Author: N.Pearson

Cannabis: Edibles, A look into a Small Business Start-Up

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THC Almond Butter Cups in Toffee, Coconut, Coffee, Strawberry, Regular

Since college, I have been a big fan of making pot brownies. Later, I’ve noticed that it is more of a medicine than a party favor. Edibles are a less harmful way to intake THC and CBD than smoking. Edibles can get a seasoned cannabis smoker high again. A more significant amount of Delta-9-THC goes into your liver when digesting an edible and converts to 11-hydroxy-THC. This form of cannabis intake is noninvasive to your surroundings and environment, with no smell to latch onto your clothes or linger in the air. Edibles are discreet and offer a relaxing high. While it may take a while to kick in, it’s long-lasting. The benefits of eating edibles, according to healthline.com, include treating “poor appetite, pain and weight loss in cancer patients, reduce pain and muscle spasms, relieve nausea and vomiting, enhance sleep quality, and improve anxiety.”

My goal would be to offer affordable, high-quality edibles that focus on health and healing, compared to your average sweet treat. The brand highlights dark and earthy tones, reflecting on my Celtic heritage and the change of the seasons.

The primary base for my 420 edibles is coconut oil. Coconut oil is saturated fat like butter. It is a plant-based alternative. Coconut oil helps the body assimilate fat-soluble vitamins. According to research from Hightimes, coconut oil distracts THC second best to butter. It also attributes to weight loss, “coconut oil contains a high amount of MCTs, or medium-chain fatty acids, also called triglycerides. These MCTs are harder for our bodies to store as fat and easier for us to burn off compared to long-chain fatty acids. “

I make a variety of chocolates, including almond butter cups, white chocolate bars with rice crispy, and coffee-infused cocoa. Chocolates are good for menstrual cycles, depression, and anxiety. They come in bite-size, squares, and cups. I add natural ingredients for deluxe treats like green tea, toffee, strawberry chunks, and coconut shavings.

420 Hot sauce has been my favorite for a while. You can check out my blog Caribbean style hot sauce here. Even though my hot sauce in the past has come out like a paste, my brother is in the craft hot sauce business in San Diego, and he will be assisting me in making coconut-based hot sauces that keep their liquidity. Hot sauce is low-calorie and easy to store and use on the fly.

My newest addition to making edibles is the green bars. Green bars are a healthy mix grain bar that includes dates, pistachios, pumpkin seeds, hemp seeds, and spirulina. This bar will not only contain medical benefits but will also give you energy.

Are you interested in opening a cannabis edible business? I assume I’m not the only one. My friend sent me these classes I am interested in attending at College of the Redwoods on building a business in the marijuana industry, https://www.redwoods.edu/communityed/Detail/ArtMID/17724/ArticleID/6299/Cannabis-Business-Training-Program. I’m considering taking these classes if I can afford them. You can make a donation on my home page. I will make sure to blog about my experience.

I haven’t even thought of a name for my edible company yet. After years of being associated with the cannabis industry, I would like to see how I can share natural healing edibles with my community.

***DISCLAIMER EDIBLES ARE NOT FOR SALE. THIS IS A START-UP COMPANY THAT HAS NOT YET BEEN LICENSED. Investors may send inquiries to littelostforestart@gmail.com***

REFERENCES:

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/eating-weed#:~:text=Edible%20cannabis%20products%2C%20such%20as,9%20%2C%2010%20%2C%2011%20).

https://www.vice.com/en/article/bj5mza/edible-high-vs-smoke-high

Finding Time to Work with your Newborn as a Writer

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Finding time to yourself with a newborn can be challenging, let alone to write.

As a mom that writes, I have to be very cautious about where my time is going. The days flew by in a blur, and I found myself trying to catch up on last week’s tasks that were catch-ups from the week before. As a new mom finding time to maintain a pre-pregnancy way of living is impossible but creating a work-flow schedule isn’t! It might be helpful to take a step back and evaluate how you are taking the time to execute your plans.

Here are a few tips I found helpful to get back on track after falling behind in my work studies, especially my writing tasks!

Don’t overload yourself. The minute you put too much on your plate, you will find yourself back where you started. With businesses in need of workers, if you decide to go back to work, consider part-time as a new mother and maintain your focus on a single line of work instead of keeping the side gigs you picked up during pregnancy. If you have multiple projects at home, focus on finishing one task.

