The so-called, “Billion Dollar Industry”

The Unjust Pay System in the Marijuana Industry

As an observer of the marijuana community, a question pops up all too often that has everyone wondering, where is all the money at? We have hard-working employees, males, and females, who work long hours, which are not afraid to get their hands dirty. So, where is the profit with all the planting? As COVID brings marijuana sales to a record high while dispensaries remain open as an essential business, why do farm workers remain at the bottom of the pay scale?

The real reason the grower and the owner can’t see eye to eye. A worker goes on to a farm, helps them turn their harvest to an abundant green yield, and in the end, their pay comes late, scarce, and more work is expelled without a full payout up to that point. Bonuses are promised but never seen. What once was a decent paying job, the worker finds themselves waiting for their pay, unmotivated to work, and easily replaceable with the next willing participant. Where did this mom and pops, family valued, hippie ‘ love and peace,’ grow community, one might think they are stepping into, go? It went to corporate America.

Yes, the men with ties and suits are to blame. Even if the owner thinks they are the big shoot, spending outside of their means on music equipment, big cars, and overextended vacations, here’s the catch- that money isn’t there. Corporate America is making the so-called billions in the billion-dollar industry. So much of the profit goes into taxes that the once hippie-dippie landowner is now hanging with rappers, sporting an image they can’t afford. While white market owners can’t value their pounds half of what the black market can, none of this money dwindles to the grower. The lead grower is being worked to the bone, and his profits directly reflect the owner’s value in people. As the quality withers, prices and pay drop slowly, the farmworkers starve while the owner keeps his appearance.

Marijuana was legalized in California in November 2016. Growers didn’t have great expectations for this. It was expected to take away thousands of pot dealers’ jobs by bringing the marijuana industry into businesses. What did this mean to the grower? What many Americans might have assumed would keep thousands of pot growers outside of jail, growers had to face a new reality, now they had to follow the rules, regulations, and worse of all, pay taxes or be subjected to raids and fines. As growers race to get permits, many growers end up taking the easier way out and remaining black market.

So how does this affect the ones growing the weed? White/ Black, “whatever” market, growing weed isn’t like working at Carl’s JR, but the pay of a lead farmer isn’t far off from the income of being hired off the street at a Carl’s JR. The skills of the marijuana grower are being undermined in an industry that is holding onto nickel and dime compared to pre-legalization, where the industry was about helping the little guys out, not using them. Farmers with years of skill are treated like basic laborers, and even the white market players are getting away with not paying their employees what their worth is.

So how to fix this problem? Illuminate the greed and go back to the root. Project owners should appreciate the person growing their weed. We’re not talking about a robot. The farmhand is a human being growing medicinal plants to help people heal. The handling of marijuana influences its outcome, and if we grow weed like we farm our meat, we will all end up glutenous.


Happy Cows come from Happy Farms. Happy Plants come from Happy Farmers.


Staffing companies pocket 20-30 percent of the worker’s pay in exchange for legal paperwork, including paychecks, benefits, and HR work. The farms might have their employees covered, but those employees don’t see the benefits. Their pay becomes minimal, and they are once again replaceable. To solve this, farm owners can’t just be suits and jackets. They have to have humility and care for their workers. Their workers, in return, will care about the outcome of their product. And how do we get the owner to care for their worker? By lowering taxes so that they are not stretched so thin, they too are just looking for the next dollar to keep the farm afloat. Let them keep their facade image, which may never change, but do it so that they can pay their farmer and put food on the table for their families. Then, add a structured pay scale for positions on farms. As the government recognizes this industry, its positions should be recognized and compensated adequately. Like any business, starting laborer shouldn’t be paid the same as long-term workers, transparency about weight and numbers should be available, bonuses shouldn’t just be a dream, and lead farmers should be paid for their skills and knowledge, not the equivalent of a fast-food worker with no experience. Last of all permanent employment shouldn’t be waved in front of staff like a golden ticket, without any winner.

Otters in Trinidad Bay, CA

commons.wikimedia.org

I was thrilled to see otters in Trinidad Bay swimming in a small pack. I thought I saw a family of otters. I have come to learn that they must have been either a female or male pack since this species practices “sexual segregation.” Besides otters being adorable, they help protect the kelp forest. They are a keystone species; without them, the ecosystem will collapse—a genuine threat after otters were overfished in the nineteenth century, skinned for their fur. I can only imagine how many kelp forests would cease to exist if this happened, not to mention the abundant ecosystem in Trinidad Bay. It was an honor to watch these beautiful creatures swimming along the cliff from the Trinidad Pier.

There’s a lot of information about river otters, so let’s do a little river otter 101. 2005 in Trinidad Bay, Scott Shannon observed five generations of otters. As I mentioned before, otters are segregated by gender. The females swim in a hierarchy, while the males live communally and share who leads the team. Little Mama was the oldest of the otters Scott Shannon observed. She died at fourteen years old (breaking a record.) Three out of four otter pups don’t survive outside of infancy. Unlike other marine mammals, otters do not have blubber, so they clean their fur to keep insulated. The otters are hunted for their fur, but the pollution from waste and fishing is a leading cause of death.

Trinidad has a protected, giant kelp forest located at Trinidad Head. The kelp forest is home to thousands of species creating a diverse ecosystem for our fishy friends! Otters eat urchins, which eat kelp and quickly dominate coral reefs. With the protection of the otters, kelp forests thrive. Without otters, the ocean’s ecosystem is not balanced. This aquatic paradise in Trinidad is protected from waste and pollution. Extra precautions are met for the safety of the ecosystem and its otters.

These intelligent animals keep a distance from people after being hunted for generations. Yet, it isn’t unheard of for the youngins in Trinidad Bay to take a liking to people watching. Perhaps the cleanest ocean puppy, otters are animals to love and appreciate. Without them, we may not have the life-giving kelp forests that we see in Northern Humboldt today.

2 Months Postpartum

I struggle as a full-time breastfeeder. I half formula feed (organic) and half breastfeed. I could cry about this, but I try not to. Every mom has a different story, and the best thing I can do for myself is not compare myself to other mothers. I try to do the best I can do.

