Marriage, Pregnancy and Motherhood

My Christmas Wish

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Amid the holidays, I would like to touch on the subject of acceptance. Now more than ever, our nation is divided due to different beliefs, and I’m not talking about religious beliefs; I’m talking about, I’m right you’re wrong beliefs such as Vaccinated VS Unvaccinated, Trump VS Non-Trumpers;  not only that but divorced families that can’t stand being in the same room together, controlling lovers that won’t allow their partner time with friends, or people trying to share their opinions on Facebook and being chewed out for it. I know this isn’t just my experience, but one many of us can relate to. 

People have opinions- I’m sorry they’re not always wrong or right. The Buddhists teach a way of acceptance. When a thought pops up, it must be recognized, and it will pass because that is all it is, a thought. When there was an essential disagreement in a native tribe, they sat in peace circles and allowed everyone a chance to speak without interruption when holding a totem. Today, an opinion can cause a riot because the discussion is not part of the plan.  Can we slow down a little and look at how we, as a community, are contributing to the problem? Did you judge and slander someone for being anti-vax or a trump supporter? Does your opinion matter more than anyone else? During the Nazi regime, the German forces thought they were serving their country by committing Genocide. Can we agree that listening to all opinions can help open our eyes to things we might have been blindsided to? 

I know it’s not the same, I know you are absolutely right. I find myself more submissive and agreeable to most, even my friends. Only my partner would know my voice on controversial matters. So here we are crumbling our thoughts into dust so they can float into the universe unseen, or we are pushing our beliefs so far down people’s throats that they can’t breathe, let alone mutter what they have to say. 

Where’s the safe path?

 Well, this ties around to a concept that I have been willing to preach for a long time now. How is acceptance going to happen on a mass level without it happening in our own homes? There’s a Christian saying I learned in my youth that I’m having a hard time rephrasing, so here it goes: “Honor thy brother and sister.” The hate you’re putting on your partner, your brothers, and sisters, family, and exes or partner’s exes- Guess what?- it bleeds into the bigger picture, directly. When there is so much negativity floating around in our everyday conversations, walls that are put up, families that are separated, and children that can’t spend the holidays with both their parents because they can’t get along, it’s hard to lead by example when you’re living in separation yourself. 

I would do anything to have my mom and dad at a holiday gathering together, with their partner’s acceptance and company. I would love to have my friend over for Thanksgiving without her husband blowing up my phone, worried that she won’t make it home safely. I would have loved to have both my husband’s parents at our wedding when they both contributed so much to our lives. I hate seeing on Facebook that someone can’t talk about children getting vaccinated in schools in a MOMs group, “The place to talk about this is with the school directly. This group will chew you up and spit you out.” I wish I would be more acceptable to concepts that I think are discriminatory or unjust because who am I to judge someone else’s opinion? For this holiday season, I test myself, and I dare you to take the challenge, to not judge people’s thoughts and ideas, to not close our doors to family and friends, and to remember throughout the stress of the holidays to breathe and practice acceptance.

From its origins in India, Buddhism has had an appreciation for reasoning and debate skills. The profound purpose of Buddhist debate and reasoning is to clear away a wrong conception of our own natures and thereby to become free of suffering and even death.

Perdue, Daniel. “Tibetan Buddhist Debate.” Asia Society. https://asiasociety.org/tibetan-buddhist-debate

Cloth Diapering 2021

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I am three months into cloth diapering, and I don’t want to say I know everything about it, but I do support cloth diapering, which has a positive impact on the environment. I’ve been told I am doing it wrong, I have had pee cover the baby and the bed while the diaper was on, I’ve had to clean tar-like poops with a scrub brush, but with all the negatives, I still see some incredibly healthy positives that make cloth diapering worth it.

Eighteen billion diapers fill our landfills in America, with an estimated 95% of parents using disposable diapers. It takes approximately five hundred years to decompose diapers in a landfill. Disposable diapers are convenient, but they are no easier to use than a cloth diaper, and the clean-up for a cloth diaper impacts the environment less in the long run.

Cloth diapers come in all styles and are comfortable and cute. They stand for environmental awareness and sustainability. While using cloth diapers on the run, you can discard the dirty ones in a trash bag within your diaper bag and clean them when you go home. Cloth diapers and children’s laundry can be washed every 2-3 days in small loads. Below is my cloth diapering process.

I started with Thirsty diapers for $139.50 for five and a cloth liner at twelve for $18 I place the liner inside the diaper and fit it to a newborn size (making it tight around the thighs.) I later upgraded to Pacific Neutrals seven for $65, which were cheaper, softer, offered more padding and protection. It also came with an insert to place the liner in, I use the Naturally Natures liner, which fits the Pacific Neutrals perfectly. You can get twelve inserts for $29. These bamboo inserts are more natural and sustainable. I still use all the diapers and inserts leaving me at seventeen and forty-eight inserts at $410. Last I got these very thin liners which I don’t personally use, but you can place this liner inside the diaper if the insert is in the insert pouch. This is for extra protection, but doesnt protect the diaper much from contamination.