Wake up early. Laying in bed awake since 7 am with the baby is not the same as getting up and ready. An early start will get your body in motion to excel in your tasks. Making your bed will motivate you to be productive instead of laying back down on the sheets.

Baby’s first nap is an excellent time to write. This nap may only be twenty minutes, but this is the time the writing mom has to jibe. It can be hard to find the motivation once the baby wakes up and later throughout the day. It is also a good time for a friend or neighbor to sit with the baby so your work can be finished.

Now- in my case- the rest of the day flies by, and I’m holding the baby. I can place the baby on the floor for tummy time, and someone will come by and comment on how cute the baby is, pick him up, and pass him to me a minute later. At this point in the day, it is a constant flow of baby and me, even if I try to put him down.

When the baby is feeding, I will find the time to read. Reading helps stimulate the brain after hours of baby playtime. It’s calming and relaxing.

The next chance I will get to set a productivity time is at 6 pm when I go to work. Working for 5-8 hours will give you enough time to sleep and also allow you to spend precious moments with your baby during the day. Working at night can also complement your partner’s schedule if they work during the day. Going to work helps keep a feeling of self and individuality apart from the baby.

Now to keep up with a schedule and do not give up! The schedule might be challenging, and there will be times when you want to not show up, but surrounding yourself with an encouraging team to make sure that you have your eyes on the goal will help you when times get tough.

Write down your goals and watch them be crossed off by following these simple steps.

Co-sleeping as a Team

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My husband asked me what an equivalent feeling to breastfeeding would be for a man and I would like to say- co-sleeping. 

IG: @the_glowing_expectant

To me, co-sleeping is hands down my favorite activity. Co-sleeping is not meant for everyone and that is okay. There are potential dangers to co-sleeping and it has to be something you are comfortable with. Co-sleeping is perfect for my husband, my baby, and me. I am a light sleeper and use intoxicants in minimal amounts. Our bed is a king-size bed with plenty of room to fit the three of us. Our older daughter is only allowed to sleep in the bed if she is not directly sleeping next to the baby and usually for short periods throughout the night. I am always aware of my baby, and we need each other in our arms to enjoy a whole night’s rest. 

In the beginning, we used a dock, but the baby would cry when we placed him in it even if we were right next to him. Then I’d set him in the crib, but again he would cry agitatedly. I tried to wait till the wee hours and then place him in his own nest, but it wouldn’t take long for the tears to come again. I co-sleep now with my baby at four months old he doesn’t wake up in the night and breastfeeds first thing in the morning. When he was waking up frequently during the night, I could breastfeed him and put him back to sleep with little action. 

At first, my husband had to correct my posture. He said my arm would be too close to his face or that I was cradling him with my body too much. There was a time or two when I had to push my husband away from getting too close to the baby. Whatever we did, it must have worked because the baby is healthy, and we all sleep together like champs. 

So why do people fear that co-sleeping is associated with SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.) Some factors may be overheating from sleeping next to two adults, the sheets covering the baby’s face, or that a fast asleep adult could roll over the baby. Well, the fact is co-sleeping prevents SIDS. A tired mother trying to rock a baby asleep can be more dangerous than a well-resting mother that co-sleeps with their child. The most common reason for SIDS is when the baby doesn’t awake to a life-threatening occurrence such as trouble breathing. When sleeping next to my child, I am aware of his breathing and react accordingly. Dr.Sears (parenting.com) claims the carbon dioxide from my breathing can also stimulate my child’s breathing. By co-sleeping, we become one unit that works together.

Co-sleeping is practiced all over the world. In many countries where they don’t use cribs, co-sleeping is the only option, and once there was a time when co-sleeping was the norm. Even though there has been a bad stigma on co-sleeping, more parents find co-sleeping to be beneficial to infants. Creating independence is important and will come with time, no need to rush your baby out of the bed.

So what are the seven safe practices of co-sleeping:

  1. Be a sober mom. Avoid all intoxicants.
  2. Sleep with the baby at your breast and the blanket under the baby’s neck.
  3. Keep baby on his back.
  4. Dress baby lightly. Diaper only is okay!
  5. The bed shouldn’t be too soft or too small.
  6. Be aware of any cords or gaps. I use pillows along the sides.
  7. Keep pillows and sheets from covering his head.

For a safe co-sleeping experience check out these affiliate links for a lounger or a bedside sleeper.