My baby sleeps in the bed between us. We hold each other tight every night. When placed in the crib, he will wake up and cry till I clean him and bring him back into our bed. His little body cups my chest, eyes closed and mouth slightly open. When he falls asleep before me in the rocker, I have my husband put him in the bassinet, and it takes every ounce of my control not to bring him into the bed with me. Learning separation and independence is a two-way street. 

I can’t seem to find the motivation to leave the house, and my workouts have dwindled to a couple of hours a week in my home. On my IG is beautiful California mamas that have boomeranged back into shape after birth. I know I want to do more, but I feel so tired, unlike the rushes of energy I got throughout my pregnancy. I am a couch potato. 

My postpartum may not be drastic, but some things are different, and it’s taking me a while to adjust. Every moment with the baby is precious, as well as every moment without him. As soon as I put the baby down, I run to the bathroom, grab a cup of tea or get a little bit of laundry folding in. I don’t have a lot of time to sit around and mope.

I need to do more, seems to be the driving narrative in my mind, but there isn’t much to do now. I couldn’t imagine being away from my child for an 8-hour work shift. I don’t know how we’d survive. I need his coos and his touch as much as he needs my breast. I’m left to work odd jobs and particular hours.

My postpartum journey has just begun, but I gladly accept the negatives and the positives as I float through it. I find myself without direction or lacking motivation. These obstacles don’t stop me from balancing being the best mom possible while supporting my family and caring for my oldest. 

I stay sane by utilizing my support team and taking time for myself. I have an old classmate I zoom with weekly, and even though I miss many appointments, we always share our goals and encourage each other throughout the week to achieve them. Family has come to visit and each grandmother has had the magical touch of calming baby down and rocking him to sleep. On a normal day when the baby’s sleeping, I do an hour workout, and I either pause the video or my walk to cater to the baby’s cries. I write down in a notebook ideas, unique designs, or thoughts. I execute art projects, career goals, and personal projects with my family, using the different skills of my husband and daughter to overcome any challenges.Ā 

When the baby wakes, I first try to breastfeed him. I will put on a television show but end up just staring intensely into his eyes. I set up breastfeeding stations with either books, television, drawing tools, and water bottles around the house. I get so thirsty when I breastfeed. 

We work on elimination communication together, and so far, we have been able to catch a handful of pees and a poop. I like that I respond when he makes potty faces instead of letting him “go” in his diaper. It’s a long path, but I’m glad we have begun responding to his potty faces by putting him on a top hat toilet and making the cue sounds. 

At the end of the day, it’s little achievements. I have found myself slowing down incredibly after my pregnancy routine. I can see where this could lead to depression- thoughts that I’m not enough, contributing enough, showing up enough for friends and family. Still, it’s not like that at all.

I look forward to “practicing” traveling further and doing more things with the baby, but for now, the comforts of my own home are about as far as I have taken it.   

Setting Your Birthing Space


We prepare our bodies and minds for birth for nine months, but what about our birthing space?

Giving birth at home gave me time to prepare my birthing space. A popular question during my pregnancy was, where are you going to give birth? I imagined in the bathtub or on all fours in the bathroom. My mom foresaw me giving birth in the bedroom- and that’s where it happened. Regardless of where you give birth, in the hospital, or at home, starting to prepare your birthing space can begin right away. Even though nothing will ever go perfectly to plan, making these items and putting energy into your birthing space will help prepare you and comfort you for when the time comes.


As soon as I decided to make the bathroom my birthing space, I began my south-facing water shrine, and I knew I had to do something about the lights. I am not a fan of fluorescent light. We switched out the mirror lights with blue LEDs for an aquatic mood. When I went into labor, it was still light outside, but we still like the blue lights.
I painted Circus Lion Malakai on the shelf. I got a fern, a common plant that grows under Redwoods, and a beautiful blue vase (which ended up not being practical.) A few candles and a vintage starfish mirror made up the rest of my south-facing alter.

To prepare my daughter, Halaya, for the birth of her brother, I had her read “Kid’s Book to Welcome a New Baby” by Barbara Collman. One of the activities was to make welcome signs for the baby, and a baby is sleeping sign. Halaya miss understood the “baby is sleeping” sign and wrote, “Malakai go to sleep!” I love the “Welcome to the World Malakai” sign she made. I smile every time I pass it. After having the baby, you have to bring him into his body. Stretch him out, move around for him. I feel like these signs are another way of welcoming him into his body by acknowledging his presence.

For my baby shower, I orchestrated prayer flags. Prayer flags are a sentence or two welcoming a baby into the world from the book Birthing from Within by Pam England and Rob Horowitz. Everyone reacted differently to the prayer flags and uniquely wrote their flags. It was heartwarming to hear what everyone had to contribute to Malakai’s coming, and it helped me feel supported by a network of friends and family. Later in life, Malakai will also appreciate the people who supported him in his journey into the world.

It was eight days after my estimated due date, and the whole house was getting ansie. I had all the time in the world, but feeling like you could pop any minute is distracting. There was this little art project I wanted to do for my birthing space inspired by a decoration in the window of the downtown clothing store, Belle Starr.


My mom and daughter were buzzing around me like frantic bees, so I bought different-sized ribbons and used a wreath base from two Christmases ago and had them work together on this octopus. It ended up being a bonding project that they were both proud of. At first, we hung it in the bathroom, and it looked beautiful with the blue light, but I had my husband remove it once the rushes became too intense. Now, this birthapus is hanging in the art room.

This picture was gifted to me by a mother friend friend, Mikaela. I found it entirely appropriate for my birthing space and felt I could use this mandala to meditate through my rushes. The painting was looking out for me and supported my journey into motherhood.

Last but not least the mobile I made for Malakai that I hung over the bed where I actually gave birth. This mobile took me two tries and hours of a DYI Mobile Macrame Youtube video with a tedious Christmas carol playing in the background. This mobile represents dreams and he loves looking up at it.