The clean-up is as hard as you make it. I have two small plastic tubs I got at the dollar store. I fill the pink tub up with laundry, take it to the laundry room sink and fill the blue tub up with hot water. I add one cup of Oxi Clean Stain Remover or a tablespoon of bleach. While filling, I separate the clothing from the diapers and place any peed-in liners and diapers into the filling bucket. I put aside any diapers that are pooped in. I take the filled basket onto the top of the washing machine and place the dirty clothes into the pink bucket. Then I scrape all the poop off with a scraping tool into a lined trash can. I then use a dollar store scrub brush to scrub the diapers under hot water (be careful you don’t give yourself a shit steam bath, lol. I then place that into the blue bucket with the rest of the soaking diapers and inserts. I let it soak for over an hour, sometimes overnight, drain all the water, and wash it in the machine.

I feel like cloth diapering is rewarding. After throwing away so many disposable diapers, clarity came, and I realized the impact of cloth diapering on the environment. I think disposable diapers are great for travel and nights to prevent leakage. I highly encourage anyone traveling and using disposable diapers to dispose of them in trash cans and not to leave them out in the world. Have fun shopping for cloth diapers. Their styles are so cute! Be confident that what you’re doing has your baby’s and the world’s best interest in mind.

2 Months Postpartum

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I struggle as a full-time breastfeeder. I half formula feed (organic) and half breastfeed. I could cry about this, but I try not to. Every mom has a different story, and the best thing I can do for myself is not compare myself to other mothers. I try to do the best I can do.

My baby sleeps in the bed between us. We hold each other tight every night. When placed in the crib, he will wake up and cry till I clean him and bring him back into our bed. His little body cups my chest, eyes closed and mouth slightly open. When he falls asleep before me in the rocker, I have my husband put him in the bassinet, and it takes every ounce of my control not to bring him into the bed with me. Learning separation and independence is a two-way street. 

I can’t seem to find the motivation to leave the house, and my workouts have dwindled to a couple of hours a week in my home. On my IG is beautiful California mamas that have boomeranged back into shape after birth. I know I want to do more, but I feel so tired, unlike the rushes of energy I got throughout my pregnancy. I am a couch potato. 

My postpartum may not be drastic, but some things are different, and it’s taking me a while to adjust. Every moment with the baby is precious, as well as every moment without him. As soon as I put the baby down, I run to the bathroom, grab a cup of tea or get a little bit of laundry folding in. I don’t have a lot of time to sit around and mope.

I need to do more, seems to be the driving narrative in my mind, but there isn’t much to do now. I couldn’t imagine being away from my child for an 8-hour work shift. I don’t know how we’d survive. I need his coos and his touch as much as he needs my breast. I’m left to work odd jobs and particular hours.

My postpartum journey has just begun, but I gladly accept the negatives and the positives as I float through it. I find myself without direction or lacking motivation. These obstacles don’t stop me from balancing being the best mom possible while supporting my family and caring for my oldest. 

I stay sane by utilizing my support team and taking time for myself. I have an old classmate I zoom with weekly, and even though I miss many appointments, we always share our goals and encourage each other throughout the week to achieve them. Family has come to visit and each grandmother has had the magical touch of calming baby down and rocking him to sleep. On a normal day when the baby’s sleeping, I do an hour workout, and I either pause the video or my walk to cater to the baby’s cries. I write down in a notebook ideas, unique designs, or thoughts. I execute art projects, career goals, and personal projects with my family, using the different skills of my husband and daughter to overcome any challenges. 

When the baby wakes, I first try to breastfeed him. I will put on a television show but end up just staring intensely into his eyes. I set up breastfeeding stations with either books, television, drawing tools, and water bottles around the house. I get so thirsty when I breastfeed. 

We work on elimination communication together, and so far, we have been able to catch a handful of pees and a poop. I like that I respond when he makes potty faces instead of letting him “go” in his diaper. It’s a long path, but I’m glad we have begun responding to his potty faces by putting him on a top hat toilet and making the cue sounds. 

At the end of the day, it’s little achievements. I have found myself slowing down incredibly after my pregnancy routine. I can see where this could lead to depression- thoughts that I’m not enough, contributing enough, showing up enough for friends and family. Still, it’s not like that at all.

I look forward to “practicing” traveling further and doing more things with the baby, but for now, the comforts of my own home are about as far as I have taken it.   

Setting Your Birthing Space

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We prepare our bodies and minds for birth for nine months, but what about our birthing space?

Giving birth at home gave me time to prepare my birthing space. A popular question during my pregnancy was, where are you going to give birth? I imagined in the bathtub or on all fours in the bathroom. My mom foresaw me giving birth in the bedroom- and that’s where it happened. Regardless of where you give birth, in the hospital, or at home, starting to prepare your birthing space can begin right away. Even though nothing will ever go perfectly to plan, making these items and putting energy into your birthing space will help prepare you and comfort you for when the time comes.


As soon as I decided to make the bathroom my birthing space, I began my south-facing water shrine, and I knew I had to do something about the lights. I am not a fan of fluorescent light. We switched out the mirror lights with blue LEDs for an aquatic mood. When I went into labor, it was still light outside, but we still like the blue lights.
I painted Circus Lion Malakai on the shelf. I got a fern, a common plant that grows under Redwoods, and a beautiful blue vase (which ended up not being practical.) A few candles and a vintage starfish mirror made up the rest of my south-facing alter.