Co-sleeping is so rewarding to me, but how long do I think it will last? Everyone has unique practices, and there is no right way to do it. Before my baby is a year old, I believe I will adjust him to sleeping in a crib so he can gain independence, and my husband can once again exclusively have my cuddles. I don’t plan to breastfeed for much longer than a year. I struggle with my breast supply, and at some point, my baby won’t be attached to my breast throughout the night and day. For now, coming home and sleeping with my child after an eight-hour shift helps me feel closer to my baby. When he wakes in the morning, I can respond, change his diaper, unclog his nose and breastfeed until we both fall back asleep. Co-sleeping helps me respond to him quickly and allows me to indulge in the most beautiful snuggles I have ever imagined. 

Foraging Mushrooms in Humboldt County

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If you’re familiar with my blog, you might have read my post “Places to Hike in Humboldt County.” Headwaters Reserve. This beautiful salmon spawning preserve has more to offer than meets the eye. Take a trip along the dirt paths that branch from the cement road, and a trained eye will see a whole ecosystem full of mushrooms.

Stropharia ambigua (left), Hygrocybe sp. waxy cap (center), Clavaria fragilis fairy fingers (right)

Why forage mushrooms? Mushrooms are a fungus that grows from mycelium. There are miles of mycelium under the forest floor, a massive white fiber that communicates with trees and the rest of the duff. Mycelium grows mushrooms for different purposes, from decomposing dead material to forming partnerships with plants. Mushrooms vary in characteristics and design. Some are poisons, some induce hallucinations, and others are great in meals. When picking your mushrooms, be careful which you touch, which you eat, and which you use for medical purposes.

Are you interested in mushroom foraging but don’t know where to begin? There are a few simple steps you can take to start your mushroom adventures!

Amanita muscaria

The best time to look for mushrooms is during the rainy season. Mushrooms grow in different habitats. Some thrive on trees, while others can be underneath ferns or in the dunes and your backyard. In Humboldt, Porcinis form close relationships with pine trees. You may find these and Chanterelles also under spruces. Oyster mushrooms like to expand on dead and dying alder trees. Ways to identify mushrooms is by using a book such as Mushrooms of the Redwood Coast by Noah Siegel. Other ways to identify mushrooms are taking pictures and using an app or a Facebook group. At first, it might be overwhelming. I don’t recommend searching for a specific species unless you know that it will be growing in a particular area. In identifying mushrooms it is also important to recognize the surrounding trees.

Humboldt County is a mecca for mushroom foraging. There are many trails and forests where you can find all types of shrooms! The mushroom community is supportive and will help guide you in safe foraging. While mushroom hunting, you should only take what you need, don’t take all the mushrooms (!), and leave no trace. It is bad ju-ju to sell natural resources, including mushrooms, so do it for fun and your community! My neighbor blessed me with chanterelles that we put on our steak, and it was the best meal I ever had! These kinds of actions not only put a smile on someone’s face but create memories that are not easily forgotten. Mushrooms foraging is a family sport, so grab your loved ones and head to the woods to see what you can find! You are continuing the mushroom life cycle just by walking through the terrain.

Lactarius aestivus

Please follow habitat guidelines. It is strictly noted not to walk off-trail at the headwaters preserve. Stick to the dirt trail!

My Christmas Wish

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Amid the holidays, I would like to touch on the subject of acceptance. Now more than ever, our nation is divided due to different beliefs, and I’m not talking about religious beliefs; I’m talking about, I’m right you’re wrong beliefs such as Vaccinated VS Unvaccinated, Trump VS Non-Trumpers;Ā  not only that but divorced families that can’t stand being in the same room together, controlling lovers that won’t allow their partner time with friends, or people trying to share their opinions on Facebook and being chewed out for it. I know this isn’t just my experience, but one many of us can relate to.Ā 

People have opinions- I’m sorry they’re not always wrong or right. The Buddhists teach a way of acceptance. When a thought pops up, it must be recognized, and it will pass because that is all it is, a thought. When there was an essential disagreement in a native tribe, they sat in peace circles and allowed everyone a chance to speak without interruption when holding a totem. Today, an opinion can cause a riot because the discussion is not part of the plan.Ā Ā Can we slow down a little and look at how we, as a community, are contributing to the problem? Did you judge and slander someone for being anti-vax or a trump supporter? Does your opinion matter more than anyone else? During the Nazi regime, the German forces thought they were serving their country by committing Genocide. Can we agree that listening to all opinions can help open our eyes to things we might have been blindsided to?Ā 

I know it’s not the same, I know you are absolutely right. I find myself more submissive and agreeable to most, even my friends. Only my partner would know my voice on controversial matters. So here we are crumbling our thoughts into dust so they can float into the universe unseen, or we are pushing our beliefs so far down people’s throats that they can’t breathe, let alone mutter what they have to say.Ā 

Where’s the safe path?