Even if you don’t give birth in your birthing space, preparing yourself with comfort items to help with the rushes and set a comfortable mood will allow you to ease your birthing experience. Also, having a humidifier with your favorite essential oils will calm the mind. Stimulating all the senses in positive ways can help with birth! Planning your birthings space ahead of time helps prepare your mind, so you can enjoy the ride.

Little Lost Forest Deviation Runes

Guide to using Deviation Runes

Deviation runes are said to have come before time from the center of the cosmos. They were used by Norse and Germanic civilization. The original 18 letter alphabet is told to have been a gift from Odin after he went through nine obstacles that cost him a lot of pain and distress. There are many different tales of how he sacrificed himself by hanging himself and being reborn a higher being. Each rune has a spiritual meaning and was used for writing language as well as mystic purposes. Later this set would become a 23 letter set with an added destiny card.

Choose a set of runes and speak clearly to you. Tad lock them rather in blood or saliva mixed with water and paint and draw the symbol on the rune and then on your forehead. Meditate with the rune and its meaning. Say out loud a spell that works to your liking similar too ā€œI do this as an offering to create a link so that this rune can speak its truth to me.ā€  Or “I name you _ā€runes nameā€, I breathe life into your meaning. To you this name I fasten. As I will it, it shall be.ā€ or “Mote it be.” Finish by breathing toward it. (Bewitched Bemused, You Tube.)

You may use the runes in multiple ways. Use the symbol in your everyday routine either in charm bags, under your pillow, in a window seal or shrine to amplify its energy and purpose. Clear the stones energy before each use either with incense, shaking the bag or with a crystal. 

You can use the deviation runes to ask as single question by pulling a rune. If more information is needed pull out another and place in a row from left to right discarding any runes that are showing a blank face. You can pull three stones for past, present, and future. Again, if more information is needed you can draw more runes for clarification. When casting the bag of stones, empty the bag onto a surface and remove any backward facing runes. Read the runes, taking special notes of any clusters. I prefer to shape them as a circle as you can see I have done in my last blog post.

We are selling sets of runes on the Etsy Little Lost Forest store made from epoxy resin. We can customize front and back colors, and have options to add gold flakes or fine glitter.

Deviation Meanings

The runes are in the order as displayed in this photo.

1. Kenaz Torch/ Luck/ Purging Fire/ Controlled Energy/ Gift for Skill/ Knowledge/ Warmth/ Caregiving/ Intellectual

Enlightenment/ Transformation/ Purification/ Clarity of Mind/ Stagma/ Creative Work

2. Ansuz Odin/ Wisdom/ Ancestor/ the God

Wisdom/ Healing Power/ Occult Power/ Language/ Communication

3. Hagalaz Hail Stones/ Disruption/ The Unanticipated/ Damaging/ Rebirth/ Change/ Protection Thwarted

4. Wunjo Joy/ Comfort/ Blessings/ Wisdom/ Good Reputation/ Friendship/ Happiness/ Success/ Peace

6. Tiwaz War God/ Victory/ Order/ Success/ Justice/ Legal Matters/ Fight/ Will/ Competition

5. Mannaz Evolution of Individual/ Female/ Self Perfected/ Social Standing / Self-improvement/ Communication/

Meditate/ Memory/ Intelligence/ Human Condition

7. Laguz Lake/ Healing/ Life Energy/ Flow/ Water/ Endless/ Terrifying/ Wild/ Dangerous/ Road to Adventure/

Transition/ Aid Intuition/ Influence/ Growth

8. Eihwaz Yew Tree/ Saftey/ Channeling/ Otherworld Communication/ Dynamic and Ongoing/ Protection/ Strength/

Paradox

9. Ingwaz Fertility/ Earth God/ Invoking/ Completion/ Grounding/ Progression/ Life Cycle/ Masculine (Barring fruit)/

Magical

10. Nauthiz Constraint/ a Need/ Defense/ Self Control/ Restriction/ Destress/ Limitations

11. Jera Year/ Sucess/ Harvest/ Year’s Cycle/ Hardwork/ Cause and Effect

12. Thurisaz Thorn/ Protection/ Overcome Resistance/ Weapon/ Barrier/ Rage/ Impulsive/ Losing Control/ Willpower

13. Sowilo Self/ Sun Wheel/ Wholeness/ Vital Energies/ Centering/ Higher-self/ Nourishing/ Clarification/ Illumination/

Journey over Water/ Strength/ Life Force/ Arrogance/ Cruelty 

14. Othala Prosperity/ Possession/ Ancestral Power/ Property/ Estate/ Enheritance/ Sacrafice/ Hardwork/ Skill/ Effort/

Family/ Environment/ Status/ Invoking Ancestors

 15. Berkanu Earth Mother/ Love/ Goddess/ Fertility/ New Endeavour/ Need for Neutering/ Invoking/ Emotional

Stability/ New Starts

16. Gebo Marriage/ Union/ Power Given and Received/ Gift/ Generosity/ Hospitality/ Equal Exchange/ Partnership/

Agreement

18. Isa Ice/ Standstill/ Delaying Defense/ Rest Period/ Stop Slander/ Relaxation/ Calm/ Coldness/ Unexpressed

17. Perthro Fate/ Game Piece/ Future/ Evolving Karma/ Hidden Forces/ Take Risks/ Lighten Up/ Sudden Luck/

Discover Secrets/ Emotions/ Meditation/ Rest

18. Ehwaz Horse/ Trust/ Motion/ Safe Journey/ Adjustments/ Astral Travel/ Mobility/ Prosperity/ Aristocracy/ Working

Together/ Cooperation/ Psychic Journey

20. Algiz Moose/ Friendship/ Protection/ Shielding/ Sharp Edges/ The Hunt/ Protected/ Incompentent

21. Raidho Ride/ Journey/ Quest/ Defense/ Decisions/ Taking Control/ Team Organization

22. Fehu Cattle/ Weatlh/ Good Fortune

Prosperity/ Power/ Creative Energy/ Love/ Growth

23. Dagaz Home/ Breakthrough/ Twilight/ Between Two Worlds/ Invisibility/ Light and Strength of Sun/ The

Awakening/ Enlightenment/ Hope/ Happiness/ Collective Consciousness/ Peak 

24. Uruz Strength/ Physical Health/ Vitality/ Strength/ Courage/ Healing/ Untamed/ Warrior Spirit/ Wild Natural

Energy 

25. Blank Destiny

References

  1. Bewitched Bemused, Aug 26,2020, Youtube, “Into the Runes: How to Charge them and Use them for Deviation.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUFoD4Zk9mE&list=PL2q7eRR0LSt-D7wQ8pdRdMwmtJa86mVWK&index=1&t=1s