To prepare my daughter, Halaya, for the birth of her brother, I had her read “Kid’s Book to Welcome a New Baby” by Barbara Collman. One of the activities was to make welcome signs for the baby, and a baby is sleeping sign. Halaya miss understood the “baby is sleeping” sign and wrote, “Malakai go to sleep!” I love the “Welcome to the World Malakai” sign she made. I smile every time I pass it. After having the baby, you have to bring him into his body. Stretch him out, move around for him. I feel like these signs are another way of welcoming him into his body by acknowledging his presence.

For my baby shower, I orchestrated prayer flags. Prayer flags are a sentence or two welcoming a baby into the world from the book Birthing from Within by Pam England and Rob Horowitz. Everyone reacted differently to the prayer flags and uniquely wrote their flags. It was heartwarming to hear what everyone had to contribute to Malakai’s coming, and it helped me feel supported by a network of friends and family. Later in life, Malakai will also appreciate the people who supported him in his journey into the world.

It was eight days after my estimated due date, and the whole house was getting ansie. I had all the time in the world, but feeling like you could pop any minute is distracting. There was this little art project I wanted to do for my birthing space inspired by a decoration in the window of the downtown clothing store, Belle Starr.


My mom and daughter were buzzing around me like frantic bees, so I bought different-sized ribbons and used a wreath base from two Christmases ago and had them work together on this octopus. It ended up being a bonding project that they were both proud of. At first, we hung it in the bathroom, and it looked beautiful with the blue light, but I had my husband remove it once the rushes became too intense. Now, this birthapus is hanging in the art room.

This picture was gifted to me by a mother friend friend, Mikaela. I found it entirely appropriate for my birthing space and felt I could use this mandala to meditate through my rushes. The painting was looking out for me and supported my journey into motherhood.

Last but not least the mobile I made for Malakai that I hung over the bed where I actually gave birth. This mobile took me two tries and hours of a DYI Mobile Macrame Youtube video with a tedious Christmas carol playing in the background. This mobile represents dreams and he loves looking up at it.


Even if you don’t give birth in your birthing space, preparing yourself with comfort items to help with the rushes and set a comfortable mood will allow you to ease your birthing experience. Also, having a humidifier with your favorite essential oils will calm the mind. Stimulating all the senses in positive ways can help with birth! Planning your birthings space ahead of time helps prepare your mind, so you can enjoy the ride.

How I Foreshadowed my Pregnancy with Deviation Runes

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Last November, I went on a date that ended in disaster because the girl’s husband I was seeing was a communist/ Christian who deemed me a trump supporter. But, through all the chaos, she introduced me to deviation runes that foretold my pregnancy. This girl is still on my mind ten months later and maybe what I have left from our encounter is a new fascination with runes.

This unnamed woman and I had gone out a few times before. This time we wanted to include her husband to develop a relationship within the boundaries of their marriage. Unfortunately, I don’t fit in most people’s boundaries, even when I try to respect those lines. Regardless, my friend was visiting from San Diego, and after a few drinks at the bar, we decided to go to their apartment.

For what it was, things started okay. The woman I was seeing showed me her home, and we sat in the living room and talked about her and her husbands lives. He showed me his communist bible, and she showed me her deviation runes. I was far more interested in the runes (maybe this is where I went wrong.) I had never used them before.

She told me a little about them; an ancient Germanic language scripted on stones that Vikings and later Europeans would use for future telling. A set of 24 ruins, this set of small stones are carved and inlaid in gold. I mixed them up in a small tote bag and poured them onto the carpet. She directed me to remove all the runes that were facing upside down. I took the remainders and placed them in a circle, softly pushing them to the closest position. In the end, it looked like this.

I asked the runes what my future would hold. The centerpiece being a foundation rune; Tehraz meaning victory. My story would tell of new beginnings possibly driven by impulsive behavior. Starting from the one o’clock position, I began to read my tale. Feliu, wealth, the first symbol of the set and in my circle. I would interrupt this stone as Love, my meaning of wealth and something I was focused on improving at the time. Rather it be with myself or my family. The second stone is Jers, the rune that means years, cycles, and success. I found myself starting a new practice in San Diego, where I connected with my ancestors in a monthly pagan ceremony that would quickly lead me to moving to Humboldt county.

Isa, correlates to a standstill, and after our move, I reflect on a time when things were so content that it drove me to find excitement- something new. With my partner’s consent, I began to look on Okcupid for a female companion—someone to enjoy my free time with. Mannaz, the following stone revealed a female in my life, the one that would give me these stones I had used to do this reading. When I met her, a fire lit within my heart. She got along with my husband and daughter, and we were able to get away for dinners and walks on the strand. I enjoyed her company so much; her dialect would echo in my mind still to this day.

The runes would predict events that would happen as quickly as that same night, for by the end of the evening, her husband would show distrust in me and what I would perceive as jealousy. The rune Gebo, marriage, is paired with Nauthiz, constraint. I want to say that we live in a world where polyamory is as easy as its imagined. When I read this in the stones, I foresaw trouble in my relationship with the woman, and later on, I would do a tarot reading for her that also foreshadowed trouble. Her husband wasn’t open to my point of view and had no intention of discussing any side besides his own. The night ended in a hot debate that resulted in him asking me to leave.