Ā Well, this ties around to a concept that I have been willing to preach for a long time now. How is acceptance going to happen on a mass level without it happening in our own homes? There’s a Christian saying I learned in my youth that I’m having a hard time rephrasing, so here it goes: “Honor thy brother and sister.” The hate you’re putting on your partner, your brothers, and sisters, family, and exes or partner’s exes- Guess what?- it bleeds into the bigger picture, directly. When there is so much negativity floating around in our everyday conversations, walls that are put up, families that are separated, and children that can’t spend the holidays with both their parents because they can’t get along, it’s hard to lead by example when you’re living in separation yourself.Ā 

I would do anything to have my mom and dad at a holiday gathering together, with their partner’s acceptance and company. I would love to have my friend over for Thanksgiving without her husband blowing up my phone, worried that she won’t make it home safely. I would have loved to have both my husband’s parents at our wedding when they both contributed so much to our lives. I hate seeing on Facebook that someone can’t talk about children getting vaccinated in schools in a MOMs group, “The place to talk about this is with the school directly. This group will chew you up and spit you out.” I wish I would be more acceptable to concepts that I think are discriminatory or unjust because who am I to judge someone else’s opinion? For this holiday season, I test myself, and I dare you to take the challenge, to not judge people’s thoughts and ideas, to not close our doors to family and friends, and to remember throughout the stress of the holidays to breathe and practice acceptance.

From its origins in India, Buddhism has had an appreciation for reasoning and debate skills. The profound purpose of Buddhist debate and reasoning isĀ to clear away a wrong conception of our own naturesĀ and thereby to become free of suffering and even death.

Perdue, Daniel. “Tibetan Buddhist Debate.” Asia Society. https://asiasociety.org/tibetan-buddhist-debate

Cloth Diapering 2021

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I am three months into cloth diapering, and I don’t want to say I know everything about it, but I do support cloth diapering, which has a positive impact on the environment. I’ve been told I am doing it wrong, I have had pee cover the baby and the bed while the diaper was on, I’ve had to clean tar-like poops with a scrub brush, but with all the negatives, I still see some incredibly healthy positives that make cloth diapering worth it.

Eighteen billion diapers fill our landfills in America, with an estimated 95% of parents using disposable diapers. It takes approximately five hundred years to decompose diapers in a landfill. Disposable diapers are convenient, but they are no easier to use than a cloth diaper, and the clean-up for a cloth diaper impacts the environment less in the long run.

Cloth diapers come in all styles and are comfortable and cute. They stand for environmental awareness and sustainability. While using cloth diapers on the run, you can discard the dirty ones in a trash bag within your diaper bag and clean them when you go home. Cloth diapers and children’s laundry can be washed every 2-3 days in small loads. Below is my cloth diapering process.

I started with Thirsty diapers for $139.50 for five and a cloth liner at twelve for $18 I place the liner inside the diaper and fit it to a newborn size (making it tight around the thighs.) I later upgraded to Pacific Neutrals seven for $65, which were cheaper, softer, offered more padding and protection. It also came with an insert to place the liner in, I use the Naturally Natures liner, which fits the Pacific Neutrals perfectly. You can get twelve inserts for $29. These bamboo inserts are more natural and sustainable. I still use all the diapers and inserts leaving me at seventeen and forty-eight inserts at $410. Last I got these very thin liners which I don’t personally use, but you can place this liner inside the diaper if the insert is in the insert pouch. This is for extra protection, but doesnt protect the diaper much from contamination.

The clean-up is as hard as you make it. I have two small plastic tubs I got at the dollar store. I fill the pink tub up with laundry, take it to the laundry room sink and fill the blue tub up with hot water. I add one cup of Oxi Clean Stain Remover or a tablespoon of bleach. While filling, I separate the clothing from the diapers and place any peed-in liners and diapers into the filling bucket. I put aside any diapers that are pooped in. I take the filled basket onto the top of the washing machine and place the dirty clothes into the pink bucket. Then I scrape all the poop off with a scraping tool into a lined trash can. I then use a dollar store scrub brush to scrub the diapers under hot water (be careful you don’t give yourself a shit steam bath, lol. I then place that into the blue bucket with the rest of the soaking diapers and inserts. I let it soak for over an hour, sometimes overnight, drain all the water, and wash it in the machine.