How I Foreshadowed my Pregnancy with Deviation Runes

Last November, I went on a date that ended in disaster because the girl’s husband I was seeing was a communist/ Christian who deemed me a trump supporter. But, through all the chaos, she introduced me to deviation runes that foretold my pregnancy. This girl is still on my mind ten months later and maybe what I have left from our encounter is a new fascination with runes.

This unnamed woman and I had gone out a few times before. This time we wanted to include her husband to develop a relationship within the boundaries of their marriage. Unfortunately, I don’t fit in most people’s boundaries, even when I try to respect those lines. Regardless, my friend was visiting from San Diego, and after a few drinks at the bar, we decided to go to their apartment.

For what it was, things started okay. The woman I was seeing showed me her home, and we sat in the living room and talked about her and her husbands lives. He showed me his communist bible, and she showed me her deviation runes. I was far more interested in the runes (maybe this is where I went wrong.) I had never used them before.

She told me a little about them; an ancient Germanic language scripted on stones that Vikings and later Europeans would use for future telling. A set of 24 ruins, this set of small stones are carved and inlaid in gold. I mixed them up in a small tote bag and poured them onto the carpet. She directed me to remove all the runes that were facing upside down. I took the remainders and placed them in a circle, softly pushing them to the closest position. In the end, it looked like this.

I asked the runes what my future would hold. The centerpiece being a foundation rune; Tehraz meaning victory. My story would tell of new beginnings possibly driven by impulsive behavior. Starting from the one o’clock position, I began to read my tale. Feliu, wealth, the first symbol of the set and in my circle. I would interrupt this stone as Love, my meaning of wealth and something I was focused on improving at the time. Rather it be with myself or my family. The second stone is Jers, the rune that means years, cycles, and success. I found myself starting a new practice in San Diego, where I connected with my ancestors in a monthly pagan ceremony that would quickly lead me to moving to Humboldt county.

Isa, correlates to a standstill, and after our move, I reflect on a time when things were so content that it drove me to find excitement- something new. With my partner’s consent, I began to look on Okcupid for a female companion—someone to enjoy my free time with. Mannaz, the following stone revealed a female in my life, the one that would give me these stones I had used to do this reading. When I met her, a fire lit within my heart. She got along with my husband and daughter, and we were able to get away for dinners and walks on the strand. I enjoyed her company so much; her dialect would echo in my mind still to this day.

The runes would predict events that would happen as quickly as that same night, for by the end of the evening, her husband would show distrust in me and what I would perceive as jealousy. The rune Gebo, marriage, is paired with Nauthiz, constraint. I want to say that we live in a world where polyamory is as easy as its imagined. When I read this in the stones, I foresaw trouble in my relationship with the woman, and later on, I would do a tarot reading for her that also foreshadowed trouble. Her husband wasn’t open to my point of view and had no intention of discussing any side besides his own. The night ended in a hot debate that resulted in him asking me to leave.

We could have ended there, but we didn’t. We continued to see each other, and maybe that’s where I went wrong. I didn’t confront her husband but ignored him. The next rune stone is Dagaz, meaning home, breakthrough, and twilight. So much was happening at the time; I was graduating from my bachelor’s program, my husband and I were getting along, and he was supportive of my relationship with my lady friend. His family came to visit, and we were settling into our new home nicely. I was able to ignore the turmoil with her partner and was back to being content and sharing my life with this woman. The next rune is Ingwaz, Fertility. I didn’t know it at the time of this reading, but I would remind her of what the runes had told me a month later when I found out I was pregnant. At first, she thought my partner was trying to separate us by asserting his seed, but I reassured her it was planned, even though I wasn’t sure if I would conceive so quickly. She told me she wanted to work through it. It was a fantastic feeling to know she cared about me so deeply that she would work through such a life-changing event. We shared a romantic night at an Airbnb to celebrate my graduation, but afterward, her husband demanded I apologize to him. When I came over and did so, he did not accept my apology, and I saw no other choice but to break it off.

The last rune is Othala, meaning prosperity but also hard work and family. I was blessed nine months later with a baby boy. Even though the struggle of meeting someone I connected so well with and losing her would take a toll on my heart, the amazement of having a child and a new member of our family filled me with joy. Do I believe in deviation runes? Yes. This reading I did in November was very relevant to my life and forecasted some unknown events. I wish I listened closer and tried harder to keep this lady friend in my life so that we could share the excitement of a newborn and explore witchcraft further together. Perhaps it’s time for another reading. The runes may have something new to reveal.

You can purchase runes at my store or on my Etsy.

Planting the Placenta: How I Honored my Placenta and how it Resembles the Tree of Life

I had an amazing at-home birthing experience last week, and out of it came a beautiful baby and the life-giving placenta. The placenta is responsible for providing oxygen to the baby, discarding waste, and giving nutrients. The umbilical cord comes from the placenta and is attached to the baby’s belly. The placenta, bloody and bag-like, also resembles the tree of life within its design. Even though one can consume the placenta, I choose to plant it in a tree. My doula offered to do a placenta print, and so we did!

Tree of Life within the Placenta

Before I get to the placenta, I would like to talk about my experience with the doula.