We could have ended there, but we didn’t. We continued to see each other, and maybe that’s where I went wrong. I didn’t confront her husband but ignored him. The next rune stone is Dagaz, meaning home, breakthrough, and twilight. So much was happening at the time; I was graduating from my bachelor’s program, my husband and I were getting along, and he was supportive of my relationship with my lady friend. His family came to visit, and we were settling into our new home nicely. I was able to ignore the turmoil with her partner and was back to being content and sharing my life with this woman. The next rune is Ingwaz, Fertility. I didn’t know it at the time of this reading, but I would remind her of what the runes had told me a month later when I found out I was pregnant. At first, she thought my partner was trying to separate us by asserting his seed, but I reassured her it was planned, even though I wasn’t sure if I would conceive so quickly. She told me she wanted to work through it. It was a fantastic feeling to know she cared about me so deeply that she would work through such a life-changing event. We shared a romantic night at an Airbnb to celebrate my graduation, but afterward, her husband demanded I apologize to him. When I came over and did so, he did not accept my apology, and I saw no other choice but to break it off.

The last rune is Othala, meaning prosperity but also hard work and family. I was blessed nine months later with a baby boy. Even though the struggle of meeting someone I connected so well with and losing her would take a toll on my heart, the amazement of having a child and a new member of our family filled me with joy. Do I believe in deviation runes? Yes. This reading I did in November was very relevant to my life and forecasted some unknown events. I wish I listened closer and tried harder to keep this lady friend in my life so that we could share the excitement of a newborn and explore witchcraft further together. Perhaps it’s time for another reading. The runes may have something new to reveal.

You can purchase runes at my store or on my Etsy.

Planting the Placenta: How I Honored my Placenta and how it Resembles the Tree of Life

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I had an amazing at-home birthing experience last week, and out of it came a beautiful baby and the life-giving placenta. The placenta is responsible for providing oxygen to the baby, discarding waste, and giving nutrients. The umbilical cord comes from the placenta and is attached to the baby’s belly. The placenta, bloody and bag-like, also resembles the tree of life within its design. Even though one can consume the placenta, I choose to plant it in a tree. My doula offered to do a placenta print, and so we did!

Tree of Life within the Placenta

Before I get to the placenta, I would like to talk about my experience with the doula.

My doula, Sarah with Sacred Cycle Doula, gave me pregnancy tea to help induce labor and support my immune system. Sarah (https://www.sacredcyclesdoula.com/) picked me up two days before my birth to take me on a walk on the beach. I expressed my insecurities, and we spent the time getting to know each other at the Samoa Dunes in Humboldt County. A doula is an emotional support person during birth. She helped me with my breathing during labor. Afterward, she helped me with my milk production by offering me a bulk serving of a soup made from coconut, sweet potato, and nettle. This sweet porridge-like meal worked wonders, and after a few days, with the help of Mother’s Milk Tea, my milk was abundant.

The day after my birth, we took the placenta out of the fridge and placed it on a chux pad to make the print. Using the blood still in the ziplock bag, she painted the placenta with it and, with a large drawing paper, she made a perfect print of the placenta that helped support, feed, and nourish my baby.

Placenta Print

I knew I wanted to plant my placenta. I initially was drawn to a lemon tree, but I couldn’t find one anywhere local in late summer. I settled with a Mutsu, green apple tree. I bought a large pot to put it in until we have found a permanent home. My husband, the farmer, filled the bottom of the pot with Fox Farm Soil. We placed the placenta inside and added another layer of soil before adding the tree so that the organ wasn’t directly underneath the tree. Then, we filled the rest of the pot up and watered it lightly.

Placenta in Apple Tree

The tree symbolizes the tree of life reflected on the placenta, as well as the journey ahead of my baby boy. It also resembles the change of the seasons that will make its leaves transition in color which will fall and regrow. The tree will provide fruit that helps nourish and feed its community, as I hope my son will foster to his. These are the reasons I choose to plant my placenta. Please comment below with what you did with yours!

File:Tree of life.jpg
The Tree of Life (wikimedia.org)

Malakai Klaus Pearson at Home Birth

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August 10, 2021

Birthing Story

Warning *Nudity and Adult Content*

Check out my “Unassisted” Birth Plan I wrote at 18weeks for a complete perspective of my birthing experience.

IG: the_glowing_expectant

I never thought the words “I do” would follow me beyond eloping. At the peak of my transition, I shouted, I couldn’t do it any longer, and my husband said, “Remember, your body is made to give birth,” and I responded, “I do.” After that, I knew I could do it.

My contractions started around 4 am on August 10th. My mom, Sascha, was visiting from San Diego. My due date was August 2nd, and I was now ten days late. As a first-time birther, I didn’t know what to expect. I laid in bed, and when I felt myself dilating, I went to the bathroom. Going back and forth would go on for the remainder of the morning. I texted my midwife at 7:32 am, “Feeling contractions. I think today’s the day. I’ll see you at one.” We had a scheduled visit for that afternoon, and I thought I’d ride the waves until then. My daughter, Halaya, stayed home from her school camp, and my mom prepared the house and catered to my needs.