I feel like cloth diapering is rewarding. After throwing away so many disposable diapers, clarity came, and I realized the impact of cloth diapering on the environment. I think disposable diapers are great for travel and nights to prevent leakage. I highly encourage anyone traveling and using disposable diapers to dispose of them in trash cans and not to leave them out in the world. Have fun shopping for cloth diapers. Their styles are so cute! Be confident that what you’re doing has your baby’s and the world’s best interest in mind.

The so-called, “Billion Dollar Industry”

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The Unjust Pay System in the Marijuana Industry

As an observer of the marijuana community, a question pops up all too often that has everyone wondering, where is all the money at? We have hard-working employees, males, and females, who work long hours, which are not afraid to get their hands dirty. So, where is the profit with all the planting? As COVID brings marijuana sales to a record high while dispensaries remain open as an essential business, why do farm workers remain at the bottom of the pay scale?

The real reason the grower and the owner can’t see eye to eye. A worker goes on to a farm, helps them turn their harvest to an abundant green yield, and in the end, their pay comes late, scarce, and more work is expelled without a full payout up to that point. Bonuses are promised but never seen. What once was a decent paying job, the worker finds themselves waiting for their pay, unmotivated to work, and easily replaceable with the next willing participant. Where did this mom and pops, family valued, hippie ‘ love and peace,’ grow community, one might think they are stepping into, go? It went to corporate America.

Yes, the men with ties and suits are to blame. Even if the owner thinks they are the big shoot, spending outside of their means on music equipment, big cars, and overextended vacations, here’s the catch- that money isn’t there. Corporate America is making the so-called billions in the billion-dollar industry. So much of the profit goes into taxes that the once hippie-dippie landowner is now hanging with rappers, sporting an image they can’t afford. While white market owners can’t value their pounds half of what the black market can, none of this money dwindles to the grower. The lead grower is being worked to the bone, and his profits directly reflect the owner’s value in people. As the quality withers, prices and pay drop slowly, the farmworkers starve while the owner keeps his appearance.

Marijuana was legalized in California in November 2016. Growers didn’t have great expectations for this. It was expected to take away thousands of pot dealers’ jobs by bringing the marijuana industry into businesses. What did this mean to the grower? What many Americans might have assumed would keep thousands of pot growers outside of jail, growers had to face a new reality, now they had to follow the rules, regulations, and worse of all, pay taxes or be subjected to raids and fines. As growers race to get permits, many growers end up taking the easier way out and remaining black market.

So how does this affect the ones growing the weed? White/ Black, “whatever” market, growing weed isn’t like working at Carl’s JR, but the pay of a lead farmer isn’t far off from the income of being hired off the street at a Carl’s JR. The skills of the marijuana grower are being undermined in an industry that is holding onto nickel and dime compared to pre-legalization, where the industry was about helping the little guys out, not using them. Farmers with years of skill are treated like basic laborers, and even the white market players are getting away with not paying their employees what their worth is.

So how to fix this problem? Illuminate the greed and go back to the root. Project owners should appreciate the person growing their weed. We’re not talking about a robot. The farmhand is a human being growing medicinal plants to help people heal. The handling of marijuana influences its outcome, and if we grow weed like we farm our meat, we will all end up glutenous.


Happy Cows come from Happy Farms. Happy Plants come from Happy Farmers.


Staffing companies pocket 20-30 percent of the worker’s pay in exchange for legal paperwork, including paychecks, benefits, and HR work. The farms might have their employees covered, but those employees don’t see the benefits. Their pay becomes minimal, and they are once again replaceable. To solve this, farm owners can’t just be suits and jackets. They have to have humility and care for their workers. Their workers, in return, will care about the outcome of their product. And how do we get the owner to care for their worker? By lowering taxes so that they are not stretched so thin, they too are just looking for the next dollar to keep the farm afloat. Let them keep their facade image, which may never change, but do it so that they can pay their farmer and put food on the table for their families. Then, add a structured pay scale for positions on farms. As the government recognizes this industry, its positions should be recognized and compensated adequately. Like any business, starting laborer shouldn’t be paid the same as long-term workers, transparency about weight and numbers should be available, bonuses shouldn’t just be a dream, and lead farmers should be paid for their skills and knowledge, not the equivalent of a fast-food worker with no experience. Last of all permanent employment shouldn’t be waved in front of staff like a golden ticket, without any winner.