My doula, Sarah with Sacred Cycle Doula, gave me pregnancy tea to help induce labor and support my immune system. Sarah (https://www.sacredcyclesdoula.com/) picked me up two days before my birth to take me on a walk on the beach. I expressed my insecurities, and we spent the time getting to know each other at the Samoa Dunes in Humboldt County. A doula is an emotional support person during birth. She helped me with my breathing during labor. Afterward, she helped me with my milk production by offering me a bulk serving of a soup made from coconut, sweet potato, and nettle. This sweet porridge-like meal worked wonders, and after a few days, with the help of Mother’s Milk Tea, my milk was abundant.

The day after my birth, we took the placenta out of the fridge and placed it on a chux pad to make the print. Using the blood still in the ziplock bag, she painted the placenta with it and, with a large drawing paper, she made a perfect print of the placenta that helped support, feed, and nourish my baby.

Placenta Print

I knew I wanted to plant my placenta. I initially was drawn to a lemon tree, but I couldn’t find one anywhere local in late summer. I settled with a Mutsu, green apple tree. I bought a large pot to put it in until we have found a permanent home. My husband, the farmer, filled the bottom of the pot with Fox Farm Soil. We placed the placenta inside and added another layer of soil before adding the tree so that the organ wasn’t directly underneath the tree. Then, we filled the rest of the pot up and watered it lightly.

The tree symbolizes the tree of life reflected on the placenta, as well as the journey ahead of my baby boy. It also resembles the change of the seasons that will make its leaves transition in color which will fall and regrow. The tree will provide fruit that helps nourish and feed its community, as I hope my son will foster to his. These are the reasons I choose to plant my placenta. Please comment below with what you did with yours!

File:Tree of life.jpg
The Tree of Life (wikimedia.org)

Malakai Klaus Pearson at Home Birth

August 10, 2021

Birthing Story

Warning *Nudity and Adult Content*

Check out my “Unassisted” Birth Plan I wrote at 18weeks for a complete perspective of my birthing experience.

IG: the_glowing_expectant

I never thought the words “I do” would follow me beyond eloping. At the peak of my transition, I shouted, I couldn’t do it any longer, and my husband said, “Remember, your body is made to give birth,” and I responded, “I do.” After that, I knew I could do it.

My contractions started around 4 am on August 10th. My mom, Sascha, was visiting from San Diego. My due date was August 2nd, and I was now ten days late. As a first-time birther, I didn’t know what to expect. I laid in bed, and when I felt myself dilating, I went to the bathroom. Going back and forth would go on for the remainder of the morning. I texted my midwife at 7:32 am, “Feeling contractions. I think today’s the day. I’ll see you at one.” We had a scheduled visit for that afternoon, and I thought I’d ride the waves until then. My daughter, Halaya, stayed home from her school camp, and my mom prepared the house and catered to my needs.

When the midwife, Jami, came, I had her check my dilation. I was at 2cm, and she told me I was doing great as I paced the room and bounced on my birth ball. Her assistant, Elise, helped her bring in supplies and set up the bed with a mattress cover and sheets. They told me they had a 3 pm prenatal visit and that, as a first-time birther, I shouldn’t expect to have the baby until later that night or possibly the following day. They reassured me that they would stay locally and to call them when the contractions were stronger. Elise told me as she left to call Sarah, the doula, in a few hours if I needed help.

Sarah is a newer doula and was offering her services for the experience. I called her around 3:15 pm. It was hard for me to talk in between contractions, and I asked her to come within the hour. She got to my house at 4:05 pm, and I was in between being on all fours and the toilet. I was internalized and not speaking clearly. Sarah offered me water, broth, and labor-aid in between contractions, from which I could take only a few sips. I was throwing up and having a hard time keeping anything down. They were about three minutes apart when she timed my transitions, lasting about a minute and in a pattern. She would tell me later that they progressed very quickly from the time she was there. I yelled at her that I felt the need “to shit.” I went as far as asking her if the baby was coming out of my ass.

When I sat on the toilet again, I felt the need to push and a lot of pressure. I held onto my surroundings which was a sign to Sarah that I had the need to bear down and that it was time to call the midwife. I responded fiercely, “Call the fucking midwife.” That’s when the mucus plug came out.

Sarah said with beautiful big brown eyes that I needed to pant. We began to pant together. She asked me if I would get into the tub, and a little resiliently, I did so. There was a moment when I sunk into the tub, and I got back onto all fours when I felt the next contraction. My husband soothed me with kind words and petted my forehead. My daughter also came into the bathroom and kissed me but then left the room at my request. Then again, I sunk into the tub, but I couldn’t do it anymore and wanted out when the next contraction came.

I was back on the floor and saying “Oww” in rhythm while on all fours. My mom suggested that I go into the bedroom, but I couldn’t move and told her aggressively to leave the room. I gave a few heavy pushes, and Sarah told me to try not to push and instead pant while we waited for the midwife. I got my husband to walk me to the bedroom, where I’d have more space.

I got onto the bed, and there was no stopping me at this point. Halaya tried to come into the room, and out of fear, I asked her to wait in her room. With bulging eyes, I looked at Sarah to guide me through my breathing techniques. We did a few breaths out and a long awww sound to get things moving. I strongly depended on her at this point to guide me through my experience. My husband stood behind, waiting for the baby. He would tell me he thought the baby was also coming out of my rectum until he mentally corrected himself. The baby’s head began to crown after a few pushes. I gave a high pitch scream. Sarah reminded me, “lower tones bring the baby,” and I followed her lead. She told my mom to get the receiving blankets. There was a moment I couldn’t see Sarah, and I screamed her name. She returned to locking eyes with me, and we breathed through the rushes together.

Jeremy saw the baby’s head. The baby’s face turned purple, and he noticed that the cord was wrapped tightly around the baby’s neck. I didn’t feel the need to push suddenly and wanted to rest. My husband told me I had to push, and I responded that I did not. Sarah reiterated that it was vital for me to continue pushing at this time, and I did so.