When the midwife, Jami, came, I had her check my dilation. I was at 2cm, and she told me I was doing great as I paced the room and bounced on my birth ball. Her assistant, Elise, helped her bring in supplies and set up the bed with a mattress cover and sheets. They told me they had a 3 pm prenatal visit and that, as a first-time birther, I shouldn’t expect to have the baby until later that night or possibly the following day. They reassured me that they would stay locally and to call them when the contractions were stronger. Elise told me as she left to call Sarah, the doula, in a few hours if I needed help.

Sarah is a newer doula and was offering her services for the experience. I called her around 3:15 pm. It was hard for me to talk in between contractions, and I asked her to come within the hour. She got to my house at 4:05 pm, and I was in between being on all fours and the toilet. I was internalized and not speaking clearly. Sarah offered me water, broth, and labor-aid in between contractions, from which I could take only a few sips. I was throwing up and having a hard time keeping anything down. They were about three minutes apart when she timed my transitions, lasting about a minute and in a pattern. She would tell me later that they progressed very quickly from the time she was there. I yelled at her that I felt the need “to shit.” I went as far as asking her if the baby was coming out of my ass.

When I sat on the toilet again, I felt the need to push and a lot of pressure. I held onto my surroundings which was a sign to Sarah that I had the need to bear down and that it was time to call the midwife. I responded fiercely, “Call the fucking midwife.” That’s when the mucus plug came out.

Sarah said with beautiful big brown eyes that I needed to pant. We began to pant together. She asked me if I would get into the tub, and a little resiliently, I did so. There was a moment when I sunk into the tub, and I got back onto all fours when I felt the next contraction. My husband soothed me with kind words and petted my forehead. My daughter also came into the bathroom and kissed me but then left the room at my request. Then again, I sunk into the tub, but I couldn’t do it anymore and wanted out when the next contraction came.

I was back on the floor and saying “Oww” in rhythm while on all fours. My mom suggested that I go into the bedroom, but I couldn’t move and told her aggressively to leave the room. I gave a few heavy pushes, and Sarah told me to try not to push and instead pant while we waited for the midwife. I got my husband to walk me to the bedroom, where I’d have more space.

I got onto the bed, and there was no stopping me at this point. Halaya tried to come into the room, and out of fear, I asked her to wait in her room. With bulging eyes, I looked at Sarah to guide me through my breathing techniques. We did a few breaths out and a long awww sound to get things moving. I strongly depended on her at this point to guide me through my experience. My husband stood behind, waiting for the baby. He would tell me he thought the baby was also coming out of my rectum until he mentally corrected himself. The baby’s head began to crown after a few pushes. I gave a high pitch scream. Sarah reminded me, “lower tones bring the baby,” and I followed her lead. She told my mom to get the receiving blankets. There was a moment I couldn’t see Sarah, and I screamed her name. She returned to locking eyes with me, and we breathed through the rushes together.

Jeremy saw the baby’s head. The baby’s face turned purple, and he noticed that the cord was wrapped tightly around the baby’s neck. I didn’t feel the need to push suddenly and wanted to rest. My husband told me I had to push, and I responded that I did not. Sarah reiterated that it was vital for me to continue pushing at this time, and I did so.

Jeremy grabbed Malakai as he was sliding out at 5:01 pm. He said the baby had mucus draining from his nose. He untwisted the cord instinctually. There was a lot of blood, and the concern to call 911 arose. Sarah asked Jeremy and me, and we both rejected. The baby was behind me from in between my legs. J held the baby on its stomach to get it to sputter out the fluid. The baby was limp, and I requested they bring the baby back through my legs and onto my chest. I immediately swiped his mouth for mucus and patted the baby on the back. Malakai began to cry softly and was finally coming into his body. As I laid on the bed with my newborn, Sarah offered me a shepherd’s purse tincture to help stop the bleeding.

We all took a deep breath, and the midwife came about 5 minutes later. I was hemorrhaging, but I felt relieved that my baby was in my arms and we were all alive. Jami and Elise came into the room, shocked to see us all sitting calmly on the bed with a newborn baby. My mom got Halaya and brought her into the room. She was able to greet her new baby brother. Halaya smiled with excitement and gave baby and me a kiss on the forehead.

Jami gave me a shot to help with the blood loss. There was no tearing and I accredit it to a constant burning sensation that caused me to massage my labia frequently. After about 15 minutes, Jami recommended I sat on a stool and pushed out the rest of the placenta. I was uncomfortable, but shortly after squatting, it ejected out. After the cord stopped pulsing, we got two black candlesticks from my altar. Jeremy and I burned the cord together. Halaya watched while we sang tunes and waited for the cord to burn, which took about 5-8 minutes. Once the cord was burnt, we had a chance to settle, and Elise took the baby’s vitals. Halaya listened to the baby’s heart and lungs, and Elise weighed him at 7lbs 12 oz and his height to be 21 inches. He had long fingers and large feet.

Looking at my baby in my arms was so fulfilling. I said to Sarah that Malakai had an old soul. His cues warmed the room, and we all sat awe-stricken as the baby looked around at his new world. It took him a while to latch, but Jami ensured he did so before leaving the room. I filled my peri bottle with a homemade sitz bath extract and used it to soothe myself when I used the restroom.