Otters in Trinidad Bay, CA

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commons.wikimedia.org

I was thrilled to see otters in Trinidad Bay swimming in a small pack. I thought I saw a family of otters. I have come to learn that they must have been either a female or male pack since this species practices “sexual segregation.” Besides otters being adorable, they help protect the kelp forest. They are a keystone species; without them, the ecosystem will collapseā€”a genuine threat after otters were overfished in the nineteenth century, skinned for their fur. I can only imagine how many kelp forests would cease to exist if this happened, not to mention the abundant ecosystem in Trinidad Bay. It was an honor to watch these beautiful creatures swimming along the cliff from the Trinidad Pier.

There’s a lot of information about river otters, so let’s do a little river otter 101. 2005 in Trinidad Bay, Scott Shannon observed five generations of otters. As I mentioned before, otters are segregated by gender. The females swim in a hierarchy, while the males live communally and share who leads the team. Little Mama was the oldest of the otters Scott Shannon observed. She died at fourteen years old (breaking a record.) Three out of four otter pups don’t survive outside of infancy. Unlike other marine mammals, otters do not have blubber, so they clean their fur to keep insulated. The otters are hunted for their fur, but the pollution from waste and fishing is a leading cause of death.

Trinidad has a protected, giant kelp forest located at Trinidad Head. The kelp forest is home to thousands of species creating a diverse ecosystem for our fishy friends! Otters eat urchins, which eat kelp and quickly dominate coral reefs. With the protection of the otters, kelp forests thrive. Without otters, the ocean’s ecosystem is not balanced. This aquatic paradise in Trinidad is protected from waste and pollution. Extra precautions are met for the safety of the ecosystem and its otters.

These intelligent animals keep a distance from people after being hunted for generations. Yet, it isn’t unheard of for the youngins in Trinidad Bay to take a liking to people watching. Perhaps the cleanest ocean puppy, otters are animals to love and appreciate. Without them, we may not have the life-giving kelp forests that we see in Northern Humboldt today.

2 Months Postpartum

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I struggle as a full-time breastfeeder. I half formula feed (organic) and half breastfeed. I could cry about this, but I try not to. Every mom has a different story, and the best thing I can do for myself is not compare myself to other mothers. I try to do the best I can do.

My baby sleeps in the bed between us. We hold each other tight every night. When placed in the crib, he will wake up and cry till I clean him and bring him back into our bed. His little body cups my chest, eyes closed and mouth slightly open. When he falls asleep before me in the rocker, I have my husband put him in the bassinet, and it takes every ounce of my control not to bring him into the bed with me. Learning separation and independence is a two-way street. 

I can’t seem to find the motivation to leave the house, and my workouts have dwindled to a couple of hours a week in my home. On my IG is beautiful California mamas that have boomeranged back into shape after birth. I know I want to do more, but I feel so tired, unlike the rushes of energy I got throughout my pregnancy. I am a couch potato. 

My postpartum may not be drastic, but some things are different, and it’s taking me a while to adjust. Every moment with the baby is precious, as well as every moment without him. As soon as I put the baby down, I run to the bathroom, grab a cup of tea or get a little bit of laundry folding in. I don’t have a lot of time to sit around and mope.

I need to do more, seems to be the driving narrative in my mind, but there isn’t much to do now. I couldn’t imagine being away from my child for an 8-hour work shift. I don’t know how we’d survive. I need his coos and his touch as much as he needs my breast. I’m left to work odd jobs and particular hours.

My postpartum journey has just begun, but I gladly accept the negatives and the positives as I float through it. I find myself without direction or lacking motivation. These obstacles don’t stop me from balancing being the best mom possible while supporting my family and caring for my oldest. 

I stay sane by utilizing my support team and taking time for myself. I have an old classmate I zoom with weekly, and even though I miss many appointments, we always share our goals and encourage each other throughout the week to achieve them. Family has come to visit and each grandmother has had the magical touch of calming baby down and rocking him to sleep. On a normal day when the baby’s sleeping, I do an hour workout, and I either pause the video or my walk to cater to the baby’s cries. I write down in a notebook ideas, unique designs, or thoughts. I execute art projects, career goals, and personal projects with my family, using the different skills of my husband and daughter to overcome any challenges.Ā 

When the baby wakes, I first try to breastfeed him. I will put on a television show but end up just staring intensely into his eyes. I set up breastfeeding stations with either books, television, drawing tools, and water bottles around the house. I get so thirsty when I breastfeed. 

