical cord, and my mom expressed her fear when she saw his purple face. I would look back on the helping hand Sarah offered me and the deep connection I felt with her as she helped me ride the waves of my birthing experience. In the end, our baby boy came out alive and well.

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That night Malakai nursed for what seemed like hours. We tried to put him in the bassinet, but he wouldn’t have it. We moved him from the bassinet to the dock-a-tock in between us on the bed. He cried, forcing me to hold him on my chest as I tried not to drift off to sleep. He took a handful of loaded poops, a tar-like dark brown. Around 4 am when everyone was on cloud 9, I put him back in the dock-a-tock, cuddled next to my husband, and slept for a few hours.

I appreciate everyone that contributed and was so proud of my home birth experience. Reading all the books prepared me not to be afraid and ride my contractions’ waves. I wouldn’t give it up for the world. And even though they say your birth never goes as you planned, my birth unexpectedly went exactly as I had wanted.

If you are a Humboldt local here are my recommendations for birthing assisstants:

All of these woman were incredibly helpfully and I highly recommend their services for a spiritual and centered birthing experience.

Midwife: Jami Johnson: (707) 272-0339

Doula: Jessika Shinn: (503) 791-7330

Doula: Sarah @ Sacred Cycles Doula: (386) 882-1652

Masseuse: Audrie Kuhl @ Subliminal Sensation: (707) 296-4806