Everyone went home before 8:15 pm, and we had the rest of the evening to enjoy as a family. My mom made eggrolls. Halaya held her little brother, and my mom sat with him on the rocking chair. We all reminisced about the excitement of the birth. We were all impressed with J’s quick actions to unwrap the umbilical cord, and my mom expressed her fear when she saw his purple face. I would look back on the helping hand Sarah offered me and the deep connection I felt with her as she helped me ride the waves of my birthing experience. In the end, our baby boy came out alive and well.

That night Malakai nursed for what seemed like hours. We tried to put him in the bassinet, but he wouldn’t have it. We moved him from the bassinet to the dock-a-tock in between us on the bed. He cried, forcing me to hold him on my chest as I tried not to drift off to sleep. He took a handful of loaded poops, a tar-like dark brown. Around 4 am when everyone was on cloud 9, I put him back in the dock-a-tock, cuddled next to my husband, and slept for a few hours.

I appreciate everyone that contributed and was so proud of my home birth experience. Reading all the books prepared me not to be afraid and ride my contractions’ waves. I wouldn’t give it up for the world. And even though they say your birth never goes as you planned, my birth unexpectedly went exactly as I had wanted.

If you are a Humboldt local here are my recommendations for birthing assisstants:

All of these woman were incredibly helpfully and I highly recommend their services for a spiritual and centered birthing experience.

Midwife: Jami Johnson: (707) 272-0339

Doula: Jessika Shinn: (503) 791-7330

Doula: Sarah @ Sacred Cycles Doula: (386) 882-1652

Masseuse: Audrie Kuhl @ Subliminal Sensation: (707) 296-4806

Fertility Package

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I got very exciting news last weekend that my friend is trying to conceive. I am pregnant for the first time and in my last trimester, and I couldn’t help but feel a deep connection with her longing for a child. I immediately wanted to set up a fertility care package. Influenced by my pagan practices, I researched candles, essential oils, vitamins, images, teas, and stones that contribute to conception. Here are some of my findings. 

STONES:

Stones that influence fertility include; Moonstone, Rose Quartz, Aventurine, Red Carnelian, Aquamarine, Fluorite, and Smokey Quartz. If you believe in the influence of stones, wearing these stones or having a piece on you or in a place where you see it often will manifest fertility within your life. Here is an overview of these stones.

Moonstone: (Sacral Chakra) Moonstone is known to create a happy home. It inspires passion, change, and new beginnings. This stone is known to help with circulation, skin, hair and eyes, and fertility. It will help a woman with pregnancy, childbirth, female qualities, hormones, and sexuality. It brings on compassion, calmness, and motherly qualities. It helps with oversensitivity, pessimism, and combats cycles/ repeated patterns. This stone will prepare mom to be with the qualities she needs to be birthed into motherhood. 

Rose Quartz: (Heart Chakra) Rose quartz manifests creativity. This stone is good for keeping your organs healthy. It promotes fertility and a regular menstrual cycle. It also balances the sex drive and helps overcome sexual frustration. It helps with detoxing. This stone is good for relationships, romance, love, and forgiveness. It helps with childhood trauma and emotional wounds. Rose Quartz is a good stone for mom to overcome adverse events from the past and regain sexual drive and motivation. 

Aventurine:  (Heart Chakra) Aventurine is quartz with inclusions of mica that creates a speckled effect. This stone impacts leadership skills, decisions, stress, and yin/yang balance. It’s good for your muscles and heart. Aventurine aids relaxation, protects and soothes emotions, as well as, prevents energy vampires. This stone is good for helping mom make her own decisions and pushing away all the doubters. 

Red Carnelian: (Sacral Chakra) Red Carnelian is used for emotional warmth, individuality, self-esteem, rebirth, and reincarnation. It offers courage and positive life choices, and it replaces feelings of abuse and neglect with love for life. It also promotes fertility and sexual drive, helps with lower back pain, arthritis, and depression. Red Carnelian improves mineral and vitamin absorption and ensures good blood supply to organs and tissues. This stone readies the body and heart for conception.  

  • Aquamarin auf Muskovit

Aquamarine: (Throat Chakra) Aquamarine helps with communication and courage (it takes two to tango, and this stone may help break the ice that it’s time to start a family.) It builds tolerance and responsibility, which is necessary for a mother and father’s relationship. This stone brings calmness and compassion. It also influences spiritual awareness, development and reveals the truth about yourself. Nine months of caring around a child is a spiritual journey of its own. Mom to be should be aware of herself so that she can make the journey with confidence. This stone is suitable for centering and meditation, which will help with childbirth and should be practiced throughout the pregnancy. 

Flourite: (Brow Chakra) Flourite comes in many different colors. It focuses on the mind and creates order out of chaos. It is used for decisions, relationships, and concentration. This stone is suitable for blood vessels, bones, spleen, and health issues such as early cancer, herpes, ulcers, weight gain, backache, and eating disorders. It also aides detox. This stone is suitable for meditation and helps with excitement and stress. As well as for mothers to be that have health problems that they are worried will affect or hinder childbearing. 