Jeremy grabbed Malakai as he was sliding out at 5:01 pm. He said the baby had mucus draining from his nose. He untwisted the cord instinctually. There was a lot of blood, and the concern to call 911 arose. Sarah asked Jeremy and me, and we both rejected. The baby was behind me from in between my legs. J held the baby on its stomach to get it to sputter out the fluid. The baby was limp, and I requested they bring the baby back through my legs and onto my chest. I immediately swiped his mouth for mucus and patted the baby on the back. Malakai began to cry softly and was finally coming into his body. As I laid on the bed with my newborn, Sarah offered me a shepherd’s purse tincture to help stop the bleeding.

We all took a deep breath, and the midwife came about 5 minutes later. I was hemorrhaging, but I felt relieved that my baby was in my arms and we were all alive. Jami and Elise came into the room, shocked to see us all sitting calmly on the bed with a newborn baby. My mom got Halaya and brought her into the room. She was able to greet her new baby brother. Halaya smiled with excitement and gave baby and me a kiss on the forehead.

Jami gave me a shot to help with the blood loss. There was no tearing and I accredit it to a constant burning sensation that caused me to massage my labia frequently. After about 15 minutes, Jami recommended I sat on a stool and pushed out the rest of the placenta. I was uncomfortable, but shortly after squatting, it ejected out. After the cord stopped pulsing, we got two black candlesticks from my altar. Jeremy and I burned the cord together. Halaya watched while we sang tunes and waited for the cord to burn, which took about 5-8 minutes. Once the cord was burnt, we had a chance to settle, and Elise took the baby’s vitals. Halaya listened to the baby’s heart and lungs, and Elise weighed him at 7lbs 12 oz and his height to be 21 inches. He had long fingers and large feet.

Looking at my baby in my arms was so fulfilling. I said to Sarah that Malakai had an old soul. His cues warmed the room, and we all sat awe-stricken as the baby looked around at his new world. It took him a while to latch, but Jami ensured he did so before leaving the room. I filled my peri bottle with a homemade sitz bath extract and used it to soothe myself when I used the restroom.

Everyone went home before 8:15 pm, and we had the rest of the evening to enjoy as a family. My mom made eggrolls. Halaya held her little brother, and my mom sat with him on the rocking chair. We all reminisced about the excitement of the birth. We were all impressed with J’s quick actions to unwrap the umbilical cord, and my mom expressed her fear when she saw his purple face. I would look back on the helping hand Sarah offered me and the deep connection I felt with her as she helped me ride the waves of my birthing experience. In the end, our baby boy came out alive and well.

That night Malakai nursed for what seemed like hours. We tried to put him in the bassinet, but he wouldn’t have it. We moved him from the bassinet to the dock-a-tock in between us on the bed. He cried, forcing me to hold him on my chest as I tried not to drift off to sleep. He took a handful of loaded poops, a tar-like dark brown. Around 4 am when everyone was on cloud 9, I put him back in the dock-a-tock, cuddled next to my husband, and slept for a few hours.

I appreciate everyone that contributed and was so proud of my home birth experience. Reading all the books prepared me not to be afraid and ride my contractions’ waves. I wouldn’t give it up for the world. And even though they say your birth never goes as you planned, my birth unexpectedly went exactly as I had wanted.

If you are a Humboldt local here are my recommendations for birthing assisstants:

All of these woman were incredibly helpfully and I highly recommend their services for a spiritual and centered birthing experience.

Midwife: Jami Johnson: (707) 272-0339

Doula: Jessika Shinn: (503) 791-7330

Doula: Sarah @ Sacred Cycles Doula: (386) 882-1652

Masseuse: Audrie Kuhl @ Subliminal Sensation: (707) 296-4806

Fernando Rebolloso: Breakbeat/ Progressive DJ

dallcineye@icloud.com 

*Breakbeats play in the background.* 

Me: Hello Everyone, today we will be interviewing Fernando Rebolloso. Fernando, can you please introduce yourself and your social media accounts. 

Fernando: Yes, my name is Mr.Rebelloso, also known as Medicine man or AKA. Blue Honey. Anyways the only social media account that I have is a sound cloud. You can type in my name in there. I’ll help you spell it out, Mr.Rebolloso, and you can find my mixes on there and whatnot, my music. Mostly my mixes, though.

Blue Honey

Me: Woohoo. What first sparked your interest in electronic music?

Fernando: Well, I was actually a kid when I first heard electronic music in the ’90s. I used to stay up until the middle of the night until 3 am with a tape recorder and tape deck trying to listen to Jam and Z 90, Alice DJ and Eiffle 65, all the European or just old school techno that everybody knows in the ’90s, you know the famous stuff. Then, later on in my early teens, I started going to raves, and that’s what sparked my interest. I went to Monster Massive. Monster Massive I saw DJ Ressa at Monster Massive, and he was killin’ it, and I was like, that’s what I want to do for the rest of my life, even if it’s a hobby or whatnot because people grow out of things or whatnot. But I’m still doing it, and I love playing electronic music, and my favorite genre is break beats, and my favorite artist is DJ Icey, and he is one of the artists that I love. He actually inspired me a lot in mixing and trying to produce and make remixes. 

Me: How did you start DJ’ing? 

Fernando: How did I start Dj’ing, well, I had a friend named DJ Drips in high school and I didn’t have no gear because my family was poor so I went to his family all the time because they had a lot of instruments and everything because they were churchgoers and his dad did the sound, so his dad had a lot of sound instruments and I got a lot of DJ gear and sound equipment, so his son and I started DJing together, but not really, he was really into hip hop, and I was into electronic music so he would let me come over and jam out and use his gear. Then, when I was like 19-20, I bought my own set of DJ gear. I started on STR-80s, and it had a little reverse switch and a bent tonearm, a one-a-be technique back then. And then I started playing records, and that’s how I started DJing in my early teens and twenties or whatnot. 

Me: Awesome. What technology and programs do you use now? 

Fernando: Right now I use, Serato and Pioneer. Those two. I like using the CDJ’s from the Pioneer record box. I’m pretty well versed because I grew up with the technology and the bugs that they’ve been trying to fix and all that stuff, and ya, those are the main two programs I’ve been trying to use, a record box and scratch Serrato. 

Me: What inspires your music?