We work on elimination communication together, and so far, we have been able to catch a handful of pees and a poop. I like that I respond when he makes potty faces instead of letting him “go” in his diaper. It’s a long path, but I’m glad we have begun responding to his potty faces by putting him on a top hat toilet and making the cue sounds. 

At the end of the day, it’s little achievements. I have found myself slowing down incredibly after my pregnancy routine. I can see where this could lead to depression- thoughts that I’m not enough, contributing enough, showing up enough for friends and family. Still, it’s not like that at all.

I look forward to “practicing” traveling further and doing more things with the baby, but for now, the comforts of my own home are about as far as I have taken it.   

Setting Your Birthing Space

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We prepare our bodies and minds for birth for nine months, but what about our birthing space?

Giving birth at home gave me time to prepare my birthing space. A popular question during my pregnancy was, where are you going to give birth? I imagined in the bathtub or on all fours in the bathroom. My mom foresaw me giving birth in the bedroom- and that’s where it happened. Regardless of where you give birth, in the hospital, or at home, starting to prepare your birthing space can begin right away. Even though nothing will ever go perfectly to plan, making these items and putting energy into your birthing space will help prepare you and comfort you for when the time comes.


As soon as I decided to make the bathroom my birthing space, I began my south-facing water shrine, and I knew I had to do something about the lights. I am not a fan of fluorescent light. We switched out the mirror lights with blue LEDs for an aquatic mood. When I went into labor, it was still light outside, but we still like the blue lights.
I painted Circus Lion Malakai on the shelf. I got a fern, a common plant that grows under Redwoods, and a beautiful blue vase (which ended up not being practical.) A few candles and a vintage starfish mirror made up the rest of my south-facing alter.

To prepare my daughter, Halaya, for the birth of her brother, I had her read “Kid’s Book to Welcome a New Baby” by Barbara Collman. One of the activities was to make welcome signs for the baby, and a baby is sleeping sign. Halaya miss understood the “baby is sleeping” sign and wrote, “Malakai go to sleep!” I love the “Welcome to the World Malakai” sign she made. I smile every time I pass it. After having the baby, you have to bring him into his body. Stretch him out, move around for him. I feel like these signs are another way of welcoming him into his body by acknowledging his presence.

For my baby shower, I orchestrated prayer flags. Prayer flags are a sentence or two welcoming a baby into the world from the book Birthing from Within by Pam England and Rob Horowitz. Everyone reacted differently to the prayer flags and uniquely wrote their flags. It was heartwarming to hear what everyone had to contribute to Malakai’s coming, and it helped me feel supported by a network of friends and family. Later in life, Malakai will also appreciate the people who supported him in his journey into the world.

It was eight days after my estimated due date, and the whole house was getting ansie. I had all the time in the world, but feeling like you could pop any minute is distracting. There was this little art project I wanted to do for my birthing space inspired by a decoration in the window of the downtown clothing store, Belle Starr.


My mom and daughter were buzzing around me like frantic bees, so I bought different-sized ribbons and used a wreath base from two Christmases ago and had them work together on this octopus. It ended up being a bonding project that they were both proud of. At first, we hung it in the bathroom, and it looked beautiful with the blue light, but I had my husband remove it once the rushes became too intense. Now, this birthapus is hanging in the art room.

This picture was gifted to me by a mother friend friend, Mikaela. I found it entirely appropriate for my birthing space and felt I could use this mandala to meditate through my rushes. The painting was looking out for me and supported my journey into motherhood.

Last but not least the mobile I made for Malakai that I hung over the bed where I actually gave birth. This mobile took me two tries and hours of a DYI Mobile Macrame Youtube video with a tedious Christmas carol playing in the background. This mobile represents dreams and he loves looking up at it.


Even if you don’t give birth in your birthing space, preparing yourself with comfort items to help with the rushes and set a comfortable mood will allow you to ease your birthing experience. Also, having a humidifier with your favorite essential oils will calm the mind. Stimulating all the senses in positive ways can help with birth! Planning your birthings space ahead of time helps prepare your mind, so you can enjoy the ride.