Smokey Quartz: (Base Chakra) Smokey Quartz is used for vitality, intuition, survival instincts, male energy, and mental activity. Being pregnant is a natural occurrence. It’s what makes us populate, yet it can be a struggle that is overwhelming emotionally and physically for mom to be. This stone dissipates negative energy. It can help with overspending and will move the mother further in life. It is suitable for physical expression and sexual significance. IT grounds, relaxes, sedates, aids in meditation and dream interpretation. I struggled with vivid dreaming throughout my pregnancy, and this stone will help the mother understand where these dreams are coming from. This stone helps with negativity, anger, depression, despair, and grief. Many first-time moms might feel like they won’t make a good mother, and this stone will help them overcome those fears. 

FERTILITY BRACELET

To make this bracelet I bought the beads from the Tailsman in downtown Eureka. I highly recommend stopping by their shop: https://talisman-beads.com/

If you would like to purchase this bracelet you can find it on Etsy @ https://www.etsy.com/listing/1045794697/fertility-bracelet

TEA: 

A good pregnancy tea mixture includes Nettle Leaf, Red Raspberry Leaf Peppermint Leaf, Red Clover Herb, Lemon Balm, and Jasmine Green Tea. 

[Disclaimer: The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.]

Nettle Leaf– Nettle Leaf is an incredibly healing plant that can be harvested along nature paths. It’s that sticky, sharp plant you’ve always avoided touching. Nettle Leaf contains vitamins A, C, D, and K. It helps boost calcium, potassium, iron, and sulfur in the body. It is excellent for fetal health! 

Red Raspberry Leaf– Red raspberry leaf tea encourages pregnancy by balancing hormones and readies the body for ovulation when taken during the follicular phase. It tones the uterus and soothes the uterine tonic.  

Peppermint Leaf– The peppermint leaf promotes fertility with Folic acid, calcium, and Vitamin A, B12, and C, along with other vitamins and minerals to create a relaxing and soothing effect. It helps to reduce stress levels and raises fertility by strengthening the female reproduction organs. It helps regulate ovulation and balances hormones. 

Red Clover Herb– Red Clover Herb improves circulation and blood flow, strengthening the uterus and ovaries. 

Lemon Balm– Lemon Balm is a strong herb to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. A woman’s body will struggle to conceive while under pressure. The body is naturally protecting itself. When mom-to-be is healthy and happy, she is more likely to conceive.

Jasmine Green Tea– Jasmine green tea works as an aromatherapy agent, soothing and relaxing the brain. It is rumored to increase sperm count for men. Green tea also increases ovulation, matures the egg, and causes the eggs to be more fertile. It reduces the damage caused by the woman’s environment with antioxidants and polyphenols while increasing immunity. 

You can purchases this Fertility Tea on Etsy @ https://www.etsy.com/listing/1045784973/fertility-tea

Sources: 

The Crystal Healer by Philip Permntt. 

https://www.charmsoflight.com/carnelian-healing-properties

Using the Cup and Offering Gaia Blood Collection

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Girl Talk!

by Natascha Pearson

May 19, 2021

The Menstrual Cup

Until October of last year, I was using the menstrual cup for about six months before discovering I was pregnant. Before that, I used tampons during my monthly flow. These were uncomfortable for me, and I felt unsanitary throughout the day. I also wasn’t comfortable with disposing of them, they shouldn’t go down the toilet, and it was always a pain throwing them away in the trash because my dog would try to get to it (gross, I know.) I worked on connecting with myself spiritually when I made the switch. I would save my blood to give back to the Earth. My monthly cycle was right before the full moon, and I took advantage of this by giving my offering when the moon was full.

Using the cup not only cuts out the waste of using tampons (or pads), but it is easy and comfortable for me to dispose of (in the toilet, or my case, a jar for safekeeping,) washed (preferably in a sink or in the case of a public restroom, over the toilet with a water bottle) and reinserted. It never felt too deep or lost (which can very well happen with a tampon.) So not only did I feel cleaner, fresher, and more comfortable, I also felt more aligned with my flow. I was aware of the days to expect it, how many days I would be bleeding, even how much I had bled (you won’t get that insight with a tampoon.) I could wear the cup in the water without an issue and keep it inserted for 6-12 hours without it filling, spilling, smelling, or causing discomfort. I use the brand Dot Cup (I prefer the black one to the white), and it comes in a discreet carrying pouch. You can choose from three different sizes. There are loads of tutorials on youtube for comfortable insertion and distraction.

Gaia| Earth| Mother Earth

Giving blood to the Earth sounded eww to me at first, too. But once I had come to appreciate how much the Earth offers me (or how much I take from it), I realized that contributing back to the planet that aids me daily helped me feel more connected to my environment. Women lose 2-4 tablespoons of blood a cycle. Blood should not be stored longer than 3-4 days to avoid bacteria build. In my practice, I dug out a pile of dirt next to my ritual tree or within the forest and buried my offering there. This offering comes with nitrogen, phosphorous, and potassium. Blood is an attractive food for insects, according to an article on abc.net. Watering down the blood that is condensed with salt and other chemicals can be applied directly to plants as a fertilizer.