Fernando: What inspires my music? Well, that’s a tough question to answer. I believe everything that is going on in my life helps me write a story every time I Dj. But that’s when I’m doing like a programmed mix or a freestyle mix that everyone can enjoy on sound cloud. But when I go out DJ, freestyle, I’m mostly in the party mood and just want to see everyone’s booty shake. That’s what inspires me when I play live. 

Me: I feel that. Where have you performed?

Fernando: I’ve performed a lot in San Diego, CA. I was one of the founders of Danksgiving San Diego for nine years. Rufio, you might recognize that name in San Diego. He’s the other founder. I’ve played at Spin Nightclub, I’ve played at the Fire Circle, I’ve played at Youtopia for a lot of years. In the beginning of my career, I played at a venue called Theater X. I was an intermission DJ. And also an after party DJ, in their underground storage area. There was like a staircase going underneath the building. I don’t know what you’d call that but anyways, a lot of places like that: small venues, small parties, the Jumping Turtle in San Marcos, CA. I played the Onyx room one time but mostly just a lot of random dessert parties, the Indigo Vertex, a lot of things like that. 

Me: Cool! How has your style changed over the years? 

Fernando: Well, I used to play a lot of acid breaks, but now I play a lot of booty breaks and quick mixing like hip hop style because I believe that today’s youth is so used to watching videos online and their attention span can’t keep attention to whatever they’re listening to- I totally forgot the question. 

Me: It was, ‘how has your style changed?’

Fernando: Sorry, I’m a little stoned. It’s changed a lot from progressive to party, back to progressive. It’s like I said earlier on in the interview, it depends on how I feel and what’s going on in my life-

Me: -a wide range of genres. 

Fernando: Oh yeah, exactly, you know Natascha. You’ve seen me play Drum and Bass, House.

Me: Some Oldies and Hip Hop stuff. How does your location and environment influence your music? You’ve gone through that a little bit, but do you feel differently in the desert than you would in Oceanside by the beach? What kind of genres and type of music interests you when you’re in these environments and locations? 

Fernando: That does influence me a lot. When I’m in the desert, I feel more spiritual, and I feel more at one with myself for some reason. If I’m in an earthy environment, you know I am Hispanic, so anything tropical, that helps out a lot for sure. I play more jungly music, whatever is more earthy like the greenery around me and the ocean as well. I try to play more progressive when I’m on the ocean. Super progressive because the ocean helps me out a lot. 

Me: Oh, I love that. What effects do you want your music to have on people besides shaking ass on the dance floor? What do you want them to walk away with? 

Fernando: I want them to walk away with being happy. Or at least to say, Ohhh that was sickkkk. You know how you guys feel when you walk away from a sick ass DJ playing. I get that effect as well. Mostly I want them to walk away with a feeling of being fucking happy. I don’t know how to describe it. It may be progressive because I use progressive music in my booty breaks. I just want them to walk away with a good experience and that they had a good time on the dance floor, and that they communicated with people or whatever they’re trying to do. Mostly happy I guess.

Me: How does music influence your life? What changes does it bring into your world? 

Fernando: Music has done a lot to me and my life. When I was a kid, I started off with classical music and then branched off into jazz, then rock, then hip hop, then punk, then street punk, and also like industrial and all that other stuff. It has a big influence on my life, and if music hasn’t been in my life, I’d probably be dead right now. To be honest, you know what I mean.

Me: It’s a lifesaver. 

Fernando: There you go. It is a lifesaver. Thank you, Natascha. 

Me: How does your lifestyle influence your music?

Fernando: My lifestyle is definitely pretty crazy right now. It influences my music a lot. Like I said, whatever I’m going through it helps me channel what I’m going through.

Me: How would you describe your lifestyle?

Fernando: Right now? As a nomad, as a traveler, a traveling musician maybe. That’s what I think. That’s all that I can describe as my lifestyle—living one day at a time and living to the fullest. 

Me: What advice do you have for novice DJ’s? 

Fernando: Umm, practice, practice, practice, and play from your heart. That’s all I can really say about that. There may be some people that don’t like you playing from you’re heart, but then you’re going to reconnect to that one person that is having trouble in their lives, that needs you in their life. If you can change one person’s mind on the dancefloor, I feel like that’s all you really need. It’s great. I don’t know.

Mr.Rebolloso at a Triptych Event.

Me: That’s beautifully said. Where can we catch you next? 

Fernando: Right now, I’m just doing online stuff. I’m hoping you can catch me back live anywhere, San Diego or in Eureka, CA, because right now I’m traveling between Southern and Northern California. I don’t know yet. I’ll keep you guys posted on my sound cloud. That’s all I can say is that you can catch me online right now until somebody books me again because of COVID and everything. You know how the world is. 

Me: Check out Fernando on his sound cloud and book him! Thank you, everyone, for tuning in, and thank you, Fernando! 

Fernando: Thank you, Natascha.

Me: I appreciate you. 

Interview with Impressionist, Acrylic Painter, Ceak Kytrell

Ceak Kytrell

Eureka, CA: July 7, 2021: I met Ceak (pronounced like seek) painting on 2nd Street and F in downtown Eureka during the wind down of COVID about a month and a half ago. His outgoing personality and welcoming smile easily draws in anyone passing by. Hours can be spent, staring at his artwork, deciphering the larger picture. I had the opportunity to interview Ceak at my home while he was working on a tribute piece to African American Women athletes, starring Sha’Carri Richardson. This is what Ceak had to share.

Ceak, Monday’s with Michaele, and Myself in downtown Eureka.


Me: Today, we will be interviewing Ceak. Please introduce yourself and your social media accounts.


Ceak: Hello, my name is Ceak.I am a visual artist that uses paints, more than likely acrylic paints. You can find me on Instagram at @CeakKytrelll and @Visions_Channels_.


Me: Thank you very much! Where are you from?


Ceak: I am originally from Virginia, North of the seven cities. Shout out to them. Do I miss it? No. But, it’s cool to visit my peoples whenever I can.


Me: What is your history in art?

Ceak Kytrell


Ceak: My history in art is pretty much. I grew up drawing a whole lot in school when I was a young whooper snapper. I just sort of, I didn’t take any classes. It was just something I really loved doing. It gave me motivation and gave me energy. It gives me the feeling of life, pretty much, when I do it, and people like it, so I keep doing it.


Me: That’s beautiful. What style do you paint?


Ceak: Well, I don’t know, really. There’s a couple people that say I’m an impressionist. There’s a couple of people that say Im a comic. I do a whole lot of cartoon work or whatever. I just do what feels right as far as the colors is concerned.


Me: Can you tell us more about the colors?


Ceak: Well, for me, when many people ask me which my favorite one is, I can’t really say just one color because literally all of them. It takes every color in the spectrum to make what is so called one color, red, green, blue, yellow. Any color, it needs every color, every shade, every hue to make that one color. I can’t really say I like either one of them. My colors on my paintings reflect that, and they just come out as far as how I feel.


Me: I know you said you use acrylics but can you tell us a little more about the project besides acrylic on canvas? What else can we see you painting on?


Ceak: You can see me painting on wood, on a school, or painting pretty much anywhere. Anywhere I get an opportunity to paint, that where I choose to paint and everything. I paint on canvas, but it’s not limited to, and I’m not in a box as far as that’s concerned. I go where the art takes me.


Me: What influences your style?


Ceak: What influences my style is, I would say, a heavy background in a whole lot of comic book art, honestly. There is this one guy named Joe Jusko which I really love the way he brings out the characters that he displays, Julie, and there’s this one artist, I can’t believe I forget, people keep saying, oh yeah, Alex Gray, people keep telling me ohh you’re just like that. I swear to god I’m not trying to be like Alex Gray. I’m nowhere near his fucking talent, but yeah, he just sort of influences the flow of my art pieces sometimes. It’s really awesome, honestly.
Me: Do you feel like your style has changed since you lived on the East Coast compared to the West Coast?
Ceak: Absolutely. When I was on the East Coast, I was doing nothing but working my fucking butt off for people who didn’t really care. Over here, it’s kind of the same, but you can kind of feel the love more so out here. But maybe for meit has just been a growing journey experience. Nobodies really got to care about you for you to make who you are, who you are, and everything. It really boils down to what you want to do. You know what I’m saying? Your passions, your life, pretty much. It really has nothing to do with anyone else but you and what you’re trying to display in your art, you know. I see some of your art and stuff, and it blows me away some of the things that you do, you know. Keep doing it, keep going. For me, it’s just, like I said, a constant maturing and growing, what I know, and incorporating what you see.


Me: That’s awesome. What gets you in a flow state-


Ceak: Hahaha,


ME: -When you’re painting for hours at a time-


Ceak: Mushrooms!! Okay, I’ll stop.


Me: No, that’s okay. Be honest with it.

Ceak Kytrell


Ceak: It definitely has a lot to do with the people that I hang around. Shout out to Joel and Carol Lily and their children. Shout out to you, too. If I get around people who are generally down for being cool like that, it really motivates me to paint and continue to shine my light, my particular light, and just have a good, good camaraderie. That’s what helps me and motivates me.


Me: That’s awesome. How long does it take you to finish a painting?


Ceak: Depending upon the size, it could take me from a week to, it can take me from even a night, depending on how motivated I am, to a week, pretty much.


Me: Is that like a medium-sized canvas or like a large-sized.


Ceak: Yeah, it’s like a medium-sized canvas.


Me: So between a day and a week?


Ceak: Mmhm.


Me: Wow. Where do you see your art career in 10 years?


Ceak: Wow, thats a good question, actually. I don’t think of the future when it comes to my art. I would like people to. I would love it if, not necessarily be known, but like, it would be nice for people to want more of my stuff honestly and constantly gravitate toward it, you know. That’s crazy. I mean, ten years…. I’m thinking five. I’m thinking like one.
Me: Okay, in five years, where do you see it in five years?


Ceak: I see myself blowing up in five years. I see a whole lot of people, literally, getting my stuff.


Me: That’s great.


Ceak: And wanting more of me.


Me: Absolutely.


Ceak: And all of that, my growth honesty, in my artwork. Maybe within five years-


Me: Well, in five years, it’s gotta look like Alex Gray.


Ceak: It has to be. It has to look like Alex Gray. Not that I’m trying to look like him but-


Me: When you’re painting everyday.


Ceak: He wants people to be influenced by his stuff, so- why not? Absolutely, I’m down. I’m definitely cool with that.


Me: Alright, we’re almost done here. Any advice to amateur artists?


Ceak: Hmm. Keep moving, keep going, don’t stop. If this is what you like to do, I know life happens, and I know that things will get in the way, but if you love doing it, don’t stop doing it. It’s the worst thing in the world. Sometimes, I’ve seen people have a great awesome talent. They show me their own stuff, or they do a little sketch, but their lives are pulling them elsewhere, and it’s okay. It’s what happens. It’s almost like a wasted god’s gift that you have, that you really need to capitalize on and that people will buy and people will gravitate to. They will love it. It’s the conundrum of the century. Life, you have all this talent. I’m not even talking about art or painting or anything. I’m talking about raw talent. They get left behind ’cause, not even left behind, but they let their artwork falter just because, simply because, quote on quote, people don’t want to buy it or see it or whatever. You should always sharpen your sharpest blade. You know what I’m saying. You should always keep it on point, on fire.

Ceak Kytrell


Me: You never know, huh?


Ceak: You never fucking know.


Me: Where can we catch you next?


Ceak: You can catch me- outside. You can probably catch me anywhere, I say anywhere, but that’s where I’m trying to take it too. I’m trying to expand beyond Arcata and Eureka. You know what I’m saying, but nine times out of ten you will see me in those areas. Yeah.


Me: Alright, thank you so much! I appreciate it! Anything else you want to add?


Ceak: I love you guys. That’s it.


Me: Until next time.

Please follow Ceak at

https://www.facebook.com/ceak.kytrell.9

IG: @Visions_channels_

@Ceakkytrell