When my period didn’t come in October, I knew four days after my missed date that I was pregnant. Offering my menstrual cycle was a very beautiful experience for me since I felt that Gaia had shown her appreciation with the most magical gift of all, my first pregnancy. Later I would continue to give blessings to Mother Earth by offering herbs from my tea bags (something I drink a lot of while pregnant.)

I have gathered information from healthline.com about the cons of using tampons and pads compared to using the cup. In the worst-case scenarios, tampoons can cause toxic shock syndrome, which is life-threatening. They often can be uncomfortable, need to be changed frequently, can get stuck and forgotten inside the uterus, and the size of your flow can be more or less than the size of your tampoon. Tampoons have a significant environmental impact, with millions littering landfills every year. Tampons shouldn’t be flushed, and they can also irritate and dry out your vagina, causing pain and discomfort. Pads, on the other hand, can’t be used in water. It can lead to an odor throughout the day. They can shift out of place, wrinkle, and be uncomfortable. Their less discreet than tampoons or the cup, and you can’t wear them in a thong with G-string. The cup’s cons also include toxic shock syndrome in very rare circumstances. It can be irritable if not inserted or cleaned correctly and a possible chance of infection if your hands are not cleaned properly.

I wish someone had told me about the cup when I was younger, I would have liked to have taken advantage of it earlier in life, and I’m thankful now to have a tool that makes my period more comfortable and something honorable. I’m a woman, and I have this fantastic gift of giving birth. My monthly flow is something to embrace, not to be embarrassed over. It’s also a money saver.

Women Empowerment

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by Natascha Pearson

4/30/21

Disclaimer: This article is directed toward empowering females in my life. Men have played an equally empowering role, but this article is focused on the unique relationship between women within our society. 

What does woman empowerment mean to you? How do you see the women in your family, friends, society, or world inspire you or make a difference in your life? This article touches on a few women that changed my path in life, lent me a hand, or were there for me when I needed them most. If you feel like you have never been this character, I hope you read this article and understand that even one sentence, one piece of advice, one hug can be all a person needs to make a difference in the path that they walk. 

Googles Definition: Women empowerment is the process of encourage on another. It can be defined in several ways, including accepting women’s viewpoints or making an effort to seek them out, raising the status of women through education, awareness, literacy, and training.

I always told myself to take the direct advice of an older woman. I’m not saying I always listened to my mom, but there was a time I was homeless and traveling with two older guys, and a woman came out of a gas station when we returned to the spot I had met them at, and she told me, “get away from these guys, I know them, and they’re no good.” So I left them after traveling with them for two months. I didn’t even say goodbye. Sure I missed them, and we were friends, but they just beat up the guy I had left my hometown with and left him in the last state we were in, so I figured she was probably right. A few years later, while I was still living out of my backpack, a woman walked from outside of her house to hand me $20 and told me to get out of LA. These women, who were strangers, influenced how I got off the street.

When I ended up in Florida, I met a woman who held onto my savings so that I could safely tuck away money for a boat-captain school that I wanted to attend. She was honest and encouraging. I asked for the money back before I could attend the school. She would later come back into my life through social media, saying how she felt like a mother figure toward me and how much she cared about my wellbeing since it seemed like back then, I was on a troubled path. 

A woman supporting a woman to be the best that they can be is what women empowerment means to me. In a community where competition drives young adults, uplifting one another helps support and guide other females within the circle. It brings prosperity and appreciation. It helps nurture self love, and neighborhood kindness.  

My best friend’s mom let me live with them free of rent for six months. She was always lovely when we crossed paths, and our interaction was always short and friendly. When my 25th birthday came, I asked her for advice. She told me always to wear sunscreen. Her advice has never left me. 

Now that I’m married, I dialed a friend who started a counseling service, asking her to guide me to become a more aware and present version of myself. We talked about my dreams, wants, and desires, and throughout our sessions, I saw many of these come true. When I struggled with my family, I confided in her. She had captured all my trust. When I felt complete, I ended the sessions, but the way she supported me made me have a tremendous amount of respect for her. Women empowerment comes with respect for an individual. 

When I got pregnant, a woman I had hardly spoken to in my circle reached out, offering me advice on my pregnancy whenever I needed it, something I wasn’t getting from my OB (on-call advice). She was not intrusive and nonjudgmental. She sent me and the baby clothes and gifts. When I hadn’t heard from her in a while and became shy to reach out, she sent me a message when I least expected it.  

After I finished school, I was worried about losing momentum after doing very well for a few years. So I reached out to a woman in my class and asked her if she wanted to meet once a week to check on our progress out of college. Even though I’d like to think our interactions are an equal exchange, she has helped me keep on track, stay positive, and work harder. 

If you feel like you don’t fit into any of these categories of the inspiring woman in my life, know that what you say impacts other people. Even if you feel like what you said wasn’t necessary or wasn’t received, there is a good chance that the idea or action will linger in that person’s heart for a long time. We are all inspiring, beautiful goddesses, and by reaching out a hand, you are helping someone take a step up who may have fallen flat without it. There’s a special bond between women in our society. We share ideas, lessons, and our cycles connect. Our paths intertwine. These interactions are not disregarded but respected as we grow together. 

Thank you for reading, till next time.